Vol. 20 No. 09 | February 26, 2018
It has been a week of reflection. Spending time in reflection is fairly normal for me, but this week my meditations proved to be more deliberate.
I’ve reflected on things that are going on around me at any given moment: people that cross my path, the sounds I hear, the changes in the weather and seasons, the coffee in my cup, and the next task on my ‘to do’ list.
I’ve reflected on the events happening in the lives of my family, especially the two new grandbabies about to make their first public appearances.
I’ve reflected on the changes that are taking place in and around me, with and without my input or approval.
I’ve reflected on the blessings I’ve received and receive daily. And I’ve reflected on what often feels like a distant silence from God.
All of these times of reflection have left me with souvenirs and also with the realization:
I am in control of almost nothing.
This is a good reminder for me. You see, there are times when the effort to control consumes me- not necessarily to feel powerful, more to not feel powerless.
The outcome of my decisions and plans I make are dependent on me. Or are they? The weather is beyond my control. What people do is beyond my control. Tragedies and illnesses are beyond my control.
The truth is, knowing I’m not in control can actually be liberating. I have learned to appreciate the statement I first heard from a young co-worker: “Not my circus; not my monkeys.”
But at the same time, I often have the desire to run the circus and make sure the monkeys behave.
So, I have to remind myself, the world can and will carry on without my interference.
I’ve discovered there are two sides to this. I am glad that the earth continues to spin when I’m healthy and when I’m sick. I’m glad the world around me is not dependent on my wisdom, knowledge and strength. The world was created long before I arrived. And unless the Lord chooses to stop it, it will continue to operate after I am gone.
However, in times of reflection, I wonder what I’ve contributed and if anyone has noticed my presence. And without fail, when I start to dwell in the land of what about me, the Lord always sends a pleasant reminder at just the right time, in just the right way: my life does have meaning.
I can do nothing to change the past; I can do nothing about things that may or may not happen in the future; and living in the present, doing what I can to make the world a better place, is all I need to be concerned about.
This simple yet profound truth, at least for the moment, relieves me from the pressure of controlling circumstances and people and the future. It helps me accept the fact that I’m not the center of the universe and helps me remember: “There is a God and I am not Him.” (Father Cavanugh to Rudy)
This frees me to do what I can to make the world a better place. I can love people as unconditionally as possible. I can listen to people. I can live a simple, quiet life. I can be kind and gentle. I can write a few words each week and pray they find their way into the heart of someone who needs them. I can gain as much wisdom as I can and share it when it is appropriate. I can change the things I can change and accept those I cannot.
This week of reflection has come to a close. And as I relish in my collection of souvenirs, I realize that another time of reflection will begin.
In the meantime, it’s time to live the abundant life I’ve been given, to love my neighbors and to serve the Lord faithfully to the end.
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