Being Ignored

Vol. 16 No. 38 | September 23, 2013

Sometimes I like being ignored.

When I go to a new place and I am just looking around and checking things out…a hotel, a church, a business…I like to be able to move about where I choose and at my own pace. I like the freedom that being ignored allows. If I am in a coffee shop and I already have my coffee and I am doing my work, reading, or writing, I like the freedom that being ignored provides.

Father, help me give people the space they need, when they need it.

Sometimes I do not like being ignored.

When I go to a restaurant and do not get served as quickly as I think I should, I do not like being ignored. For instance, one time we were seated in a timely fashion and were handed a menu, but no one came to take our drink order, no one came to take our order, no one came to check on us. Numerous times servers passed by, looked at us as if to say, “I wonder who is waiting on those people?” to which my reply would have been had they stopped long enough to ask, “NO ONE IS WAITING ON US!”

I do not like to be ignored when I am in a store and cannot find what I am looking for. For instance, recently I went into a sporting goods store and went directly to the department where I needed to be. I could not find what I was looking for. I could not find anyone to help me. I did, however, come face to face with one employee (easily identifiable by the shirt and name tag he was wearing) who looked at me, smiled, and walked on as if to say, “You probably need some help, but I’m too busy making my way to the front of the store to stand around so people can see me.” I left the store thinking, “I do not like being ignored.”

I do not like being ignored when I am seeking employment. (No, I am not currently seeking employment, but there have been times in the past when I was.) For instance, in 1986 my wife and I traveled to a church in the eastern part of a state that begins with a “T” (not Tennessee) where we met with members of a search team, I preached, and we left. I have not heard from those folks yet. I guess they were not interested in us. If any of you folks from that church are reading this, I have a job now (thanks for asking). In a day like ours where there is an over-abundance of communication technology it only takes a moment to make a call or send an email stating, “Thank you for your interest, but we are continuing our search.” Or, “Thank you for your interest in our position, we have had some unexpected delays in the process. We will be getting in touch with you as soon as possible.”

Father, help me not get so busy, or act so busy, that it keeps people from asking me for help, or makes them feel that they are being ignored.

Sometimes being ignored is merely frustrating.

If I am trying to communicate something important to people I love and they ignore me, it frustrates me. When I am trying to conduct a meeting, initiate a discussion or start a class and people ignore me, it frustrates me. It is frustrating when someone calls me then puts me on hold, or when I am standing at a check-out station and the clerk answers a phone while I wait.

Father, help me not frustrate people by ignoring them when they are talking, and remind me not to leave a conversation I am having to answer my phone or reply to a text message.

I know in the big scheme of life this is pretty petty stuff. I have gotten over these times of being ignored (at least most of it…I do still sometimes wonder when I’ll hear from that church in the state that begins with at “T” and is not Tennessee), and I will get over it when it happens in the future. But, sometimes being ignored, or thinking I am being ignored, is more frustrating and inconvenient.

Sometimes the perception of being ignored by God really hurts.

It hurts when prayers seem to go unheard, not just unanswered. It hurts when God seems to be distant and uninterested in my needs. Jeremiah said, “Even when I call out or cry for help, he shuts out my prayer.” (Lamentations 3:8)

It hurts when I pray the same prayer over and over and over and get the same response: silence. Job said, “I cry out to you, God, but you do not answer; I stand up, but you merely look at me.” (Job 30:20) David said, “My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest.” (Psalm 22:2)

In my heart I know He hears me. Deep in my soul I know He will answer in His time and in His way. David reminds me, “Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice.” (Psalm 55:17)

I really do know that He cares about me. Again, David says, “I cry out to God Most High, to God, who vindicates me.” (Psalm 57:2) “Lord, you are the God who saves me; day and night I cry out to you.” (Psalm 88:1)

Even though I know, sometimes it hurts to feel ignored by God.

Father, help me not stop “crying out” to You in my distress and in times of delight, even when it appears that You are not listening, when You seem to be responding slower than I prefer, or when I do not like the way You respond.

Sometimes I am the one who ignores.

Sometimes I am busier than I need to be and unintentionally ignore those who are nearest and dearest to me. Sometimes I am so focused on my own needs and desires that I ignore the needs of others around me. Sometimes I am just plain rude and ignore people because I do not want to be bothered. Sometimes I become so demanding and narrowly focused on the immediate that I fail to see and acknowledge (translated, ignore) all the things God does for me, and has done for me, often before I even ask. Sometimes I put God on “hold” while I attend to the important matters of my life.

Father, I am sorry. I want to do better.

Here is a challenge. This week when you begin to feel, “I am being ignored and I don’t like this!” stop and remind yourself that you are not the only person in the room, that there are other people in the store, and that the world really does not revolve around you. It is possible that someone has a more pressing need than you. God may already be doing something that you cannot see, something that is “more than you can ask or imagine.” And, do your best to pay attention to the person God puts in your path. They may be feeling, “I am being ignored and I don’t like this!” and you may be the person God wants to reassure them that they are not.

If you will try this for a week, I suspect you will feel much better about yourself, your relationship with God, and the people you come in contact with.

(ONE MORE THING: Thanks for not ignoring this A Norvell Note.)

Tom

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