A Norvell Note

Vol. 16 No. 44 | November 04, 2013

If he was still alive my Dad would be 104 years old today(October 30, 2013). What would that be like? What would he think about the world? Would his thinking (opinions, prejudices, ideas) have changed from what they were in the last forty-one years?

I often wonder what he would think about the world I live in. What would he think about me? What would he think about my family? What would he think about church? What would he think about his grandchildren? What would he think about these Notes and this one in particular? What would he think about the government and the political climate? Maybe I really don’t want to know what he would think about that? Maybe I already have a good idea of what he would think about that. I wonder what he would think about paying $2 for a cup of coffee (he mostly drank Maxwell House instant coffee), $3 for a gallon of gas, or not being able to smoke in a restaurant after a meal. I wonder what my Dad would think about a lot of things.

Sometimes I wish I could sit with him and have a conversation with him and ask him about his life, mistakes he made and things he did right, and if he had any advice for me as a husband, a dad, or a grandfather. I can only speculate about what he would think and imagine what my earthly father would say or think.

I can, however, talk with my heavenly Father, and I can know what He thinks.

I know how He feels about me. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16) “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13)

I know how He wants me to treat other people. “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. (John 13:34)

I know how He wants us to be known. “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:35)

I know what He wants me to do when I am tired. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”(Matthew 11:28-30)

I know how He wants me to deal with the material things and the future. “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:25-34)

I know what He wants us to do about the Kingdom. Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:18-20)

I know what He wants me to do. “Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, ‘Lord, who is going to betray you?’) When Peter saw him, he asked, ‘Lord, what about him?’

Jesus answered, ‘If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.’” (John 21:20-22)

Because I am his son I can be pretty sure about how my dad would think and feel about some things. Because I am His child my Father has made it very clear how He feels about me and how I can live to please Him. I do not need to wonder.

Tom

© Copyright 2013 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

 

Vol. 16 No. 43 | October 28, 2013

Psalm 124:

If the Lord had not been on our side—
let Israel say—

if the Lord had not been on our side
when people attacked us,

they would have swallowed us alive
when their anger flared against us;

the flood would have engulfed us,
the torrent would have swept over us,

the raging waters
would have swept us away.

Praise be to the Lord,
who has not let us be torn by their teeth.

We have escaped like a bird
from the fowler’s snare;
the snare has been broken,
and we have escaped.

Our help is in the name of the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

What if the Lord had not been on our side?

What if the Lord had not been on our side when we were attacked by forces committed to tearing us down, destroying our reputation, and robbing us of the peace? How would we have handled it? How would we have kept our sanity? How would we have been able to not seek revenge or retaliation? The forces against us would have swallowed us alive, the flood would have engulfed us, the torrent would have swept over us, and the raging waters would have swept us away. The Lord was on our side.

What if the Lord had not been on our side when our marriage was consumed by stress and confusion? What if the Lord had not been on our side when the stress and confusion turned into anger, rage, and resentment? What if the Lord had not been on our side when everything we thought was true and stable crumbled around us? We would have been swallowed alive, the flood would have engulfed us, the torrent would have swept over us, and the raging waters would have swept us away. The Lord was on our side.

What if the Lord had not been on our side when our children were hurting, battling temptations, and struggling to hold on to their faith? What if the Lord had not been on our side when our children walked away from their faith in pursuit of the good life? What if the Lord had not been on our side when our children denounced their heritage and became strangers to us? The Lord was on our side.

What if the Lord had not been on our side when we listened to our parents argue night after night as we pretended to be asleep? What if the Lord had not been on our side when our parents sat us down and informed us that they no longer loved one another and were getting a divorce? What if the Lord had not been on our side when our parents told us we had to choose which one of them we wanted to live with? We would have been swallowed alive, the flood would have engulfed us, the torrent would have swept over us, and the raging waters would have swept us away. The Lord was on our side.

What if the Lord is not on our side when we learn that our husband has been in a freak accident and will not survive? What if the Lord is not on our side when we learn that our wife’s cancer that was treated and declared gone appears again, and this time is more aggressive? What if the Lord is not on our side when our best friends reveal that their marriage has been in trouble for a long time and now they are giving up and are going to divorce? What if the job we thought was a sure thing does not materialize? If these things (or even worse) do happen, and they may, and the Lord is not on our side we could be swallowed alive, the flood could engulf us, the torrent could sweep over us, and the raging waters could sweep us away. But, the Lord is on our side.

