Author: TomNorvell

  A Norvell Note

Vol. 27 No. 25                              For the week of June 26, 2023

Bringing Kindness to Our Relationships

We are hearing and reading a lot about kindness. The loss of kindness. The need for kindness. The value of kindness. And the desire to return to a time when kindness was every day. If we are to see a revival of a kinder world, it will begin with you, and I treat our family, friends, work associates, and strangers with kindness. 

I offer these as simple suggestions for bringing more kindness into our relationships.  

Listen. Listen first. Listen intently. Listen often. Listen without distractions. 

Call when you say you will. Visit when you say you will. Show up when you say you will. If you are running late, let your friends know. Be there when you need to. 

Do what you say you will. Be dependable. 

Say what you need to say, then stop.

Jesus said, “All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” (Matthew 5:37)

I think these actions of kindness will improve our relationships and make our part of the world a better place. However, we won’t know until we try. 

Tom

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  A Norvell Note

Vol. 27 No. 24                                     For the week of June 11, 2023

No More Goodbyes

I long for the day when I don’t have to say goodbye. 

I try to live and stay in the present, but the moments always end. I love my friends and family so much that it hurts when I am away from them, and I do my best to enjoy every moment I have with them. But time with them is never enough. 

I read Revelation 21:4 and try to imagine what it will be like when “He will wipe every tear from their (our) eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” 

I try to imagine it but can only long for a day when I won’t have to say goodbye to my children, grandchildren, extended family, and friends. I can only long for the day when I don’t hear that another friend has died, attend another funeral, or hug someone, not knowing when or if I’ll ever see them again. 

I long for the day when there will be no more goodbyes. I don’t know what that will be like because goodbyes always come. Time with the people I love always comes to an end. Time together with family is never long enough. 

Father, forgive me for being discontent with the times you allowed me to be with my family and friends. I know You have them in Your loving arms and that You are with them when I am not. Thank you for putting them in my life, for the time I have had with them, and for the times I will have with them in this life and the next. I am grateful, but I still long for the day when I don’t have to say goodbye. 

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2023 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

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Vol. 27 No. 23                                                       June 5, 2023

No Phone

While on vacation this week, my phone stopped working. It froze, and I could not get into it to do anything. I found someone to repair it, but in the meantime, I am on an island with no way to capture the scenic images around me. I have other tools that enable me to communicate with people when needed, but it’s not the same. However, I see some benefits. 

Not having a camera forces me to stay in the moment. Instead of trying to capture the moment of the moon reflecting off the ocean, I could watch it in real time. Instead of being concerned about saving the moment for the future, I simply enjoyed the moment. 

Instead of being concerned about catching the smile on one of my granddaughter’s faces, I simply enjoyed being close enough to see the smiles. 

Being camera-less allows me to focus on the ocean breeze, the waves crashing to the shore, and the sun setting over the mountains behind me. Instead of trying to preserve the moment, I enjoy the moment. 

Not having my phone in my pocket keeps me focused on the people right in front of me instead of our conversation being interrupted or diverted by the vibration or the ding from my phone. 

Don’t misunderstand; I am not anti-device. On the contrary, I appreciate the devices that make it possible to push a button and send a message, call a friend on the other side of the world, or press another button and share these Notes. The technological tools we have at our disposal are greatly appreciated, but the people I love and the world God has created are more important. 

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2023 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

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  A Norvell Note

Vol. 27 No. 22                                                       May 30, 2023

We’re Still Doing Life Together

We did life together. We are still doing life together. 

Through the years, we shared meals, celebrated, grieved, laughed, and cried together. We passed through the seasons of life together. 

We shared graduations, weddings, births, and deaths. We shed tears of joy and tears of sorrow. We laugh together. We stay in touch from a long distance. We listen intently for details as we learn of an illness or an upcoming medical procedure. We sigh as we embrace one another, not knowing when or if we will see one another again. 

We hear a song that reminds us of when we were together. We see a cartoon or hear a joke that recalls the times we laughed together. We enjoy a meal that reminds us of when we sat across the table from friends. We smile as we read a text saying, “We love you.” 

We greet each other with hugs, handshakes, and fist pumps. We smile and nod as we glance across the room and speak without words. We sit silently and grieve with one another when we have no words to express our sorrow. Then, we stand and applaud as we share the accomplishments of our children and grandchildren. 

We cannot always be together and don’t stay in touch as much as we promised, but we try. We don’t always remember birthdays, anniversaries, or family celebrations, but we try. We can’t always answer the phone when they call, make it to significant events when they happen, or show up like we wish we could, but we try. 

I am grateful that we are still doing life together through life’s highs and lows, victories and defeats. 

Tom

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  A Norvell Note

Vol. 27 No. 21                                                       May 22, 2023

Show Up

On a recent No Small Endeavor podcast, Lee Camp interviews Father Greg Boyle. These are Lee’s notes on the interview: “In the 80s and 90s, the city of Los Angeles was ravaged by what is now known as the “decade of death,” a period of unprecedented gang violence, peaking at 1,000 killings in 1992 alone. It was in the midst of this unrest, fear, and finger-pointing that Father Greg Boyle became pastor of the poorest Catholic parish in the city, in order to live and work among gang members.” Since that time, he has conducted 250 funerals. 

The theme of the conversation is, “How do you reteach love to a community that society has deemed unlovable?” Boyle’s response, “It’s about showing up it’s not about changing people.”

What an insight!

“It’s about showing up it’s not about changing people.”

“It’s about showing up.” Be there. Listen to them. Hear them. Show them you care about them. Love them when they fail. Love them when they succeed. Love them when they don’t love themselves. 

“It’s not about changing people.” Yes, we want them to improve and correct their mistakes. But we cannot change them, and we need to stop trying. Instead, see them for who they are, accept them for who they are, and let that be enough. 

Jesus showed up. He loved. He taught. He showed them how to live. People changed because they saw something in him that convinced them to live differently. 

Thank you, Greg Boyle, for living like Jesus in your community. 

“It’s about showing up it’s not about changing people.” Let these words shape our lives this week.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2023 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

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  A Norvell Note

Vol. 27 No. 20 

May 15, 2023

The World Didn’t Stop

I admit that sometimes I take myself and what I do too seriously. I remind myself of this verse often. “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.” (Romans 12:3)

Here is an example. Through the years of writing A Norvell Note, I have taken getting an article written and posted on time every week. However, there have been times due to sickness, fatigue, or travel when that did not happen. Unfortunately, that’s what happened this week, so I’m two days late posting this week’s Note.

Guess what? The world did not stop spinning. The sun came up on both days. Most of the world did not notice, nor did it matter. But it matters to me. It is important to me. 

Yes, there are times that I think of myself and what I do as more highly than I ought. So I’m working on that. But when I say I’ll do something, I want to do it right, or at least to the best of my ability. 

There’s another verse that I often repeat to myself. “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.” (Colossians 3:23)

I didn’t expect the world to stop turning or even one person to notice I was late posting an article. I don’t think of myself or what I do that highly. 

However, I am grateful I have something I enjoy and consider important enough to “work at it with all my heart, as working for the Lord.” I hope you do, too, because it changes how you live when you realize you are working for the Lord.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2023 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

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Vol. 27 No. 19 

May 8, 2023

On the Edge of the Inside

Do you ever wonder about your place in the world? Where do you belong? What is your mission? Is there something more than your job or career? I’ve spent much of my life asking those questions. I spent most of my adult years serving in church leadership in one form or another, but that is no longer my role. So instead, I’m learning to be a good church member. 

In my workplace, I am part of the team. I’m far from the head of the company and try to do my best to play my role among the many other team players. Some passages in the New Testament highlight the various parts of the Body of Christ, remind us that we can’t all be the “head,” and emphasize how vital all body parts are. The eyes have their place, the feet do their thing, and the hands have their special place. (Romans 12; 1 Corinthians 12) I’m learning to be a good team player.

I’ve come to appreciate this sentence from Romans 12: “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.”

I also love these words by St. Frances as shared by Richard Rohr in Alternative Orthodoxy, At Home in the World, Friday, June 2, 2017. “Francis wanted us to live a life on the edge of the inside—not at the center or the top, but not outside throwing rocks either. This unique position offers structural freedom and hopefully spiritual freedom, too.”

“Live a life on the edge of the inside—not at the center or the top, but not outside throwing rocks either.” 

I’m doing my best to live and enjoy my life on the edge of the inside. It’s an excellent place to live. 

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2023 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

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Vol. 27 No. 18 

May 1, 2023

Family

After attending a reunion of my mother’s side of the family, I am grateful to be a descendant of Floyd and Agnes Mangum. I understand that all families do not enjoy the level of love and joy that ours has and does, but I cannot pass this opportunity to express my deep gratitude for how God has given me “more than we could “ever ask or imagine.”

We all have had our share of heartbreak, sadness, and disappointment, but the heritage of faith our grandparents lived and passed down to their children continues to live in their grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and hopefully future generations. This foundation has sustained us through deaths, grief, marital successes and failures, spiritual struggles, and the highs and lows of living in this troubled world. 

What is this solid foundation? As one cousin reminded us this past weekend, it is Jesus Christ. I don’t think there are any two of Floyd and Agnes’ successors who practice our faith in Jesus Christ the same way. Some are similar, and some are vastly different. But one common thing to all is the desire to live as much like Jesus as possible. 

And when we come together as we did this past weekend, we embrace, enjoy, and celebrate that it is only by the great mercies of God that we are allowed to experience such a wonderful heritage of love. I love our family, and I pray that I can live my life so that my children, their children, and their children will see the same Jesus and do their best to live as much like Him as possible. 

I also pray that if you have not experienced family life like l have, someday, God will open a door for you to find it. Maybe God is waiting for you to begin the heritage of faith and love that will last for generations. 

Tom

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A Norvell Note

Vol. 27 No. 17 

April 24, 2023

Three More Words on Grief

Grief takes time. 

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2023 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

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A Norvell Note

Vol. 27 No. 15 

April 10, 2023

A Little More on Grief

We will all experience grief at some point. We cannot escape life without it. However, there are unhealthy and healthy ways to deal with grief. 

Unhealthy Ways of Processing Grief

Deny it. 

Do nothing. 

Self-medicate.

Isolate yourself.

Fear it.

Healthy Ways of Processing Grief

Acknowledge it. 

Embrace it. 

Face it. 

Talk about it. 

Seek professional help.

Journaling. 

Exercise.

When you experience a loss, and you will, whether you acknowledge it or not, grief needs to be processed. I encourage you to choose healthy ways to process your grief. Even if you choose healthy ways to process your grief, it is hard, so please choose the more beneficial methods. Then, you can get through it. 

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2023 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved