A Norvell Note

October 12, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 38

Seeing More Clearly

I have worn glasses and contacts for over forty years. I first noticed the need when I had trouble reading road signs while driving. That led to glasses, then later contacts. During annual checkups, my doctors adjusted my prescriptions so I could see clearly at a distance and up close. At my annual checkup a couple of months ago, I heard my doctor say, “We’ve gone as far as we can go. We cannot increase the strength in your contacts or glasses enough to help. We need to think about cataracts.” 

The doctor’s words conveyed both feelings of excitement and dejection. “Yay, no more glasses or contacts.” And “Oh, I’m getting older.” I chose to focus on the “no more glasses or contacts” message and began looking for a doctor to perform the surgery. I have completed the surgeries: first, the right eye for up close, the left for distance. All I can say is “Wow!” My brain is still adjusting to the dual vision, but “Wow!” I had forgotten how blue the sky really is, and how white the clouds are. The flowers and butterflies in our backyard are brighter and more colorful than I remembered. “Wow!”

Not only can I see trees, blue skies, and faces more clearly, but this experience has reminded me that time and aging are helping me see other things more clearly. 

Wants and needs are two different things. I am usually happier when I focus on needs rather than wants. 

Not everyone wants or needs to hear my opinion.

I’m rarely, if ever, the most intelligent person in the room, so I shouldn’t act like I am. 

The more I listen, the better I can understand the person I’m with. 

Being quiet and focusing on God’s love is a good thing. I should do it more often. 

I cannot do everything. So, I shouldn’t beat myself up when I fail or make a mistake.

Relationships work better when I don’t assume what you are thinking or feeling.

I cannot change people. I should stop trying. 

I can only change myself. I should work more on myself. 

I cannot relive yesterday, and I cannot live tomorrow; I can only live today. And today I am grateful that my cataract surgery has noticeably improved my vision and is reminding me to appreciate the people and the beauty of the world more vividly. 

Seeing more clearly is a good thing. 

You are loved

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

October 4, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 37

Do Not Be Afraid

I hear the Lord say, “Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Be strong and courageous.”

Lord, I’m trying. 

I’m trying, but sometimes it isn’t easy. 

It’s not easy when I hear that there has been another mass shooting. 

It’s not easy when I see how the laws of the land, and especially the laws of God, are being ignored and misused.

It’s hard not to be discouraged when children are dying of starvation all around the world. 

It’s not easy to stay encouraged when women and children are disrespected, abused, and their stories ignored. 

“Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Be strong and courageous.”

Lord, I’m trying, but it’s hard to be strong and courageous when we live in a culture saturated with fear and negativity. 

Lord, I’m trying, and it helps when I meditate on your words:  “Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Be strong and courageous.” And remembering that you love me. 

Lord, it’s not easy, but I’m trying. 

You are loved

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

September 28, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 36

Listening To God

It is inappropriate to end a series of articles on listening without addressing the importance of listening to God. 

Jesus said, “Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.” (Mark 4:9, Luke 8:8, 14:35)

We all have ears; some of us hear better than others, but Jesus did not qualify his statement, “Whoever has good ears, let them hear.” He said Whoever has ears, let them hear.” In my view, our primary responsibility is to listen to the Lord. 

When a tragedy occurs, we may question God. “Where were you when this happened? Why did you do this?” “Why did you let this happen?” The questions are fine, ask them, God can handle them. 

Then, after the questions, listen. When you are reading God’s word, listen. As you listen to music, listen for Him. When you sit by the ocean, in the mountains, or lie on your bed in the middle of the night, listen. The Lord has been listening to your questions and is also listening to your heart. Even when you don’t hear Him, keep listening. He is still listening to you.

I cannot promise you that God will one day answer your questions or explain why things happened as they happened. I have questions that the Lord has helped me understand; I have other questions that I probably will never understand. I trust that He knows me and will do what is best for me. 

One question I ask the Lord when I do not understand His way is this: What do You want me to learn from this? He usually responds with this: “Tom, I know it is hard to endure the silence, trust me. I will show you what you need to know. Trust me with the rest. I love you and I have you.”

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

September 21, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 35

Listening: To Others and Ourselves

I’ve spent a lot of time over the last two weeks thinking about listening, writing about listening, and talking about listening with people who have read my words on listening. And I have spent quite a bit of time trying to listen. 

Listening to sermons, podcasts, music, people, and the news. One of the benefits of listening is that you learn about people, their dreams, their failures, and their struggles. When you understand them, you may know how they feel about world, national, and local events. When you listen and learn these things, you can respond to and care for them more effectively. 