Praise be to the Lord. Our help is in the name of the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

Tom

© Copyright 2013 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

 

Vol. 16 No. 42 | October 21, 2013

Some things do not last long enough.

When believers come together for worship and the fellowship is rich and real, it’s not long enough.

When friends get together to renew their relationship, share the latest events of their lives, and pray with each other, it’s not long enough.

When the day is crisp and cool, the breeze is gentle and refreshing, and the sunset is brilliantly colorful, it’s not long enough.

When the meal is exquisite, the ambiance is perfect, and the conversation is encouraging, it’s not long enough.

When the family is on vacation, it’s not long enough.

When the golf is good, it’s not long enough.

When the weather is perfect and the speaker is compelling, the retreat is not long enough.

When the family is together, it’s not long enough.

When the years pass quickly and you cherish every day, it’s not long enough.

When you finally have a day off, it’s not long enough.

When your week has been hectic and harried and hassled and you make it to the weekend, it’s not long enough.

When you are under pressure to finish the project and you cannot get anyone to help you, you have time but you feel it’s not long enough.

When the cancer is growing and advancing, the chemo is not working, and time is running out, you realize it’s not long enough.

When you have not seen your special friend in weeks and you only have two days, it’s not long enough.

When the end of the semester is moving closer, your unfinished papers are piling up, you wish you had more time because you realize it’s not long enough.

When your birthday celebrations seem to arrive more often than they should, you sense your days are numbered, you wish you could make the days last longer, because the time you have is not long enough.

James talks about the passing of time:

“Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.’” (James 4:13-15, NIV)

Sometimes life seems to move too fast. We wish we could slow it down. We wish we could make it last. We are here for only a short time. We have today. We cannot speed it up and we cannot slow it down. But, we are not helpless and our battle against time is not hopeless.

“Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.” (Ephesians 5:15-17, NIV)

You have today. It may move faster than you prefer. Try not to waste the time you have wishing you had more. Make the most of the opportunity you have today.

Tom

© Copyright 2013 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

 

Vol. 16 No. 41 | October 14, 2013

We have had a problem with ants. They keep coming back. When pest control service people came for the regularly scheduled application we mentioned that we had seen several ants around our kitchen sink and on the cabinets in that area. They spayed and said, “Call us if you see any more ants.”

We saw more more ants. We called. They suggested, “Try vinegar and water and if you still see ants call us.” We tried vinegar and water. We continued to see ants.

We called. The technician returned and used a different chemical. “That should take care of them, but if you see any more call us.”

We continued to see more, and more, and more. We called again. A new “Bug Man” came armed to wage war against the ants. When he walked in the door he exuded confidence and seemed excited about the battle. He began by catching one ant, smashing it between his thumb and forefinger and sniffing it to determine “the type of ant we are dealing with.” With great enthusiasm he explained that each ant gives off a special scent. Although he told me, I do not remember the type “we are dealing with.” He then proceeded to explain his technique for killing the ants, the chemical he was using, and how it worked. He shared that the ants hunt for food, then communicate with one another when they discover food.

After applying the new dose he began to watch and share how they “are taking the bait” and insisted that I come see a particular group that had swarmed and congregated just above the dishwasher. I am pretty sure he let out a “Yessir!” at this point.

I thanked him for his determination and knowledge. He thanked me for our business, once again explained the nature of the ant, explained what he had done and how it works, and assured me that “This should take care of the problem.”

As he walked to his truck I was reminded of the lesson, not a new lesson, but an old and familiar lesson: We have all been created by God and none of us are exactly the same.

The first verse of the Bible that introduces the creation story in Genesis 1:1 says, “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” As the story unfolds we see the detail and the uniqueness of every creature that God created. He created us all and He created us all exactly like He wanted us to be. Ants, humans, dogs and beautiful trees covered in the brilliant colors of autumn.

Thank you Larry, the Bug Man, for letting me watch you and listen to you and once again be reminded of what a good thing it is that God created us all to be different. No wonder when God finished His creation He said, “This is good.”

Tom

© Copyright 2013 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

Vol. 16 No. 40 | October 7, 2013

Do you ever wish you had a home on the range? You know, the range. Where never is heard a discouraging word. Ever wish you could live there?

We should never underestimate the power of a discouraging word. There is a reason discouraging words are called discouraging words…they discourage.

You’ve received them.

You played your best. You gave it all. You “left it all on the field.” You helped your team win the game. After the game your dad reminded you that you missed a couple of tackles.

You practiced and practiced for your part in the school play. You memorized all your lines. You performed well. You were dubbed the “Star of the show” in the school paper. On the drive home your mother pointed out that in one scene your collar was not laying down like it was supposed to.

You worked hard on the project. Logged more hours than on any job since joining the firm. You won the account. Your team goes out to celebrate a job well done. Your boss stops by to commend you for your leadership, but reminds you that the deal could have been closed much sooner if you had followed his initial suggestions.

You worked all afternoon on a special birthday dinner. All his favorites prepared just the way he likes them…just the way his mother always cooked them. You greet him at the door with his favorite drink and usher him to the table, and you’re wearing his favorite outfit. He eats. He seems to enjoy it. You are holding your breath. As he gets up from the table he mutters, “Oh, man! That took so long we missed the kickoff.”

You’ve given them.

Your daughter has worked hard to get the scholarships she needs to attend the college she has dreamed of attending. Your alma-mater. She is trying so hard to make you proud. She runs to you with her acceptance letter. You read the letter, hand it back to her and say, “Is that the only offer you’ve gotten?”

Your best friend calls you to tell you that she is engaged. She is excited and wanted you to be the first to know. You are excited and thank her for calling you, then quickly change the subject to your horrible bad day.

You know that your friend from church is having a tough time. His marriage is struggling. His job situation is tenuous. He recently lost his mother to cancer. He tries to keep up a good front, but you know he’s struggling. One day during lunch, he opens up and shares the whole story. You listen sympathetically but somewhat impatiently until he finally finishes. He asks you what you think. You respond by asking him, “How is your prayer life? Sounds like you need to be in the word more.”

You worked all afternoon on a special birthday dinner. All your favorites prepared just the way you like them…just the way your mother always cooked them. She greets you at the door with your favorite drink and usher you to the table, and she is wearing your favorite outfit. You eat. You enjoy it. She is holding her breath. As you get up from the table you mutter, “Oh, man! That took so long we missed the kickoff.”

We know the power of discouraging words. We’ve received our share and we’ve given our share. We know their pain when they are spoken to us. We find out too late the impact of our words on those we love. We try to ignore their power, but we cannot.

Let’s make this our “Home, Home on the Range” and encourage one another.

“But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called ‘Today,’ so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.”(Hebrews 3:13)

Tom

© Copyright 2013 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

 

Vol. 16 No. 39 | September 30, 2013

An old story is told of a man who was stranded on a deserted Pacific island for years. Finally one day a boat comes sailing into view, and the man frantically waves and draws the skipper’s attention. The boat comes near the island and the sailor gets out and greets the stranded man.

After a while the sailor asks, “What are those three huts you have here?”

“Well, that’s my house there.”

“What’s that next hut?” asks the sailor.

“I built that hut to be my church.”

“What about the other hut?”

“Oh, that’s where I used to go to church.”

The story speaks a sad truth about our commitment to and the ability, or inability, to get along with the people in our local church.

There are other stories that have less humor in them.

There are stories about churches splitting, splintering, and dividing. There are stories of congregations that manage to stay together, but are far from united and harmonious.

There are stories of churches that are filled with loving, caring and compassionate people who love each other and enjoy a vibrant fellowship and are making a significant impact in their community. Then, unfortunately, there are stories of these same congregations who end up losing members and losing their effectiveness because of a few people who decide things are not going the way they think it should and began to sow discord. The harmony disappeared. The vibrant and encouraging conversations that once were turned into tense discussions are laced with suspicion. People took sides. Accusations were made. Barriers went up.

There are stories of men, women, and children who went to these churches seeking the Lord only to be overlooked by church members who became more concerned about survival, making a point, and winning an argument than seeking the lost.

It did not have to be that way. The Kingdom would be better served if we listened and applied this teaching of Jesus:

“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one — I in them and you in me — so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. (John 17:20-23)

Make Jesus’ prayer your prayer. “Father, I pray for those who will believe in Jesus through the message we share that all of us may be one, Father, just as we are in Him and He is in you.”

Tom

© Copyright 2013 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

 

Vol. 16 No. 38 | September 23, 2013

Sometimes I like being ignored.

When I go to a new place and I am just looking around and checking things out…a hotel, a church, a business…I like to be able to move about where I choose and at my own pace. I like the freedom that being ignored allows. If I am in a coffee shop and I already have my coffee and I am doing my work, reading, or writing, I like the freedom that being ignored provides.

Father, help me give people the space they need, when they need it.

Sometimes I do not like being ignored.

When I go to a restaurant and do not get served as quickly as I think I should, I do not like being ignored. For instance, one time we were seated in a timely fashion and were handed a menu, but no one came to take our drink order, no one came to take our order, no one came to check on us. Numerous times servers passed by, looked at us as if to say, “I wonder who is waiting on those people?” to which my reply would have been had they stopped long enough to ask, “NO ONE IS WAITING ON US!”

I do not like to be ignored when I am in a store and cannot find what I am looking for. For instance, recently I went into a sporting goods store and went directly to the department where I needed to be. I could not find what I was looking for. I could not find anyone to help me. I did, however, come face to face with one employee (easily identifiable by the shirt and name tag he was wearing) who looked at me, smiled, and walked on as if to say, “You probably need some help, but I’m too busy making my way to the front of the store to stand around so people can see me.” I left the store thinking, “I do not like being ignored.”

I do not like being ignored when I am seeking employment. (No, I am not currently seeking employment, but there have been times in the past when I was.) For instance, in 1986 my wife and I traveled to a church in the eastern part of a state that begins with a “T” (not Tennessee) where we met with members of a search team, I preached, and we left. I have not heard from those folks yet. I guess they were not interested in us. If any of you folks from that church are reading this, I have a job now (thanks for asking). In a day like ours where there is an over-abundance of communication technology it only takes a moment to make a call or send an email stating, “Thank you for your interest, but we are continuing our search.” Or, “Thank you for your interest in our position, we have had some unexpected delays in the process. We will be getting in touch with you as soon as possible.”

Father, help me not get so busy, or act so busy, that it keeps people from asking me for help, or makes them feel that they are being ignored.

Sometimes being ignored is merely frustrating.

If I am trying to communicate something important to people I love and they ignore me, it frustrates me. When I am trying to conduct a meeting, initiate a discussion or start a class and people ignore me, it frustrates me. It is frustrating when someone calls me then puts me on hold, or when I am standing at a check-out station and the clerk answers a phone while I wait.

Father, help me not frustrate people by ignoring them when they are talking, and remind me not to leave a conversation I am having to answer my phone or reply to a text message.

I know in the big scheme of life this is pretty petty stuff. I have gotten over these times of being ignored (at least most of it…I do still sometimes wonder when I’ll hear from that church in the state that begins with at “T” and is not Tennessee), and I will get over it when it happens in the future. But, sometimes being ignored, or thinking I am being ignored, is more frustrating and inconvenient.

Sometimes the perception of being ignored by God really hurts.

It hurts when prayers seem to go unheard, not just unanswered. It hurts when God seems to be distant and uninterested in my needs. Jeremiah said, “Even when I call out or cry for help, he shuts out my prayer.” (Lamentations 3:8)

It hurts when I pray the same prayer over and over and over and get the same response: silence. Job said, “I cry out to you, God, but you do not answer; I stand up, but you merely look at me.” (Job 30:20) David said, “My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest.” (Psalm 22:2)

In my heart I know He hears me. Deep in my soul I know He will answer in His time and in His way. David reminds me, “Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice.” (Psalm 55:17)

I really do know that He cares about me. Again, David says, “I cry out to God Most High, to God, who vindicates me.” (Psalm 57:2) “Lord, you are the God who saves me; day and night I cry out to you.” (Psalm 88:1)

Even though I know, sometimes it hurts to feel ignored by God.

Father, help me not stop “crying out” to You in my distress and in times of delight, even when it appears that You are not listening, when You seem to be responding slower than I prefer, or when I do not like the way You respond.

Sometimes I am the one who ignores.

Sometimes I am busier than I need to be and unintentionally ignore those who are nearest and dearest to me. Sometimes I am so focused on my own needs and desires that I ignore the needs of others around me. Sometimes I am just plain rude and ignore people because I do not want to be bothered. Sometimes I become so demanding and narrowly focused on the immediate that I fail to see and acknowledge (translated, ignore) all the things God does for me, and has done for me, often before I even ask. Sometimes I put God on “hold” while I attend to the important matters of my life.

Father, I am sorry. I want to do better.

Here is a challenge. This week when you begin to feel, “I am being ignored and I don’t like this!” stop and remind yourself that you are not the only person in the room, that there are other people in the store, and that the world really does not revolve around you. It is possible that someone has a more pressing need than you. God may already be doing something that you cannot see, something that is “more than you can ask or imagine.” And, do your best to pay attention to the person God puts in your path. They may be feeling, “I am being ignored and I don’t like this!” and you may be the person God wants to reassure them that they are not.

If you will try this for a week, I suspect you will feel much better about yourself, your relationship with God, and the people you come in contact with.

(ONE MORE THING: Thanks for not ignoring this A Norvell Note.)

Tom

© Copyright 2013 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

 

Vol. 16 No. 37 | September 16, 2013

“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.“Hebrews 13:5

In my counseling training I was advised to tell the client, especially in marriage counseling, to avoid the words “always” and “never.” “You always say…” “You never do…” Use of those words creates a no-win situation. If you think, say, or feel that a person “always” and/or “never” does a certain thing, there is not much room for grace, and not much for for hope.

Although there is significant wisdom in that teaching, I am glad our Lord was above my training.

When I read, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you,” I find hope. It gives me hope to know that no matter how afraid, confused, and forgotten I may feel, He is always with me.

When I read, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you,” I find peace. It gives me peace to know that no matter how how fragile, foolish, and flippant I may be toward Him, He will never leave me.

When I read, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you,” I find comfort. It gives me great comfort knowing that although others will die, depart, and deny me, God will never leave me.

When I read, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you,” I find joy. It gives me great joy when I ponder the fact that I do not have to worry how He may respond to me tomorrow because He will respond to me tomorrow the same way He responded to me yesterday and today. He did not leave me. He will not leave me.

When I read, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you,” I find strength. It gives me are new and a renewed strength when I consider that no matter how fearful I am, no matter how big of a failure I may be, and no matter how fatigued I may become, He will not leave me and he will not forsake me.

When I read, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you,” I find relief. Whew! What a relief I have when I accept the reality that no matter what, no matter where, and no matter why He will never leave me and He will never forsake me.

When I read, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you,” I realize you and I are extremely blessed because we never have to doubt where He is or how He feels about us. He tells us, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” He made a promise we can trust and a promise He will keep.

He will never leave us; never forsake us. Thank You Father.

Tom

© Copyright 2013 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

 

Vol. 16 No. 36 | September 9, 2013

John chapter 13 ends and chapter 14 begins with a pretty emotional conversation between Jesus and His disciples. He has initiated a discussion revolving around His departure and reminding them that although He will be gone from them physically, He will still be with them and will be preparing for them to join Him at a later time.

Needless to say, His disciples are having a difficult time comprehending what He means about leaving, preparing a place, and knowing who He is and where He is going.

Peter says, “I’m going with you. I’ll die for you.”

He knows they are attached to Him and that their understanding is limited, so He tells them:

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.”

They still don’t understand. Thomas speaks up.

Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”

Jesus assures them that they do know the way even if they don’t realize the know the way.

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”

Philip chimes into the conversation in a way that reminds me of me when in verse 8 he said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will beenough for us.”

This is where I see myself. “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough.” But it is not. I want more. I want more explanation. I want more to be explained. I want more clarification. I want more time. I want more conversation. I want more evidence that everything is going to be okay. I want proof that He is working. I want clearer directions on what I am supposed to do and be and say. I may say, “That will be enough” but it seldom is enough.

Fortunately for me the conversation did not end there. In verse 16 Jesus said, “And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever—the Spirit of truth.” Later He says this Spirit of truth will “be in me” (20-21) and will “teach me all things” (26) and give me “peace” (27).

I find comfort in knowing, even when I feel like I do not know, He is helping me. I find comfort in knowing that He is with me and in me, even when I cannot feel or see or sense Him. I find comfort in knowing that His peace is available to me, even when I do not feel His peace.

So, here is my prayer.

Father, when You show me who You are and who the Father is and when You promise me that Your Spirit will be with me, and in me, and teaching me, and helping me, and offering me peace, I want more. Even when I see You, I want more. Even when I feel You, I want more. Lord, I always want more. I feel like I should not want more, but I want more. Thank You for loving me even when I want more.

Tom

© Copyright 2013 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

 

Vol. 16 No. 35 | September 2, 2013

You never know what lies behind the actions, words, or attitude of another human being unless somehow you are able to connect with them in a real and meaningful way. When we do not know we assume, we judge, and condemn. This story from Brennen Manning’s Abba’s Child illustrates it powerfully.

“Understanding triggers the compassion that makes forgiveness possible. Author Stephen Covey recalled an incident while riding the New York City subway one Sunday morning. The few passengers aboard were reading the newspaper or dozing. It was a quiet, almost somnolent ride through the bowels of the Big Apple. Covey was engrossed in reading when a man accompanied by several small children boarded at the next stop. In less than a minute, bedlam erupted. The kids ran up and down the aisle shouting, screaming, and wrestling with one another on the floor. Their father made no attempt to intervene.”“The elderly passengers shifted nervously. Stress became distress. Covey waited patiently. Surely the father would do something to restore order: a gentle word of correction, a stern command, some expression of paternal authority—anything. None was forthcoming. Frustration mounted. After an unduly generous pause, Covey turned to the father and said kindly, ‘Sir, perhaps you could restore order here by telling your children to come back and sit down.’ ‘I know I should do something,’ the man replied. ‘We just came from the hospital. Their mother died an hour ago. I just don’t know what to do.'” (Excerpt From: Manning, Brennan. Abba’s Child. NavPress, 2002. iBooks.)

Manning concludes the section with this statement: “The heartfelt compassion that hastens forgiveness matures when we discover where our enemy cries.”

Anything like that ever happen to you? A child is misbehaving, a teenager wearing baggy jeans that look like they might drop to the floor any second, the couple at the table next to you having an intense conversation that makes you and most of the other people in the restaurant uncomfortable, the clerk snaps at you when you ask a simple question, your spouse seems distant and irritable, or your child storms the table after spewing words that cut you to the core of your soul and breaks your heart.

Be very thoughtful with your next move. The life of the relationship depends on how you choose to respond.

You can assume the worst. “He’s such a jerk!” “She is so hateful!”

You can respond in kind. “You treat me like that and you’ll be sorry.” “Forget you!”

You can react with even worse words. “You ugly #%^*!” “You good-for-nothing lazy bum!”

There is another option.

When you are confronted with a person or a situation where your immediate and natural reaction or response is to judge, be critical or assume the absolute worst about the person, stop. Stop right there and consider that there is more to the story than you can possibly see. In time, you may be able to build a relationship with the person and learn the pain behind the defensive and non-trusting attitude. The guy did not start out like he is now. The woman did not plan for her life to be as painful as it is. The teenager did not wake up one morning say, “I am going be as mean, and selfish, and hard to get along with as I can possibly be for the rest of my life.’ Something happened.

As a follower of Jesus we do a great service when we take time to ask a few questions, not make a few assumptions, and move in as close as we can get to the person and listen to their story. It may take time (it usually does) to get close enough and show them that you can be trusted with their pain. It may never happen in some cases where the pain is so deep and so great. But, you will be transformed when you take the time, make the effort, and allow God to open your eyes to really see inside the person.

Something to keep in mind: Sometimes even when you know the back story, the guy is a jerk, she really is that hateful, and that couple actually is trying to manipulate you. That may be true. You cannot change who they are or the circumstances that made them the way they are. But, you can change how you think, feel, and respond to them. Some will not allow you inside their protective cover, but don’t stop hoping they will. If you push too hard they will run.

I am reminded of the people Jesus met who had been rejected by society. The woman at the well (John 4), the woman caught in adultery (John 8), the blind man (John 9), and others. Instead of joining the crowd and say, “You are worthless!” Jesus responded with gentle, loving words. Jesus started with forgiving eyes and tender touches. Jesus started by trying to understand the reason behind their cries.

You can do that too. You have His Spirit living in you. You have the opportunities to disarm an angry, hurting and broken man or woman or child or teenager who knows only pain, disappointment, and anger. You may be the one person God has placed in that person’s path to show them a different way. They may be the one person God has placed in your path to show you a different way.

Lead with love and compassion. Jesus did with you. Look what that has done in your life.

Tom

© Copyright 2013 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.