A Norvell Note

September 28, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 36

Listening To God

It is inappropriate to end a series of articles on listening without addressing the importance of listening to God. 

Jesus said, “Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.” (Mark 4:9, Luke 8:8, 14:35)

We all have ears; some of us hear better than others, but Jesus did not qualify his statement, “Whoever has good ears, let them hear.” He said Whoever has ears, let them hear.” In my view, our primary responsibility is to listen to the Lord. 

When a tragedy occurs, we may question God. “Where were you when this happened? Why did you do this?” “Why did you let this happen?” The questions are fine, ask them, God can handle them. 

Then, after the questions, listen. When you are reading God’s word, listen. As you listen to music, listen for Him. When you sit by the ocean, in the mountains, or lie on your bed in the middle of the night, listen. The Lord has been listening to your questions and is also listening to your heart. Even when you don’t hear Him, keep listening. He is still listening to you.

I cannot promise you that God will one day answer your questions or explain why things happened as they happened. I have questions that the Lord has helped me understand; I have other questions that I probably will never understand. I trust that He knows me and will do what is best for me. 

One question I ask the Lord when I do not understand His way is this: What do You want me to learn from this? He usually responds with this: “Tom, I know it is hard to endure the silence, trust me. I will show you what you need to know. Trust me with the rest. I love you and I have you.”

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

September 21, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 35

Listening: To Others and Ourselves

I’ve spent a lot of time over the last two weeks thinking about listening, writing about listening, and talking about listening with people who have read my words on listening. And I have spent quite a bit of time trying to listen. 

Listening to sermons, podcasts, music, people, and the news. One of the benefits of listening is that you learn about people, their dreams, their failures, and their struggles. When you understand them, you may know how they feel about world, national, and local events. When you listen and learn these things, you can respond to and care for them more effectively. 

While listening to podcasts and the news, I gain information. Some is good, some is bad. Some is true, some is untrue. Some news is encouraging, while other news discourages me, angers me, and makes me terribly sad. 

When gathering information, I try to listen to myself. If I don’t listen to and understand what my mind, body, and soul are saying to me, I risk fatigue and burnout. If that happens, I’m of no use to anyone. I must take my own advice. Listening to music, walking, and silence become keys to renewal and recovery. 

Effective listening is a key to good communication in business and personal relationships, but it never happens if we don’t listen to ourselves. Take care of yourself and listen to what your mind, body, heart, and soul are telling you. 

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

September 14, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 34

Lead With Your Ears

Last week I wrote about the importance of listening. This week, I am focusing on healthy ways of listening and some not-so-healthy ways. 

In the New Testament James wrote, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” (James 1:19-20, NIV) “Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue.” (The Message)

With “lead with your ears” as a foundational communication principle, let’s consider some Dos and Don’ts for listening.  

Don’t

Don’t assume you have all the answers. If possible, don’t assume anything about the other person or the purpose of the conversation other than that you are about to have a conversation. Lead with your ears.

Don’t go into the conversation or argument just waiting for your turn. Maybe you know what the person is going to say, but you may not. Lead with your ears. 

Don’t enter the conversation expecting a fight. Lower your defenses. Be calm. Be open. Lead with your ears.

Don’t listen just to get to your turn to talk. Pay attention. Lead with your ears.

Don’t interrupt. Let the person finish what they need to say. Lead with your ears.

Don’t be afraid of the silence. Sure, it’s awkward for a bit, but the awkwardness will pass. It is okay to sit in silence. Lead with your ears.

Do

Lead with your ears.

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

September 7, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 33

Just Listen

In 1976, the year Kim and I were married, and before I had a master’s degree in counseling, and long before I had an almost PhD (all but a diploma) in counseling, I read “How to Be a People Helper” (Dr. Gary Collins). On the back cover of that book are these words, 

“Everyone you know has problems, and it’s likely you can help them more than you realize. Think about it! You know that more ‘hurting’ people are helped by friends, relatives, parents, business associates, etc., than are helped by professional counselors. Even the counseling profession is facing that face. It is the objective of this book to help you become a better people helper than you already are; to help you become more sensitive to the feelings, need and pains of the people around you, to help you learn how to deal with ‘people-problem’ crisis; to help you learn how to use the same principles used by professionals I helping people; to help you know when and where to refer people who have problems too serious for you to handle, and to help you to understand how the principles of Christian discipleship are the basis for this total process.”

Almost fifty years later, I’m trying to learn to be a better people helper. 

Thanks to people helpers in my life – Jesus, friends, teachers, professors, family members, and long-distance mentors – I’ve learned a lot since 1976. I do not remember if Dr. Collins said this in his book or not, but probably the more important thing I’ve learned about helping people is this: just listen. 

Just listen. Listen to the words, their eyes, their silences, and their hearts. A part of the listening process is understanding that I cannot fix them, change them, or take away their pain. Jesus can, but I cannot. But I can listen. 

I cannot take away the sadness of a 90-year-old man who cannot understand why He is still here when he says, “I can’t do anything anymore.” I cannot change the fact that an 83-year-old lady feels angry and estranged from her son and daughter-in-law. But I can listen. 

I cannot undo what being married to a narcissistic husband for forty years did to the 91-year-old woman who, though much healthier now than she was then, still weeps as she shares her story. But I can listen. 

I cannot heal the friends who have been diagnosed with cancer, nor the friend who sobs as he describes what is going on with his family and the feelings of helplessness.

Although I often wish I could ease the grief in people who have suffered from church abuse, are devastated by the loss of a spouse or a child, or a relationship, or a teenager is trying to understand who she is. I cannot do that, but I can listen. 

Like Job’s friends, I find that I’m much more effective at helping people when I sit with them and just listen. I have learned that, as Solomon said, “a time to be silent and a time to listen.” When I need help, usually that’s what I want: someone who will just listen. 

Do you want to help someone you love? Start by listening to them.  

Just listen.

Tom

I love you.

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved