Vol. 17 No. 23 | June 8, 2015
Norma Lee Taylor (November 18, 1926 – June 2, 2015)
Every now and then something happens that as it is happening you realize that because of it your life will never be the same. That was the case at a few minutes before 11:00 last Tuesday night when we got the call that Nana (my wife’s mother) had taken her last breath. Prayers were answered as she peacefully and quietly took a couple of breaths and went home to be with the Lord.
In those moments your mind our minds filled with memories and swirled with details. We knew it was coming. We had prepared for it. She knew it was coming so she had made preparations that would lessen our burden. There Were people to call. We would need to finalize the arrangements. We would need to discuss schedules and travel plans. We knew it was coming, but still we were frozen in disbelief.
Grief is often described as a wave in the ocean. It comes out of nowhere when you least expect it and knocks you for a loops. You recover the best you can, get your bearings, steady yourself, then suddenly another wave hits you from behind and takes you down. That certainly describes the experience of the last ten months as our family and friends walked with Nana, and with each other, through declining health and eventual death. As we hold on tho the memories to encourage and comfort us we will periodically be swept away by other waves of sadness and loss. We will also be refreshed and restored by memories of joy and laughter and a life lived long and well.
In the sprays that followed we shared memories of Nana’s strength and determination. We recalled occasions when because of her sheer determination to make life better she worked hard, she provided food, she offered financial assistance, she made phone calls, she served on boards, she offered advice, she asked questions. She could really ask questions. And, if she did not hear the answer she wanted, she would often ask it again, and again, and again. Even if you repeatedly gave the same “I don’t know” answer she assumed you would surely know the answer if she would still ask it one more time..
We remembered times when she helped her husband achieve his career goals. We reminded each other of how when he was sick she stepped up and did whatever she needed to do to get him help, get him where he needed to be, and stayed with him until the issue was resolved. We recounted how she stayed with him to very end, relentless in her efforts to make sure he was cared for and provided for as he should be.
Her children shared how Nana had provided for them through her love, her words, her written notes, her financial assistance, her direct eye-to-eye confrontations. They shared stories of how she stepped in when there was no one else to step in. We heard stories of how she cared for her own mother, making sure the received the best care available to her, and again how she was with her to the very end.
We read hand-written notes where she stated the guidelines for her long-term care: how she wanted to spend her last days, where she wanted to spend them, and how they were to be paid for. Nana was a woman who knew what she wanted and was not afraid to let it be known. She was a woman who had definite feelings of what she expected from you. If you failed to fulfill those expectations, she was not afraid to let you know.
Grandchildren told of conversations on growing up, marriage, politics, trips they had taken together, and times when she had reminded them that there is a right way to live and that the right way was what assumed you would want as we. We remembered how she had encouraged all of us to do our best, to carry our own weight, and exert whatever effort necessary to make sure we reached or exceeded our potential.
Nana supported causes and people she believed in. When a need seemed insurmountable or too big to handle, she found a way, or manufactured one. She was a faithful wife and a devoted mother. She was loving grandmother, great-grandmother, church member, neighbor, and friend.
As the wife,of a university professors wife for almost fifty years, Nana displayed her extensive wisdom and strength with dignity, and grace. She finished her life in the same manner. Lingering longer than anyone expected or could predict, she spend her last days in the place she wanted, in the manner she wanted, and with the people she wanted.
For almost forty-two years I have been the recipient of her unconditional and unreserved love. I could not have ever imagined a better mother-in-law. Through the years we talked about the trivial things of life, and we talked about some of the most serious things. She encouraged me as a preacher, as husband, as a father, as a grandfather, as a writer, as a christian man, and she always considered me to be a much better person than I could ever possibly be. She loved me, and I loved her. I will miss her. All who knew her will miss her.
Paul’s words describe Nana’s current status very well. “For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time for my departure is near. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.” (2 Timothy 4:6-8, NIV)
Thank you, Nana for loving us and letting us know and love you. I hope that in your new dwelling place you have finally had that conversation with my mother that you’ve always wanted to have.
Tom
A Norvell Note © Copyright 2015. Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved.