A Norvell Note

November 2, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 41

He Can Handle It

“I’m sorry, but I’m angry with God.” 

I hear that statement quite often. I have listened to it when a loved one is near death or has already passed. People say it after a job opportunity has fallen through, or when life seems to be going in the wrong direction. I have said it myself a few times. 

When I hear that statement, unless the anger sounds like a more profound level of anger, I usually say. “I think God understands that and can handle your anger.” Quite often, the hurting person sitting across will tear up and say, “I hope so.”

Perhaps I don’t know the Lord as well as I think I do, but I am shocked by how many people I meet view the Lord as an angry God, watching us from His throne of judgment, waiting (almost hoping) for us to falter so He can zap us and condemn us. Some people live in fear of taking one misstep and getting struck by lightning. 

I do not know that God. The God I know, love, and worship is tremendously merciful and kind. The God I know loves us more than we can imagine, longs for us to live well, and can handle our pain, our complaints, and yes, even our anger. He knows all our thoughts before they leave our lips and wants to be honest with Him. 

That’s the God I know and want you to know Him. Perhaps His words will help you come to know Him, trust Him, and accept that He loves you and does not want you to live in fear. 

I cry out to the Lord; I plead for the Lord’s mercy. I pour out my complaints before him and tell him all my troubles. When I am overwhelmed, you alone know the way I should turn. (Psalm 142:1–3a)

Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. Selah (Psalm 62:8)

I called on your name, O Lord, from the depths of the pit. You heard my plea: “Do not close your ears to my cry for relief.” You came near when I called you, and you said, “Do not fear.” (Laminations 3:55-57)

“Therefore, I will not keep silent; I will speak out in the anguish of my spirit, I will complain in the bitterness of my soul. (Job 7:11)

In the same way, the spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will. (Romans 8:26-27)

You are loved

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

October 26, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 40

The Moods of Autumn

NOTE: I am writing this mostly from memory because where I am in Texas, it is still in the 80s during the day, and you must search to find “rich hues of red, gold, and amber.”

As the days grow shorter and the leaves turn from vibrant green to rich hues of red, gold, and amber, autumn arrives with a gentle invitation to pause and reflect. The moods of autumn are as varied as the colors that paint our landscapes—sometimes bright and jubilant, sometimes somber and quiet. 

There is a unique bittersweetness to this season, a mingling of joy and melancholy that reminds us of life’s continual changes. We marvel at the beauty of creation, feeling the crispness in the air (not quite yet) and hearing the crunch of fallen leaves underfoot. Yet beneath the surface, there’s a subtle reminder of endings—the final harvest, the last blooms, and the gentle descent into winter’s rest (which may last from mid-December to January).

In Ecclesiastes, we are told, “To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven.” Autumn’s moods encourage us to embrace this truth. It’s a time ripe for gratitude, when we gather the fruits of our labor and give thanks for God’s provision. 

It’s also a time for letting go, as trees release their leaves (only a few so far) and fields stand bare (thankfully, we had good rain last night, and from the rumblings I am hearing, there is more on the way today), teaching us to trust in God’s timing and wisdom. 

The quiet, reflective moments of autumn invite us to seek His presence, to find peace in stillness, and to remember that even in life’s transitions, we are held in God’s loving care.

Whether you find yourself uplifted by autumn’s vibrant displays or contemplative in its quieter moments, let this season draw you closer to the One who created it all. Allow the moods of autumn to inspire gratitude, hope, and faith, knowing that, just as the seasons change, God’s love for you remains constant and enduring.

You are loved

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

October 19, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 39

Stuff I’ve Learned

In no specific order, here are a few things I have learned.

I should not equate success with fame, fortune, and power. 

How I treat people is a better measurement of my success than any of my achievements. 

I may never know the lives I have touched by being gentle and kind. I need to be gentle and kind anyway.

Time alone doesn’t necessarily heal all things, but time does allow me to process what happens.

My relationships are more valuable than accomplishments, opinions, political views, or religious differences. 

Listening is usually better than speaking.

Humility opens doors that pride can close.

Forgiveness is a strength, not a weakness.

People are more valuable than my opinions, political views, or religious differences. 

If I want people to see Jesus in me, I must live like Him. 

If I am going to live like Jesus, I need to know Him, not just know about Him.

I want to know Him and help others know Him.

You are loved

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

October 12, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 38

Seeing More Clearly

I have worn glasses and contacts for over forty years. I first noticed the need when I had trouble reading road signs while driving. That led to glasses, then later contacts. During annual checkups, my doctors adjusted my prescriptions so I could see clearly at a distance and up close. At my annual checkup a couple of months ago, I heard my doctor say, “We’ve gone as far as we can go. We cannot increase the strength in your contacts or glasses enough to help. We need to think about cataracts.” 

The doctor’s words conveyed both feelings of excitement and dejection. “Yay, no more glasses or contacts.” And “Oh, I’m getting older.” I chose to focus on the “no more glasses or contacts” message and began looking for a doctor to perform the surgery. I have completed the surgeries: first, the right eye for up close, the left for distance. All I can say is “Wow!” My brain is still adjusting to the dual vision, but “Wow!” I had forgotten how blue the sky really is, and how white the clouds are. The flowers and butterflies in our backyard are brighter and more colorful than I remembered. “Wow!”

Not only can I see trees, blue skies, and faces more clearly, but this experience has reminded me that time and aging are helping me see other things more clearly. 

Wants and needs are two different things. I am usually happier when I focus on needs rather than wants. 

Not everyone wants or needs to hear my opinion.

I’m rarely, if ever, the most intelligent person in the room, so I shouldn’t act like I am. 

The more I listen, the better I can understand the person I’m with. 

Being quiet and focusing on God’s love is a good thing. I should do it more often. 

I cannot do everything. So, I shouldn’t beat myself up when I fail or make a mistake.

Relationships work better when I don’t assume what you are thinking or feeling.

I cannot change people. I should stop trying. 

I can only change myself. I should work more on myself. 

I cannot relive yesterday, and I cannot live tomorrow; I can only live today. And today I am grateful that my cataract surgery has noticeably improved my vision and is reminding me to appreciate the people and the beauty of the world more vividly. 

Seeing more clearly is a good thing. 

You are loved

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

October 4, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 37

Do Not Be Afraid

I hear the Lord say, “Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Be strong and courageous.”

Lord, I’m trying. 

I’m trying, but sometimes it isn’t easy. 

It’s not easy when I hear that there has been another mass shooting. 

It’s not easy when I see how the laws of the land, and especially the laws of God, are being ignored and misused.

It’s hard not to be discouraged when children are dying of starvation all around the world. 

It’s not easy to stay encouraged when women and children are disrespected, abused, and their stories ignored. 

“Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Be strong and courageous.”

Lord, I’m trying, but it’s hard to be strong and courageous when we live in a culture saturated with fear and negativity. 

Lord, I’m trying, and it helps when I meditate on your words:  “Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Be strong and courageous.” And remembering that you love me. 

Lord, it’s not easy, but I’m trying. 

You are loved

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

September 28, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 36

Listening To God

It is inappropriate to end a series of articles on listening without addressing the importance of listening to God. 

Jesus said, “Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.” (Mark 4:9, Luke 8:8, 14:35)

We all have ears; some of us hear better than others, but Jesus did not qualify his statement, “Whoever has good ears, let them hear.” He said Whoever has ears, let them hear.” In my view, our primary responsibility is to listen to the Lord. 

When a tragedy occurs, we may question God. “Where were you when this happened? Why did you do this?” “Why did you let this happen?” The questions are fine, ask them, God can handle them. 

Then, after the questions, listen. When you are reading God’s word, listen. As you listen to music, listen for Him. When you sit by the ocean, in the mountains, or lie on your bed in the middle of the night, listen. The Lord has been listening to your questions and is also listening to your heart. Even when you don’t hear Him, keep listening. He is still listening to you.

I cannot promise you that God will one day answer your questions or explain why things happened as they happened. I have questions that the Lord has helped me understand; I have other questions that I probably will never understand. I trust that He knows me and will do what is best for me. 

One question I ask the Lord when I do not understand His way is this: What do You want me to learn from this? He usually responds with this: “Tom, I know it is hard to endure the silence, trust me. I will show you what you need to know. Trust me with the rest. I love you and I have you.”

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

September 21, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 35

Listening: To Others and Ourselves

I’ve spent a lot of time over the last two weeks thinking about listening, writing about listening, and talking about listening with people who have read my words on listening. And I have spent quite a bit of time trying to listen. 

Listening to sermons, podcasts, music, people, and the news. One of the benefits of listening is that you learn about people, their dreams, their failures, and their struggles. When you understand them, you may know how they feel about world, national, and local events. When you listen and learn these things, you can respond to and care for them more effectively. 

While listening to podcasts and the news, I gain information. Some is good, some is bad. Some is true, some is untrue. Some news is encouraging, while other news discourages me, angers me, and makes me terribly sad. 

When gathering information, I try to listen to myself. If I don’t listen to and understand what my mind, body, and soul are saying to me, I risk fatigue and burnout. If that happens, I’m of no use to anyone. I must take my own advice. Listening to music, walking, and silence become keys to renewal and recovery. 

Effective listening is a key to good communication in business and personal relationships, but it never happens if we don’t listen to ourselves. Take care of yourself and listen to what your mind, body, heart, and soul are telling you. 

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

September 14, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 34

Lead With Your Ears

Last week I wrote about the importance of listening. This week, I am focusing on healthy ways of listening and some not-so-healthy ways. 

In the New Testament James wrote, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” (James 1:19-20, NIV) “Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue.” (The Message)

With “lead with your ears” as a foundational communication principle, let’s consider some Dos and Don’ts for listening.  

Don’t

Don’t assume you have all the answers. If possible, don’t assume anything about the other person or the purpose of the conversation other than that you are about to have a conversation. Lead with your ears.

Don’t go into the conversation or argument just waiting for your turn. Maybe you know what the person is going to say, but you may not. Lead with your ears. 

Don’t enter the conversation expecting a fight. Lower your defenses. Be calm. Be open. Lead with your ears.

Don’t listen just to get to your turn to talk. Pay attention. Lead with your ears.

Don’t interrupt. Let the person finish what they need to say. Lead with your ears.

Don’t be afraid of the silence. Sure, it’s awkward for a bit, but the awkwardness will pass. It is okay to sit in silence. Lead with your ears.

Do

Lead with your ears.

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

September 7, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 33

Just Listen

In 1976, the year Kim and I were married, and before I had a master’s degree in counseling, and long before I had an almost PhD (all but a diploma) in counseling, I read “How to Be a People Helper” (Dr. Gary Collins). On the back cover of that book are these words, 

“Everyone you know has problems, and it’s likely you can help them more than you realize. Think about it! You know that more ‘hurting’ people are helped by friends, relatives, parents, business associates, etc., than are helped by professional counselors. Even the counseling profession is facing that face. It is the objective of this book to help you become a better people helper than you already are; to help you become more sensitive to the feelings, need and pains of the people around you, to help you learn how to deal with ‘people-problem’ crisis; to help you learn how to use the same principles used by professionals I helping people; to help you know when and where to refer people who have problems too serious for you to handle, and to help you to understand how the principles of Christian discipleship are the basis for this total process.”

Almost fifty years later, I’m trying to learn to be a better people helper. 

Thanks to people helpers in my life – Jesus, friends, teachers, professors, family members, and long-distance mentors – I’ve learned a lot since 1976. I do not remember if Dr. Collins said this in his book or not, but probably the more important thing I’ve learned about helping people is this: just listen. 

Just listen. Listen to the words, their eyes, their silences, and their hearts. A part of the listening process is understanding that I cannot fix them, change them, or take away their pain. Jesus can, but I cannot. But I can listen. 

I cannot take away the sadness of a 90-year-old man who cannot understand why He is still here when he says, “I can’t do anything anymore.” I cannot change the fact that an 83-year-old lady feels angry and estranged from her son and daughter-in-law. But I can listen. 

I cannot undo what being married to a narcissistic husband for forty years did to the 91-year-old woman who, though much healthier now than she was then, still weeps as she shares her story. But I can listen. 

I cannot heal the friends who have been diagnosed with cancer, nor the friend who sobs as he describes what is going on with his family and the feelings of helplessness.

Although I often wish I could ease the grief in people who have suffered from church abuse, are devastated by the loss of a spouse or a child, or a relationship, or a teenager is trying to understand who she is. I cannot do that, but I can listen. 

Like Job’s friends, I find that I’m much more effective at helping people when I sit with them and just listen. I have learned that, as Solomon said, “a time to be silent and a time to listen.” When I need help, usually that’s what I want: someone who will just listen. 

Do you want to help someone you love? Start by listening to them.  

Just listen.

Tom

I love you.

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

August 31, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 32

Not Enough

“Thoughts and prayers are not enough.” We’ve heard those words once again in Minneapolis, a shooter killed two children and injured eighteen others while they were singing and praying in what should be the safety of their school and church. We must do something.

I agree, thoughts and prayers are not enough, but at least it is a start. So, let’s start there. 

Remind parents who drop their children off at school or put them on a bus in the morning, you are thinking about them and praying for them and their children. Then, really pray for them to be kept safe and to return home safely at the end of the day. Remind them often that you are thinking about them and praying for them.

Take the time to think about and research ways to improve things. When you see a school that provides a safe and secure environment where children and teachers can work, learn, and play without fear, compliment them on their system. When you see one that lacks a security system, encourage them to make improvements.  

I’m not suggesting protests in the street or banning weapons and firearms, but I am suggesting that we use good common sense on how we sell weapons to whom we sell them. Parents, grandparents, friends, pay attention to what’s going on around you. If you notice something that looks out of place, please speak up. 

If you hold a position of leadership in the community, use your influence and authority to promote positive change and reduce the angry rhetoric that is so prevalent in our culture.

Obviously, we have not yet found a foolproof security system, and perhaps there is no perfect system, but we can strive to do better. Let’s think, let’s pray, let’s do something. Let’s do whatever it takes to protect our children and help them feel safe.

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved