A Norvell Note

A Norvell Note

December 7, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 46

Maybe It’s Not Your Fault

“There’s a certain peace that shows up when you stop turning every inconvenience into a personal failure. Sometimes things go wrong because life is messy – not because you’re doing anything wrong. Once that clicks, the world feels a lot less hostile.” (Unknown) 

Stuff happens. We make mistakes. We all mess up. We all get it wrong sometimes. When you do something wrong, admit it and take responsibility. But it is not healthy for you to assume that you’re doing anything wrong. 

There is no reason for you to believe that getting sick or having a medical condition is somehow your fault.

If your school calls to tell you that your child is sick, it’s not your fault; they were not ill when you dropped them off.

There is no reason for you to internalize layoffs, rejected proposals, or shifts in company direction. 

There is no need for you to feel responsible when someone else is upset, angry, or disappointed, even if you don’t cause their feelings.

Don’t blame yourself for situations like someone spilling a drink near you or a power outage ruining your plans.

Don’t assume that every argument, breakup, or friendship drift is because you did something wrong.

Why should you feel guilty when a child struggles in school, or a family member is having a hard time, if it’s outside your control?

Sometimes we miss opportunities, but blaming yourself for not being in the right place at the right time, as if you could have predicted or controlled everything, does not help.

Recognizing these tendencies can help you separate what is truly your responsibility from what is simply life being messy.

“By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything. “(1 John 3:19-20 (ESV)

I love you, 

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

November 30, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 45

What Do You Want for Christmas?

What do you want for Christmas? That’s the question of the day for children and adults alike, and it’s a dangerous question for me. 

My list of wants ranges from someone to pay off the mortgage on our house and our two car loans, to being able to snap my fingers and have another book published, to sitting on my favorite beach enjoying a cup of the best coffee in the world. And a few other things mixed in when I think of them. 

That is one list. The other list is more spiritual; hopefully, it does not come across as holier than thou, that is certainly not my intent. My second list is the same as the one the Greeks had in Jesus’ day. 

There were some Greeks in town who had come up to worship at the Feast. They approached Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee: “Sir, we want to see Jesus. Can you help us?”^[1]

I want to see Jesus in me. For that to happen, I must spend time in the gospels so that I know Him, then I must take what I know and put it into practice. I want to see the gentleness of Jesus in me. I want to see the compassion of Jesus in me. I want to see the love of Jesus in me. 

I want to see Jesus in nature. I want to see Jesus on a cool sunny day. I want to see Jesus on a cold, rainy day. I want to see Jesus on a hot, muggy day. I want to see Jesus in the mountains, by the ocean, and in flowers blooming in our backyard.

I want to see Jesus in people. Regardless of their skin color, background, nationality, political views, or the words that come out of their mouths, I want to see Jesus in all people.

I want to see Jesus in the church. I want to see the church love the world as He did. “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son.” I want to see the church love one another as He instructed us: “Love one another as I have loved you.” 

What do I want for Christmas? I want to see Jesus so others can see Him and come to know Him. 

I love you, 

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

^[1] Eugene H. Peterson, The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2005), Jn 12:20–21.

A Norvell Note

November 23, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 44

Reflections in a Quiet Booth: Lessons from Life and On Golden Pond

After a memorial service for one of my patients, a visit with a lady in her 90s, and another visit with a woman who has a very confused view of what is going on in her world, I needed a quiet place to eat and document notes. I remembered that Freddy’s is usually calm on an early Friday afternoon (and has a good burger). I set up my mobile office in a booth in the back corner. It was indeed almost empty. 

After collecting my burger, I inserted my AirPods and touched play on my phone. The first song was from the On Golden Pond soundtrack. I paused, looked across the deserted dining area, and drifted away in the world of what may be.

I remember Norman getting lost while picking strawberries and melting into Ethel’s loving arms, saying, “I was scared.” I smiled as an angry daughter and dad struggled to reconnect. And I almost lost it completely when Ethel thought Norman was having a heart attack. And I took deep, long breaths as the couple recognized that the loons had come to say goodbye. 

As my burger and fries got colder, and my strawberry milkshake got warmer, I sat silently in a near-empty burger restaurant, thinking that one day it may be me. I didn’t cry, but I wanted to. 

So, I pondered. I’m big on pondering. How will I handle it as the years continue to do what advancing years do? Will I turn into a grouchy old man? Will I not recognize my wife, my son, my daughter, my grandchildren? Will be afraid, distant, angry, or mean? I hope not.

I love you,

Tom

Instead, I hope the teachings I have received from birth, and before, that His love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control will flow out of me like rivers of living water. I hope my gentleness will be evident to all because I know, even if I do not consciously know, that God is near. 

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

November 16, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 43

Remembering

We spent the weekend with my two brothers and their wives, a nephew, his wife, and their children, which we are blessed to be able to do a couple of times a year (at least we try). This year, we received an extra blessing when some other cousins were able to join us for a few hours. One of the cousins I had not seen in fifty-two years, and the rest I had never met. 

While we were together, we spent a lot of time remembering (and trying to remember) dates, events, and names. We shared memories and stories. We shared stories of those who are no longer with us. At times, we laughed; at times, we cried (or almost cried); and at times, we laughed until we cried. 

That is what we do when we get together. We remember. We hope there will be more times in the future, but we also realize that there may not be another time. We remember and remind each other of our heritage and the legacy that is ours, the people who have helped shape who we are, and we hope to do the same for those who come after us. 

That is what families do, at least that is what our family does, and that is what our spiritual gatherings are supposed to do. We sing together, we pray together, and we eat the bread and drink the wine, so we will remember what the Lord has done, is doing, and will do for us. 

Wherever you are as you read these words, I hope you feel blessed by your physical family, your spiritual family, and thank the Lord for both. And remember you are loved.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

November 9, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 42

Improve the Silence

“Don’t talk unless you can improve the silence.”

Those words, in a 5×7 frame, have sat on a bookshelf in my study for more years than I can remember. Some people have looked at them, read them aloud, laughed, and ignored them. Others have sheepishly started to whisper. There have been others that I have wanted to point out the words and ask them to honor them. 

Mostly, they have served as a reminder to me. 

They remind me, as I have written about on more than one occasion, that not everyone needs to hear my opinion. 

They remind me that I learn more by listening than speaking.

They remind me that yelling at others and trying to dominate them accomplishes nothing. 

They remind me not to interrupt when someone else is talking (whether they are improving the silence or not).

They remind me that “there is a time to speak and a time to remain silent.”

They remind me that at times my speaking will improve the silence.

They remind me that in this room with soft music playing and the screensaver showing autumn leaves falling beside a lake, I should just be quiet, reflect, and enjoy the moment. 

They remind me that even when I am journaling, I sometimes need to put my pen down and just be still and silent. 

They remind me to be “quick to listen and slow to speak.”

They remind me that in the silence, God may be speaking to me, and I should not interrupt; I cannot improve on that.

They remind me that I have said enough for now. 

You are loved

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

November 2, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 41

He Can Handle It

“I’m sorry, but I’m angry with God.” 

I hear that statement quite often. I have listened to it when a loved one is near death or has already passed. People say it after a job opportunity has fallen through, or when life seems to be going in the wrong direction. I have said it myself a few times. 

When I hear that statement, unless the anger sounds like a more profound level of anger, I usually say. “I think God understands that and can handle your anger.” Quite often, the hurting person sitting across will tear up and say, “I hope so.”

Perhaps I don’t know the Lord as well as I think I do, but I am shocked by how many people I meet view the Lord as an angry God, watching us from His throne of judgment, waiting (almost hoping) for us to falter so He can zap us and condemn us. Some people live in fear of taking one misstep and getting struck by lightning. 

I do not know that God. The God I know, love, and worship is tremendously merciful and kind. The God I know loves us more than we can imagine, longs for us to live well, and can handle our pain, our complaints, and yes, even our anger. He knows all our thoughts before they leave our lips and wants to be honest with Him. 

That’s the God I know and want you to know Him. Perhaps His words will help you come to know Him, trust Him, and accept that He loves you and does not want you to live in fear. 

I cry out to the Lord; I plead for the Lord’s mercy. I pour out my complaints before him and tell him all my troubles. When I am overwhelmed, you alone know the way I should turn. (Psalm 142:1–3a)

Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. Selah (Psalm 62:8)

I called on your name, O Lord, from the depths of the pit. You heard my plea: “Do not close your ears to my cry for relief.” You came near when I called you, and you said, “Do not fear.” (Laminations 3:55-57)

“Therefore, I will not keep silent; I will speak out in the anguish of my spirit, I will complain in the bitterness of my soul. (Job 7:11)

In the same way, the spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will. (Romans 8:26-27)

You are loved

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

October 26, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 40

The Moods of Autumn

NOTE: I am writing this mostly from memory because where I am in Texas, it is still in the 80s during the day, and you must search to find “rich hues of red, gold, and amber.”

As the days grow shorter and the leaves turn from vibrant green to rich hues of red, gold, and amber, autumn arrives with a gentle invitation to pause and reflect. The moods of autumn are as varied as the colors that paint our landscapes—sometimes bright and jubilant, sometimes somber and quiet. 

There is a unique bittersweetness to this season, a mingling of joy and melancholy that reminds us of life’s continual changes. We marvel at the beauty of creation, feeling the crispness in the air (not quite yet) and hearing the crunch of fallen leaves underfoot. Yet beneath the surface, there’s a subtle reminder of endings—the final harvest, the last blooms, and the gentle descent into winter’s rest (which may last from mid-December to January).

In Ecclesiastes, we are told, “To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven.” Autumn’s moods encourage us to embrace this truth. It’s a time ripe for gratitude, when we gather the fruits of our labor and give thanks for God’s provision. 

It’s also a time for letting go, as trees release their leaves (only a few so far) and fields stand bare (thankfully, we had good rain last night, and from the rumblings I am hearing, there is more on the way today), teaching us to trust in God’s timing and wisdom. 

The quiet, reflective moments of autumn invite us to seek His presence, to find peace in stillness, and to remember that even in life’s transitions, we are held in God’s loving care.

Whether you find yourself uplifted by autumn’s vibrant displays or contemplative in its quieter moments, let this season draw you closer to the One who created it all. Allow the moods of autumn to inspire gratitude, hope, and faith, knowing that, just as the seasons change, God’s love for you remains constant and enduring.

You are loved

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

October 19, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 39

Stuff I’ve Learned

In no specific order, here are a few things I have learned.

I should not equate success with fame, fortune, and power. 

How I treat people is a better measurement of my success than any of my achievements. 

I may never know the lives I have touched by being gentle and kind. I need to be gentle and kind anyway.

Time alone doesn’t necessarily heal all things, but time does allow me to process what happens.

My relationships are more valuable than accomplishments, opinions, political views, or religious differences. 

Listening is usually better than speaking.

Humility opens doors that pride can close.

Forgiveness is a strength, not a weakness.

People are more valuable than my opinions, political views, or religious differences. 

If I want people to see Jesus in me, I must live like Him. 

If I am going to live like Jesus, I need to know Him, not just know about Him.

I want to know Him and help others know Him.

You are loved

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

October 12, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 38

Seeing More Clearly

I have worn glasses and contacts for over forty years. I first noticed the need when I had trouble reading road signs while driving. That led to glasses, then later contacts. During annual checkups, my doctors adjusted my prescriptions so I could see clearly at a distance and up close. At my annual checkup a couple of months ago, I heard my doctor say, “We’ve gone as far as we can go. We cannot increase the strength in your contacts or glasses enough to help. We need to think about cataracts.” 

The doctor’s words conveyed both feelings of excitement and dejection. “Yay, no more glasses or contacts.” And “Oh, I’m getting older.” I chose to focus on the “no more glasses or contacts” message and began looking for a doctor to perform the surgery. I have completed the surgeries: first, the right eye for up close, the left for distance. All I can say is “Wow!” My brain is still adjusting to the dual vision, but “Wow!” I had forgotten how blue the sky really is, and how white the clouds are. The flowers and butterflies in our backyard are brighter and more colorful than I remembered. “Wow!”

Not only can I see trees, blue skies, and faces more clearly, but this experience has reminded me that time and aging are helping me see other things more clearly. 

Wants and needs are two different things. I am usually happier when I focus on needs rather than wants. 

Not everyone wants or needs to hear my opinion.

I’m rarely, if ever, the most intelligent person in the room, so I shouldn’t act like I am. 

The more I listen, the better I can understand the person I’m with. 

Being quiet and focusing on God’s love is a good thing. I should do it more often. 

I cannot do everything. So, I shouldn’t beat myself up when I fail or make a mistake.

Relationships work better when I don’t assume what you are thinking or feeling.

I cannot change people. I should stop trying. 

I can only change myself. I should work more on myself. 

I cannot relive yesterday, and I cannot live tomorrow; I can only live today. And today I am grateful that my cataract surgery has noticeably improved my vision and is reminding me to appreciate the people and the beauty of the world more vividly. 

Seeing more clearly is a good thing. 

You are loved

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

October 4, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 37

Do Not Be Afraid

I hear the Lord say, “Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Be strong and courageous.”

Lord, I’m trying. 

I’m trying, but sometimes it isn’t easy. 

It’s not easy when I hear that there has been another mass shooting. 

It’s not easy when I see how the laws of the land, and especially the laws of God, are being ignored and misused.

It’s hard not to be discouraged when children are dying of starvation all around the world. 

It’s not easy to stay encouraged when women and children are disrespected, abused, and their stories ignored. 

“Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Be strong and courageous.”

Lord, I’m trying, but it’s hard to be strong and courageous when we live in a culture saturated with fear and negativity. 

Lord, I’m trying, and it helps when I meditate on your words:  “Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Be strong and courageous.” And remembering that you love me. 

Lord, it’s not easy, but I’m trying. 

You are loved

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved