A Norvell Note

September 14, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 34

Lead With Your Ears

Last week I wrote about the importance of listening. This week, I am focusing on healthy ways of listening and some not-so-healthy ways. 

In the New Testament James wrote, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” (James 1:19-20, NIV) “Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue.” (The Message)

With “lead with your ears” as a foundational communication principle, let’s consider some Dos and Don’ts for listening.  

Don’t

Don’t assume you have all the answers. If possible, don’t assume anything about the other person or the purpose of the conversation other than that you are about to have a conversation. Lead with your ears.

Don’t go into the conversation or argument just waiting for your turn. Maybe you know what the person is going to say, but you may not. Lead with your ears. 

Don’t enter the conversation expecting a fight. Lower your defenses. Be calm. Be open. Lead with your ears.

Don’t listen just to get to your turn to talk. Pay attention. Lead with your ears.

Don’t interrupt. Let the person finish what they need to say. Lead with your ears.

Don’t be afraid of the silence. Sure, it’s awkward for a bit, but the awkwardness will pass. It is okay to sit in silence. Lead with your ears.

Do

Lead with your ears.

I love you.

Tom

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