A Norvell Note

December 7, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 46

Maybe It’s Not Your Fault

“There’s a certain peace that shows up when you stop turning every inconvenience into a personal failure. Sometimes things go wrong because life is messy – not because you’re doing anything wrong. Once that clicks, the world feels a lot less hostile.” (Unknown) 

Stuff happens. We make mistakes. We all mess up. We all get it wrong sometimes. When you do something wrong, admit it and take responsibility. But it is not healthy for you to assume that you’re doing anything wrong. 

There is no reason for you to believe that getting sick or having a medical condition is somehow your fault.

If your school calls to tell you that your child is sick, it’s not your fault; they were not ill when you dropped them off.

There is no reason for you to internalize layoffs, rejected proposals, or shifts in company direction. 

There is no need for you to feel responsible when someone else is upset, angry, or disappointed, even if you don’t cause their feelings.

Don’t blame yourself for situations like someone spilling a drink near you or a power outage ruining your plans.

Don’t assume that every argument, breakup, or friendship drift is because you did something wrong.

Why should you feel guilty when a child struggles in school, or a family member is having a hard time, if it’s outside your control?

Sometimes we miss opportunities, but blaming yourself for not being in the right place at the right time, as if you could have predicted or controlled everything, does not help.

Recognizing these tendencies can help you separate what is truly your responsibility from what is simply life being messy.

“By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything. “(1 John 3:19-20 (ESV)

I love you, 

Tom

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