A Norvell Note 

February 8 – Vol. 30 No. 05

Not How I Planned It

The snow did not come as predicted. The article was not finished. The medical test results were not as clear as we had hoped. The marriage did not survive. The child chose a different path than what we hoped, then moved back home. You said things or did something that you wish you could take back. Your candidate did not win. The dream job turned out to be a nightmare. We lost the game. The friendship turned toxic. The church was cold and full of cliques.

That’s not how I planned it.

Disappointment. David Jeremiah describes disappointment as “an unavoidable part of living—whether it stems from others’ failures or your own.” To avoid it, we will have to withdraw from living. Most will agree there are better options. Life does not always go according to our plans, so how do we deal with it? 

Try to see the disappointment from God’s perspective. He is in control, whether it seems that way or not. Spend time expressing your sadness and frustration. He is aware of it and understands it. Ask for His help in dealing with the disappointment, and accept it when it comes. That will not take all the pain away, but it prevents you from getting sidetracked from your sense of purpose. 

Ask God what He wants you to learn from the experience. There’s always something to learn. God’s lesson may be as simple and difficult as, “Keep trusting Me.” 

Move on. Grieve the loss, but don’t wallow in your grief longer than you need to. Acknowledge it and do what you need to do – seek help, be honest with your grief – but don’t quit. Search for another church. Be open to new relationships. Ask for forgiveness. Offer forgiveness. Keep living a good life. 

I try to be hopeful. If the weather forecaster says it’s going to snow (or, with our dry conditions, rain), I get my hopes up. When it does not happen, I get disappointed. Suppose someone makes a promise, I tend to believe them. If they fail to keep the promise, I am disappointed, sometimes angry, and always sad. When I mess up, I am disappointed, often angry, and always sad.

Life is not always going to go as we plan or hope. I have learned that life’s disappointments are only if I get bitter and quit trying to learn from them and stop trying to improve the life God wants me to live. 

“The thief (maybe disappointment) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10, NIV)

Keep living the full life God has planned for you. 

I love you.

Tom

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