A Norvell Note

A Norvell Note

September 7, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 33

Just Listen

In 1976, the year Kim and I were married, and before I had a master’s degree in counseling, and long before I had an almost PhD (all but a diploma) in counseling, I read “How to Be a People Helper” (Dr. Gary Collins). On the back cover of that book are these words, 

“Everyone you know has problems, and it’s likely you can help them more than you realize. Think about it! You know that more ‘hurting’ people are helped by friends, relatives, parents, business associates, etc., than are helped by professional counselors. Even the counseling profession is facing that face. It is the objective of this book to help you become a better people helper than you already are; to help you become more sensitive to the feelings, need and pains of the people around you, to help you learn how to deal with ‘people-problem’ crisis; to help you learn how to use the same principles used by professionals I helping people; to help you know when and where to refer people who have problems too serious for you to handle, and to help you to understand how the principles of Christian discipleship are the basis for this total process.”

Almost fifty years later, I’m trying to learn to be a better people helper. 

Thanks to people helpers in my life – Jesus, friends, teachers, professors, family members, and long-distance mentors – I’ve learned a lot since 1976. I do not remember if Dr. Collins said this in his book or not, but probably the more important thing I’ve learned about helping people is this: just listen. 

Just listen. Listen to the words, their eyes, their silences, and their hearts. A part of the listening process is understanding that I cannot fix them, change them, or take away their pain. Jesus can, but I cannot. But I can listen. 

I cannot take away the sadness of a 90-year-old man who cannot understand why He is still here when he says, “I can’t do anything anymore.” I cannot change the fact that an 83-year-old lady feels angry and estranged from her son and daughter-in-law. But I can listen. 

I cannot undo what being married to a narcissistic husband for forty years did to the 91-year-old woman who, though much healthier now than she was then, still weeps as she shares her story. But I can listen. 

I cannot heal the friends who have been diagnosed with cancer, nor the friend who sobs as he describes what is going on with his family and the feelings of helplessness.

Although I often wish I could ease the grief in people who have suffered from church abuse, are devastated by the loss of a spouse or a child, or a relationship, or a teenager is trying to understand who she is. I cannot do that, but I can listen. 

Like Job’s friends, I find that I’m much more effective at helping people when I sit with them and just listen. I have learned that, as Solomon said, “a time to be silent and a time to listen.” When I need help, usually that’s what I want: someone who will just listen. 

Do you want to help someone you love? Start by listening to them.  

Just listen.

Tom

I love you.

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

August 31, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 32

Not Enough

“Thoughts and prayers are not enough.” We’ve heard those words once again in Minneapolis, a shooter killed two children and injured eighteen others while they were singing and praying in what should be the safety of their school and church. We must do something.

I agree, thoughts and prayers are not enough, but at least it is a start. So, let’s start there. 

Remind parents who drop their children off at school or put them on a bus in the morning, you are thinking about them and praying for them and their children. Then, really pray for them to be kept safe and to return home safely at the end of the day. Remind them often that you are thinking about them and praying for them.

Take the time to think about and research ways to improve things. When you see a school that provides a safe and secure environment where children and teachers can work, learn, and play without fear, compliment them on their system. When you see one that lacks a security system, encourage them to make improvements.  

I’m not suggesting protests in the street or banning weapons and firearms, but I am suggesting that we use good common sense on how we sell weapons to whom we sell them. Parents, grandparents, friends, pay attention to what’s going on around you. If you notice something that looks out of place, please speak up. 

If you hold a position of leadership in the community, use your influence and authority to promote positive change and reduce the angry rhetoric that is so prevalent in our culture.

Obviously, we have not yet found a foolproof security system, and perhaps there is no perfect system, but we can strive to do better. Let’s think, let’s pray, let’s do something. Let’s do whatever it takes to protect our children and help them feel safe.

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

August 24, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 31

The Voice of My Heart

Sometimes when I am writing, I get stuck. My mind is full of thoughts and images of people and situations, but I cannot transfer those thoughts and images to paper, a computer screen, or verbal expressions. I sip my coffee, pray for words, pause, and look around the room. I listen to music, maybe pet the cat, stare out the window, and wait. Usually, the words come.

The same thing often happens when I am praying. Faces and places hover above, around, and inside me. So, I sit quietly with my thoughts and pray, “Father, hear what’s in my heart.” He does.  

Fernando Ortega sings, “I prayed with the voice of my heart. And He heard my cry.” (I Stretched Out My Hands)

While gathered with people I love and long to be with, we have sung, Listen to Our Hearts. I’m confident He has. 

While sitting with a troubled soul or standing in a room with a family trying to make sense of the passing of a loved one, I remind them and myself of these words. “Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our expectant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.” (Romans 8:26-28, The Message)

Father, thank You for understanding when we don’t have words and for listening to the voice of our hearts. 

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

August 17, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 30

Where Can We Go

Father, 

I watched the reports of the search and rescue efforts as the floodwaters rose quickly and more powerfully than anyone in the Texas Hill Country had ever seen.

I waited anxiously for word that our children had reached high ground and were safe at a friend’s home during the tsunami warning. 

I watch story after story of gunmen who enter buildings and open fire on unsuspecting coworkers and innocent bystanders. 

I see the destruction caused by tornadoes, hurricanes, fires, explosions, train derailments, and all manner of other accidents that create havoc and change lives forever. 

I shake my head in disbelief at the actions, inaction, and consequences of the decisions made by political and world leaders.

I watch, I listen, I sit in silence and grieve, and I ask, where can we go to be safe?

Then, I remember Your words. 

John 16:33, “I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.”

Nahum 1:7, “The Lord is good,
    a refuge in times of trouble.
He cares for those who trust in him,”

Psalm 46:10-11a, “Attention, all! See the marvels of God!
    He plants flowers and trees all over the earth,
Bans war from pole to pole,
    breaks all the weapons across his knee.
“Step out of the traffic! Take a long,
    loving look at me, your High God,
    above politics, above everything.” (The Message)

¹¹     The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.” (NIV)

Psalm 139: 7-12, 23-24, “Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
    to be out of your sight?
If I climb to the sky, you’re there!
    If I go underground, you’re there!
If I flew on morning’s wings
    to the far western horizon,
You’d find me in a minute—
    you’re already there waiting!
Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
    At night I’m immersed in the light!”
It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you;
    night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.”

“Investigate my life, O God,
    find out everything about me;
Cross-examine and test me,
    get a clear picture of what I’m about;
See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong—
    then guide me on the road to eternal life.”

Philippians 4:5-9, “Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”

Father, I watch, I listen, I sit in silence and grieve, and I find comfort in knowing that You are our safe place. Our only truly safe place. 

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

August 11, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 29

At Just the Right Time

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷ Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person, someone might possibly dare to die. (Romans 6:6-7)

At just the right time. 

There are no words to adequately express how much those five words mean to all who acknowledge the gift of eternal life at just the right time. He gave His life for us at just the right time, and He continues to help, lead, teach, and show us that He loves us. He does these things at just the right time. 

He puts us in the places at just the right time. He puts us in with people at just the right time. He tells us what to do at just the right time. He reminds us that goodness is within us when we can’t see it at just the right time. He gives us strength when we don’t think we have any, at just the right time. He leads us beside the quiet waters at just the right time. He uses us for His good purposes at just the right time. 

We may not realize it at the time, but if we are not paying attention, we will see that He is with us and for us at just the right time. He always does what He does at just the right time.  

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

August 3, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 28

He Is Our Hope

Solomon’s words ring true on any given week. 

 There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,

     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,

     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,

     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

If we pause and reflect on the last seven days of our lives, we have experienced a little bit of everything. 

Some saw a baby take their first breath, and some saw a loved one take their last.

Some settled into their new homes, while others uprooted their families and headed to a new one. 

We heard about killings, and we heard about healings.

We have wept and mourned, and we have laughed and danced for joy.

Some have gathered our belongings, and others have scattered them.

We have embraced our loved ones, and others could not embrace the ones they love. 

Some have searched for what was lost and eventually given up the search, while others have found what they were looking for.

Some of us sorted through our belongings, kept certain items, and either gave them away or threw them away. 

We have torn some things and mended others. 

We have been silent, and we have spoken.

We have loved some of what we’ve seen and hated what we have seen.

We have seen the tragedies of war and have enjoyed times of peace.

That was not just last week or the coming week; that is each week. That is life. How do we do it? How do we survive? How do we flourish in life with so many ups and downs? 

I know of only one way: We put our hope in Jesus Christ, the Son of the living God. 

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

July 27, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 27

What Do They See?

According to Mark 8:27, Jesus asked His disciples, “Who do people say that I am?” In a similar vein, at times of introspection, I find myself wondering, “What do others see when they look at me?”

When people look at me, they see a unique blend of characteristics that define who I am. Each person perceives me through their lens, influenced by their experiences, beliefs, and emotions. This perception can vary widely, but certain common threads often emerge.

Firstly, people see my physical appearance. This perception includes my height, build, facial features, and the way I carry myself. My style of dress, grooming, and overall presentation also play a significant role in how I am perceived. These external attributes can convey a lot about my personality, confidence, and even my mood on a given day.

Beyond the surface, people also see my expressions and body language. A smile, a frown, or a look of determination can speak volumes. My gestures, posture, and eye contact can reveal my level of engagement, openness, and approachability. These non-verbal cues are powerful indicators of my inner state and can significantly influence how others see me.

People also see my actions and behavior. How I interact with others, my manners, and my responses to different situations all contribute to the image I project. Acts of kindness, patience, and empathy can leave a lasting impression, just as negative behaviors can. My consistency in actions and words helps build trust and credibility over time.

Moreover, people see my achievements and contributions. Whether in my personal or professional life, the things I accomplish and the impact I make are visible markers of my capabilities and values. These achievements can inspire respect and admiration, and they often shape how others view my potential and worth.

Ultimately, what people see when they look at me is a complex interplay of my physical presence, expressions, actions, and accomplishments. Each of these elements contributes to the multifaceted image that others perceive, reflecting both who I am and how I choose to present myself to the world.

Beneath all those possible perceptions, more than anything else, I hope people see a man who wants to live like Jesus and help others see Him and live like Him. 

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

July 20, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 27

A Place for Us

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me.  My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” (John 14:1-4)

As I stood in front of a family gathered to say their final goodbyes to their mother, grandmother, mother-in-law, and spouse. We discussed her life and legacy, and I shared that she is now enjoying the place that Jesus had prepared for her. Heads nodded in agreement, and her spouse shed tears as he grieved her passing and longed to be there with her. 

We can also find comfort in knowing that He has a place prepared for us.

When we travel, we often make a hotel reservation to ensure that, upon arrival at our destination, we have a place to stay and a bed to sleep in. If we call to confirm our reservation, the hotel clerk will say, “Yes, your room is ready for you when you arrive.” We feel relieved, and our hearts are not troubled.

When our time on earth comes to an end, we have the same assurance knowing that we have a place waiting for us. We cannot choose the location of our room or the furnishings, but we don’t need to because it is being prepared for us. Jesus assures us, “I have your place prepared for you. Just follow me. I am the way.”

Thank You, Lord. We look forward to seeing the place You have prepared for us

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

July 13, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 26

Grief is Real

As you drive to work, you’re thinking about your to-do list that is waiting for you once you get to the office. It is a pleasant morning. Then you hear a song on your playlist. Not just any song. You hear that song. Your mind goes back to the hospital room, you hear the doctor’s voice, and you are at the graveside. You may be experiencing grief.

You are having a great day. The best day you’ve had in a while. You are thanking the Lord for a good night’s sleep and waking up to a new day. Suddenly, it feels like a dark cloud has completely engulfed you. What is going on? You may be experiencing grief.

It’s another sleepless night. You use every relaxation and meditation technique your therapist has taught you, but nothing works. You get up, get a drink of water, and try to read, but you cannot focus. You lie back down but still can’t sleep. You may be experiencing grief.

You don’t have much of an appetite. Nothing tastes good. Friends bring you food and invite you over for dinner, and you take a few bites, but you have no desire to eat. You may be experiencing grief.

You make a trip to the ocean. The beach has always been a place of peace and consolation. You walk on the beach, then step out into the surf. You stand there enjoying the ocean breeze and feeling the waves lapping against your legs. Seemingly from out of nowhere, a big wave slaps you off your feet and throws you for a loop. Leaving you disheveled and confused. You may be experiencing grief.

If you have experienced a loss – a death, divorce, any loss – the grief is real. You may not see it coming, or recognize it when it hits, but it’s real and you need to let it do what grief must do. You do not need to go through it alone. Help is available. Please take advantage of the grief support resources in your area. If you need help, please seek it and accept. 

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

July 6, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 25

Father, I Pray

NOTE: As of 11 pm on July 5th, the death toll from the Texas flooding has risen to at least 43 — including 15 children; 27 girls from Camp Mystic are still missing. 

Father, I pray for those who have lost loved ones due to the recent floods in Central and South Texas. I pray for those who are grieving the loss of a loved one who did not survive the flood. I pray for those who are holding on to the hope that their loved one is still alive. 

Father, I pray for the little girls who were at camp sleeping in their cabin when flood waters swept them away. The suddenness of what happened must have been horrific. I pray that Your Spirit was with them to hold them close and comfort them. I pray for the parents of those little girls that Your Spirit will provide them some level of comfort as they grieve the loss of their girl. 

Father, I pray for the families who traveled to the area to enjoy the holiday and awoke to the reality that lives were about to end. 

Father, I pray for the families who are anxiously waiting for good news that their loved one is alive and well. 

Father, I pray for those who have lost all their earthly belongings and are now wondering where to start. 

Father, I pray for those who have lost businesses, those who have lost property, and those who have lost their livelihood.

Father, I pray for the First Responders, Rescue workers, medical personnel, Coast Guard personnel, volunteers, Police, firefighters, and everyone else involved in the search, recovery, and cleanup efforts. Give them energy, strength, and hope to continue. Give them rest when they need it. Give them peace and comfort for what they have seen and done. 

Father, I pray for all who are providing food, shelter, clothing, and whatever else is needed to help the people impacted by the storms and floods in our area and across the nation. 

Father, I pray that you will help the searchers find the lost, that medical personnel can heal the sick and injured, that the homeless may find shelter, that the fatigued may rest, and that the grieving may be comforted.

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved