TomNorvell – A Norvell Note

You Don’t Have to Act So Tough

A Norvell Note

January 26, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 04

You Don’t Have to Act So Tough

Life lesson: You don’t have to act so tough.

We see athletes demonstrate their toughness when they sack the quarterback, monster dunk over the defender, power one over the fence and out of the park, or deliver the knockout punch. “Look at me. I’m strong. I’m tough. You may think you are tough, but I’m tougher!” (After I typed those words, opposing players were face mask to face mask in a heated discussion, and the two teams were going at each other in the end zone.)

You don’t have to act so tough.

Advertisers try to convince us their product can make us stronger, bigger, brighter, sexier, more intelligent, and meaner than anyone else. Politicians, business tycoons, and attorneys often promote themselves as the best at destroying the enemy.

Displaying our toughness with verbal abuse and physical prowess is one way of gaining influence and power. But there is an alternative.

Jesus said, Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. (Matthew 5:5)

“You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.” (The Message)

“Blessed [inwardly peaceful, spiritually secure, worthy of respect] are the gentle [the kind-hearted, the sweet-spirited, the self-controlled], for they will inherit the earth.” (The Amplified Version)

“For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.” (Romans 12:5)

“Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.” (Philippians 4:5)

You don’t have to act so tough.

It’s Okay to Grieve

January 19, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 03

It’s Okay to Grieve

Another life lesson I’ve learned is that it’s okay to grieve.

We live in a world where we are encouraged to rejoice, be happy, and avoid sadness. We urge each other to look forward and let go of the past. I’ve told myself these things, taught them, preached about them, and written on them. I believe they are true. To grow in the Lord, we must “forget the past and press on to our goal.”

I also firmly believe that it is okay to grieve.

There are moments when moving forward necessitates mourning. It seems that hardly a day passes without us facing some form of loss: a date gets canceled, a friend cancels an appointment, you damage your favorite shirt in the laundry, your team loses the playoff game, or the anticipated snowfall arrives, leading to the closure of schools and businesses. Schools and businesses stay open for the day when the predicted snowfall veers away from your area. It’s perfectly okay to take some time to grieve the disappointment.

There are more significant losses that require us to spend time grieving: the death of a friend or relative, the loss of a job, the lab results not what you hoped for, your loved one has been gone for years, but you are still grieving, a relationship ending, a church disappointing you, your sin reminds you that you have failed, or you are moving far from your community of friends.

Jesus said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”

Are you grieving? It’s okay. Are you sad? It’s okay. You don’t want to mourn longer than is healthy, but it’s okay if you need to grieve.

It’s Okay to Ask for Help

A Norvell Note

January 15, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 02

It’s Okay to Ask for Help

One of life’s fundamental principles is that asking for help is acceptable.

It is okay to ask for help. We live in a world that paints the opposite picture. “Be strong.” “Don’t let them see you struggle.” “Don’t let anyone see that you are hurting.” Yet, we constantly face the reality that we are not always strong; sometimes, we struggle and are often hurting. Regardless of what the world tells us, it is okay to ask for help.

Sometimes, we need help in our work, in our marriage, as parents, and in our spiritual walk. We may know what to do, but we may need help. Ask for help. It’s okay.

Every spiritual journey begins by saying, “I need help. I can’t do this on my own.” “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 5:3)

Every twelve-step program begins with the admission that I cannot overcome this problem alone. “I need help.”

We sometimes need help mentally, physically, and spiritually. It’s okay to ask for help.

I cannot nor will I attempt to predict the future, but I believe that even though we are already living in very stressful times, the days ahead will be worse. More stress. More anxiety. More feelings of being overwhelmed. If true, we will need help to survive and thrive in the coming days.

It’s okay to ask for help.

That You Know Him

A Norvell Note

January 5, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 01

That You Know Him

My prayer for you as this new year begins is the same as Jesus prayed for us all.

“Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.” (John 17:3)

This year, I pray you will come to know Him like you have never known Him. I pray you will know “how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.”

I pray you will come to know Him, not just know about Him.

I pray you will come to know how much He loves you.

I pray you will learn how much He has done for you and what He wants to do for you.

I pray you will accept His grace and mercy.

I pray you will allow Him to fill you with His Spirit and allow His Spirit to flow from you.

I pray you will come to know Him.

The Worthy Goal

A Norvell Note

December 29, 2024, Vol. 28 No. 50

The Worthy Goal

We are almost there—the end of one year, the beginning of another. There have been times of testing and destress, celebration and peace, victory and defeat. Regardless of what has happened, this is a good time to start over.

Some will vow to lose weight, stop using foul language, exercise more, and look for a new job—all worthy goals. However, many made the same vows a year ago and will make the same vows a year from now. Let me suggest a more worthy goal.

“I’m not saying that I have this all together; I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.”^[1]

Consider this as a more worthy goal.

We are not there yet.

Just as many of us did not achieve the goals we planned for this year, and the writer of Philippians did not reach his goal, we are not there yet. Life has gotten in our way. We have made mistakes and excuses and ignored the goals we set. So, we have not reached this worthy goal. But…

We are on our way with our eyes on the goal.

We know where we are going, and we are moving forward. The worthy goal is still in front of us, and we are moving toward it. We may need to repeat our resolve to reach our goal, but we are moving closer to it than we were a year ago. That is a good thing.

Jesus is our goal.

Let there be no confusion; our goal is Jesus. To know Him (John 17) Our goal is to be like Him. Refer to Philippians 2 for His attitude. And His spirit (see Galatians 5) and His love (John 13). He is our goal.

We are not turning back.

We have not and will not quit. We are keeping our eyes on Jesus (Hebrews 12:1-3). We are not there yet but moving closer to Him and becoming more like Him.

You may already have set excellent goals for the coming year. But if your goal is not to become more like Jesus, please reconsider and choose a more worthy goal. Leave this year’s stuff behind and move forward to be like Jesus.

I hope 2024 ends well and 2025 begins and continues well all year.

^[1] The Message, Philippians 3:12-14

Christmas Reunion

A Norvell Note

December 22, 2024, Vol. 28 No. 50

Christmas Reunions

I watched a news story about sailors arriving home for Christmas leave. The sailors lined up shoulder to shoulder on the deck of their ship, waving to the crowd until they were permitted to celebrate and reunite with their families. Children ran to hug their mom or dad. One little boy hugged his dad and said, “I love you, Daddy.” It was quite an emotional scene.

Other reunions will occur this week as families travel long distances to make it home for the holidays. Some may panic due to heavy traffic and delayed flights, wondering if they will get home on time. Hopefully, they will arrive safely and on schedule for the celebration. You are one of the travelers eager to get home. You can’t wait to see the faces and hug the necks of your loved ones.

As emotional and touching as these scenes are, some families will feel sad because their loved ones are not there. Death, travel delays, illness, work responsibilities, and family disputes can dampen some festivities. However, this will not be the case at the ultimate reunion, where there will be no tears—except tears of joy, because we have finally made it home.

Enjoy your Christmas reunion. Celebrate your family and friends.

A Gift That Lasts

A Norvell Note

December 15, 2024, Vol. 28 No. 49

A Gift That Lasts

One of my favorite Jesus stories is found in John 21. Jesus has died, been buried, and risen from the grave. He has visited with the disciples, restored Peter to the fold, enjoyed a meal with them, given them instructions, and is now moving forward. Jesus walks with Peter and discusses the future and how Peter will die.

Peter sees John and asks Jesus, “What about him?” Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.”

My modern interpretation of what Jesus meant when he said, “You must follow me,” is, “Stay in your lane, bro.” He may not have considered this then, but I think Jesus gave him a gift that He knew he would need—a gift that would last.

“Stay in your lane.” “Be you.” “You follow me.” “Don’t concern yourself with what I ask or don’t ask others to do.”

The gift Jesus gave Peter is also available to you and me. Staying in my lane makes my life much easier. I must be me, not someone else.

This is true in our work, how we participate in our churches, and how we function in our family. Be you. Let others be them.

Not only is being you a lasting gift we have been given, but it is also a gift we can give to others, and then they can give it to someone else.

Enjoy the gift of being you and share the gift that lasts.

It’s Been Sixty Years

A Norvell Note

December 8, 2024, Vol. 28 No. 48

It’s Been Sixty Years

Sixty years ago today, my mother died. That was 21,900 days ago. I was eleven years old. Very few of those days have not included an image or thought about her. Today is undoubtedly one of those days.

There are days when I have trouble remembering her face and voice, days when I long to see her face and hear her voice again, days when I wish I could sit with her and talk about life and world events, and days when I’m glad she is beyond this life and free from world events.

There are days when I think I should have moved beyond the grief, days when the grief weighs me down, and days when I feel I have moved beyond it. Then, there are days when I wonder if I processed the grief at all.

Sometimes, I ponder what my life would have been like had my mother not died when she was forty-four. Would I have gone to Arkansas State University in 1970? Would I have responded to the Lord’s call into the ministry, or would I have chosen a profession that would have kept me closer to home?

I often wonder what she would think of my wife, children, and grandchildren. And what would they think of her? What would she think of the life I am living?

I have thought about my mother a lot today, as I do every December 8, 9, and 10. Some of my thoughts were sad, but mostly, I thought about how those eleven years with her have shaped my life and how grateful I am for how her short life continues to teach me the value of living life to the fullest by loving God and loving people. My mother has been gone for sixty years, but she lives on in my mind and my heart.

Laments of the Season

A Norvell Note

December 1, 2024, Vol. 28 No. 47

Laments of the Season

Like most of you, I spent at least part of last week counting my blessings and naming reasons to be thankful. I also spent some time lamenting^[i].

I did not spend much time lamenting, but I did remember, grieve, and mourn. Some of it was intentional, and some just came naturally.

I remembered holidays of the past. The people present. The places we spent the holiday—the meals we enjoyed and the conversations we shared.

I grieved for people who are no longer with us and those who could not be with us. Some years are easier than others, but this holiday was challenging.

I mourned the condition of our nation, the anger, the sadness, the fearmongering, and the hatred.

I remembered I grieved, and I mourned the life that was and will be no more.

Then, the moment’s reality reminded me to be thankful again for the people with me and the life that is.

^[i] A lament or lamentation is a passionate expression of grief, often in music, poetry, or song form. The grief is most often born of regret, or mourning. Laments can also be expressed in a verbal manner in which participants lament about something that they regret or someone that they have lost, and they are usually accompanied by wailing, moaning and/or crying. Laments constitute some of the oldest forms of writing, and examples exist across human cultures.

Different Thanksgiving Days

A Norvell Note

November 24, 2024, Vol. 28 No. 46

Different Thanksgiving Days

This week begins with me looking forward to the family gathering on Thanksgiving Day. There will be good food and conversation, children enjoying the day and getting frustrated when things do not go their way, laughter, and possibly tears. We will share memories, photographs, plans, and reasons to be thankful.

I am looking forward to Thanksgiving Day, but I am also thinking about families who will have a different experience. I know two wives who will have an empty chair at their table.

Some families will be together physically but miles apart emotionally.

Other families will sit at the same table sharing memories, but the grandmother will not recognize their faces or understand their stories.

Some families will share the day through long-distance phone calls or video chats due to their military service.

Some will celebrate, and some will mourn. Some people will share their blessings, and some will live through another holiday of pain and regret.

We are all different, going through life at various speeds, directions, and paths. Our Thanksgiving Days will not be the same, but I will pray the same prayer for us all: May we find love, joy, peace, and many reasons to be thankful.

Author: TomNorvell

You Don’t Have to Act So Tough

It’s Okay to Grieve

It’s Okay to Ask for Help

That You Know Him

The Worthy Goal

Christmas Reunion

A Gift That Lasts

It’s Been Sixty Years

Laments of the Season

Different Thanksgiving Days

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