While listening to podcasts and the news, I gain information. Some is good, some is bad. Some is true, some is untrue. Some news is encouraging, while other news discourages me, angers me, and makes me terribly sad. 

When gathering information, I try to listen to myself. If I don’t listen to and understand what my mind, body, and soul are saying to me, I risk fatigue and burnout. If that happens, I’m of no use to anyone. I must take my own advice. Listening to music, walking, and silence become keys to renewal and recovery. 

Effective listening is a key to good communication in business and personal relationships, but it never happens if we don’t listen to ourselves. Take care of yourself and listen to what your mind, body, heart, and soul are telling you. 

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

September 14, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 34

Lead With Your Ears

Last week I wrote about the importance of listening. This week, I am focusing on healthy ways of listening and some not-so-healthy ways. 

In the New Testament James wrote, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” (James 1:19-20, NIV) “Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue.” (The Message)

With “lead with your ears” as a foundational communication principle, let’s consider some Dos and Don’ts for listening.  

Don’t

Don’t assume you have all the answers. If possible, don’t assume anything about the other person or the purpose of the conversation other than that you are about to have a conversation. Lead with your ears.

Don’t go into the conversation or argument just waiting for your turn. Maybe you know what the person is going to say, but you may not. Lead with your ears. 

Don’t enter the conversation expecting a fight. Lower your defenses. Be calm. Be open. Lead with your ears.

Don’t listen just to get to your turn to talk. Pay attention. Lead with your ears.

Don’t interrupt. Let the person finish what they need to say. Lead with your ears.

Don’t be afraid of the silence. Sure, it’s awkward for a bit, but the awkwardness will pass. It is okay to sit in silence. Lead with your ears.

Do

Lead with your ears.

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

September 7, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 33

Just Listen

In 1976, the year Kim and I were married, and before I had a master’s degree in counseling, and long before I had an almost PhD (all but a diploma) in counseling, I read “How to Be a People Helper” (Dr. Gary Collins). On the back cover of that book are these words, 

“Everyone you know has problems, and it’s likely you can help them more than you realize. Think about it! You know that more ‘hurting’ people are helped by friends, relatives, parents, business associates, etc., than are helped by professional counselors. Even the counseling profession is facing that face. It is the objective of this book to help you become a better people helper than you already are; to help you become more sensitive to the feelings, need and pains of the people around you, to help you learn how to deal with ‘people-problem’ crisis; to help you learn how to use the same principles used by professionals I helping people; to help you know when and where to refer people who have problems too serious for you to handle, and to help you to understand how the principles of Christian discipleship are the basis for this total process.”

Almost fifty years later, I’m trying to learn to be a better people helper. 

Thanks to people helpers in my life – Jesus, friends, teachers, professors, family members, and long-distance mentors – I’ve learned a lot since 1976. I do not remember if Dr. Collins said this in his book or not, but probably the more important thing I’ve learned about helping people is this: just listen. 

Just listen. Listen to the words, their eyes, their silences, and their hearts. A part of the listening process is understanding that I cannot fix them, change them, or take away their pain. Jesus can, but I cannot. But I can listen. 

I cannot take away the sadness of a 90-year-old man who cannot understand why He is still here when he says, “I can’t do anything anymore.” I cannot change the fact that an 83-year-old lady feels angry and estranged from her son and daughter-in-law. But I can listen. 

I cannot undo what being married to a narcissistic husband for forty years did to the 91-year-old woman who, though much healthier now than she was then, still weeps as she shares her story. But I can listen. 

I cannot heal the friends who have been diagnosed with cancer, nor the friend who sobs as he describes what is going on with his family and the feelings of helplessness.

Although I often wish I could ease the grief in people who have suffered from church abuse, are devastated by the loss of a spouse or a child, or a relationship, or a teenager is trying to understand who she is. I cannot do that, but I can listen. 

Like Job’s friends, I find that I’m much more effective at helping people when I sit with them and just listen. I have learned that, as Solomon said, “a time to be silent and a time to listen.” When I need help, usually that’s what I want: someone who will just listen. 

Do you want to help someone you love? Start by listening to them.  

Just listen.

Tom

I love you.

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

August 31, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 32

Not Enough

“Thoughts and prayers are not enough.” We’ve heard those words once again in Minneapolis, a shooter killed two children and injured eighteen others while they were singing and praying in what should be the safety of their school and church. We must do something.

I agree, thoughts and prayers are not enough, but at least it is a start. So, let’s start there. 

Remind parents who drop their children off at school or put them on a bus in the morning, you are thinking about them and praying for them and their children. Then, really pray for them to be kept safe and to return home safely at the end of the day. Remind them often that you are thinking about them and praying for them.

Take the time to think about and research ways to improve things. When you see a school that provides a safe and secure environment where children and teachers can work, learn, and play without fear, compliment them on their system. When you see one that lacks a security system, encourage them to make improvements.  

I’m not suggesting protests in the street or banning weapons and firearms, but I am suggesting that we use good common sense on how we sell weapons to whom we sell them. Parents, grandparents, friends, pay attention to what’s going on around you. If you notice something that looks out of place, please speak up. 

If you hold a position of leadership in the community, use your influence and authority to promote positive change and reduce the angry rhetoric that is so prevalent in our culture.

Obviously, we have not yet found a foolproof security system, and perhaps there is no perfect system, but we can strive to do better. Let’s think, let’s pray, let’s do something. Let’s do whatever it takes to protect our children and help them feel safe.

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

August 24, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 31

The Voice of My Heart

Sometimes when I am writing, I get stuck. My mind is full of thoughts and images of people and situations, but I cannot transfer those thoughts and images to paper, a computer screen, or verbal expressions. I sip my coffee, pray for words, pause, and look around the room. I listen to music, maybe pet the cat, stare out the window, and wait. Usually, the words come.

The same thing often happens when I am praying. Faces and places hover above, around, and inside me. So, I sit quietly with my thoughts and pray, “Father, hear what’s in my heart.” He does.  

Fernando Ortega sings, “I prayed with the voice of my heart. And He heard my cry.” (I Stretched Out My Hands)

While gathered with people I love and long to be with, we have sung, Listen to Our Hearts. I’m confident He has. 

While sitting with a troubled soul or standing in a room with a family trying to make sense of the passing of a loved one, I remind them and myself of these words. “Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our expectant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.” (Romans 8:26-28, The Message)

Father, thank You for understanding when we don’t have words and for listening to the voice of our hearts. 

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

August 17, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 30

Where Can We Go

Father, 

I watched the reports of the search and rescue efforts as the floodwaters rose quickly and more powerfully than anyone in the Texas Hill Country had ever seen.

I waited anxiously for word that our children had reached high ground and were safe at a friend’s home during the tsunami warning. 

I watch story after story of gunmen who enter buildings and open fire on unsuspecting coworkers and innocent bystanders. 

I see the destruction caused by tornadoes, hurricanes, fires, explosions, train derailments, and all manner of other accidents that create havoc and change lives forever. 

I shake my head in disbelief at the actions, inaction, and consequences of the decisions made by political and world leaders.

I watch, I listen, I sit in silence and grieve, and I ask, where can we go to be safe?

Then, I remember Your words. 

John 16:33, “I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.”

Nahum 1:7, “The Lord is good,
    a refuge in times of trouble.
He cares for those who trust in him,”

Psalm 46:10-11a, “Attention, all! See the marvels of God!
    He plants flowers and trees all over the earth,
Bans war from pole to pole,
    breaks all the weapons across his knee.
“Step out of the traffic! Take a long,
    loving look at me, your High God,
    above politics, above everything.” (The Message)

¹¹     The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.” (NIV)

Psalm 139: 7-12, 23-24, “Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
    to be out of your sight?
If I climb to the sky, you’re there!
    If I go underground, you’re there!
If I flew on morning’s wings
    to the far western horizon,
You’d find me in a minute—
    you’re already there waiting!
Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
    At night I’m immersed in the light!”
It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you;
    night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.”

“Investigate my life, O God,
    find out everything about me;
Cross-examine and test me,
    get a clear picture of what I’m about;
See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong—
    then guide me on the road to eternal life.”

Philippians 4:5-9, “Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”

Father, I watch, I listen, I sit in silence and grieve, and I find comfort in knowing that You are our safe place. Our only truly safe place. 

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

August 11, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 29

At Just the Right Time

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷ Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person, someone might possibly dare to die. (Romans 6:6-7)

At just the right time. 

There are no words to adequately express how much those five words mean to all who acknowledge the gift of eternal life at just the right time. He gave His life for us at just the right time, and He continues to help, lead, teach, and show us that He loves us. He does these things at just the right time. 

He puts us in the places at just the right time. He puts us in with people at just the right time. He tells us what to do at just the right time. He reminds us that goodness is within us when we can’t see it at just the right time. He gives us strength when we don’t think we have any, at just the right time. He leads us beside the quiet waters at just the right time. He uses us for His good purposes at just the right time. 

We may not realize it at the time, but if we are not paying attention, we will see that He is with us and for us at just the right time. He always does what He does at just the right time.  

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved