Vol. 17 No. 16 | April 20, 2015

You knew the day would come. You did not know when, but you knew it would come.

You knew the day would come when you would hold your newborn in your arms as you wept with gratitude for the blessing and prayed for wisdom to handle the responsibility.

You knew the day would come he looked at you and you knew he recognized you and that the smile was real and not just gas.

You knew the day would come when your little one would let go of your hand and start walking on her own.

You knew the day would come you would drive away from the school after releasing your first child to strangers and wondered what you would do the rest of the day, and then the day you left your last child you really wondered what you would do for the rest of the day…and the day after that.

You knew the day would come when your little girl would dress up like a princess and you would watch her and her friends pile into a limousine with a group of her friends as you prayed for her safe return.

You knew the day would come when you would see your son walk across the stage in his graduation regalia and you would realize his life and yours will never be the same.

You knew the day would come when after all the preparations had been completed the wedding music would begin and you would take your place in the processional and prepare to hear her say, “I do.”

You knew the day would come when you received a call from your son saying, “We’re headed to the hospital!” and you would rush to make new travel plans so you could be there to hold your grandchild and weep for the blessing of sharing the moment with your children and pray for the wisdom for them to be the parents, and you to be the grandparent this baby will need you all to be.

You knew the day would come when they all came for a visit and filled the house with conversation and laughter, then you would drop them off at the airport and go home to the quiet.

You knew the day would come you and your wife would look at each other and know without a word that she knows the joy and pain you have in your heart because it is the same joy and pain she has in hers.

You knew the day would come when you walk into one room for a specific purpose, but by the time you got there you had forgotten why you came.

You knew the day would come when you wake up in the morning and try to get out of bed only to discover that you have more aches and pains in places than you knew you places.

You knew the day would come when you get more updates on the health of friends than you do about their vacation adventures.

You knew the day would come when that chair at the end of the table and that chair in the living room would be forever empty.

You knew the day would come when the doctor would say that he has done all that he can do.
You did not know when, but you knew it would come. You knew the day would come when you would say the final goodbye.

For three years the followers of Jesus watched and listened and learned from their Master and He occasionally reminded them that the day would could when He would leave them. They did not know when. In their hearts the wanted to deny the reality of His words, but deeper in their hearts they knew that day would come. That day came.

Later, knowing that everything had now been finished, and so that Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, “I am thirsty.” A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus’ lips. When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. (John 19:28-30, NIV)

Then they remembered that He promised another day would come when He would leave the tomb. That day came: Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: “I have seen the Lord!” And she told them that he had said these things to her. (John 20:18, NIV)

Because of that day we know that a day will come when we will be welcomed into the presence of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. We will hear Him say, “Welcome home.”

You knew the day would come. What a day that will be!

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2015. Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved.

Vol. 17 No. 15 | April 13, 2015

I have decided to follow Jesus.
I have decided to follow Jesus.
I have decided to follow Jesus.
No turning back.
No turning back.*

Simple words to a simple song. I first sang those words as a freshman in college. As the years passed I would sing those words hundreds of times in devotionals, on retreats, during camp sessions, occasionally during a church assembly, and many times all alone in a car, in my study, or walking along a wooded path. These days when the song is mentioned it is usually in the context of “We used to sing this song.”

Repeating the words serves as a reminder of the inestimable importance of this decision. In times of temptation and struggle we remind ourselves: “I have decided to follow Jesus.” “I have decided to follow Jesus.” “I have decided to follow Jesus.” I can hear myself reminding myself: “I have decided to follow Jesus.” “I have decided to follow Jesus.” “I have decided to follow Jesus.”

Then, after being reminded of the decision made comes the reminder of the decision to be made: “No turning back. No turning back. I won’t turn back. I won’t turn back. I have decided to follow Jesus and I will not turn back.“

Jesus once told a story that emphasized how important the decision to follow Him is:

As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.”Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”

He said to another man, “Follow me.”

But he replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.”

Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”

Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.”

Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:57-62, NIV)

I suspect most of you reading these words have made the decision, to one degree or another, to follow Jesus. Congratulations on that decision! My prayer is that you are living the life to the fullest.

If you find yourself in difficult circumstances of temptation and struggles, take a moment and sing this simple little song as a reminder of your decision. “You have decided to follow Jesus. You have decided to follow Jesus. You have decided to follow Jesus.” Remind yourself of that decision. Remember the moment when you made that decision. Then, tell yourself: “No turning back. No turning back. I will not turn back!”

Say it one more time with meaning: “I have decided to follow Jesus. No turning back.”

Tom
© Copyright 2015 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

——–
* From hymnary.org: About 150 years ago, there was a great revival in Wales, England. As a result of this, many missionaries came from England and Germany to North-East India to spread the Gospel. At the time, north-east India was not divided into many states as it is today. The region was known as Assam and comprised hundreds of tribes. The tribal communities were quite primitive and aggressive by nature. The tribals were also called head-hunters because of a social custom which required the male members of the community to collect as many heads as possible. A man’s strength and ability to protect his wife was assessed by the number of heads he had collected. Therefore, a youth of marriageable age would try and collect as many heads as possible and hang them on the walls of his house. The more heads a man had, the more eligible he was considered. Into this hostile and aggressive community, came a group of Welsh missionaries spreading the message of love, peace and hope of Jesus Christ. Naturally, they were not welcomed. One Welsh missionary succeeded in converting a man, his wife, and two children. This man’s faith proved contagious and many villagers began to accept Christianity. Angry, the village chief summoned all the villagers. He then called the family who had first converted to renounce their faith in public or face execution. Moved by the Holy Spirit, the man instantly composed a song which became famous down the years. He sang:
“I have decided to follow Jesus. (3 times)No turning back, no turning back.”
Enraged at the refusal of the man, the chief ordered his archers to arrow down the two children. As both boys lay twitching on the floor, the chief asked, “Will you deny your faith? You have lost both your children. You will lose your wife too.”
But the man sang these words in reply: “Though no one joins me, still I will follow. (3 times) No turning back, no turning back.”
The chief was beside himself with fury and ordered his wife to be arrowed down. In a moment she joined her two children in death. Now he asked for the last time, “I will give you one more opportunity to deny your faith and live.”
In the face of death the man sang the final memorable lines: “The cross before me, the world behind me. (3 times)No turning back, no turning back.”
He was shot dead like the rest of his family. But with their deaths, a miracle took place. The chief who had ordered the killings was moved by the faith of the man. He wondered, “Why should this man, his wife and two children die for a Man who lived in a far-away land on another continent some 2,000 years ago? There must be some supernatural power behind the family, and I too want that supernatural power.”
In a spontaneous confession of faith, he declared, “I too belong to Jesus Christ!” When the crowd heard this from the mouth of their chief, the whole village accepted Christ as their Lord and Savior.

-Dr. P.P. Job and Indian preacher in His book “Why God Why”

Vol. 17 No. 14 | April 6, 2015

As I waited for the light to change I saw the man selling papers. I see him in the same location on a regular basis. He always smiles a friendly smile. He always waves a friendly wave. He walks along the line of cars then turns around and comes back to his original station. What was his life like before he came to sell papers on the street? Where is his family? Do they know he is on the street? Do they care? I wonder about his story.

She comes into the sanctuary just as we are beginning each week. She sits in the very back, near an exit. She seems to know most of the songs we sing and appears to enjoy the time in the assembly. But as we are singing the invitation song she quietly slips out unnoticed. I wonder about her story.

If I were to describe him I would use words like rugged, strong, hard, and calloused. None of those would refer to his physical appearance, but his demeanor. My impression is that if I were to ask him about his life he would say something like, “Oh, I’ve been around.” That would be it. His answer would be saying, “I doubt you really want to know my story.” But, I do. I wonder about his story.

He comes to church with his parents. He sits with them and stays pretty close to them before and after. Occasionally one of the other children will approach him and invite him to play with them. He always declines and stays close to his mother. He does not really appear to be afraid, but he is not confident enough to venture away. I later learn that he is adopted. I was already wondering about his story, now I wonder about it even more.

Her parents’ marriage crumbled when she was very young. Most of her life has been spent going from one parent to the other. Two sets of grandparents. Two different homes. Juggling the holidays and summer vacations. Always trying to be the good girl that never caused trouble. Now, in her late teens, she tries to find her way through the world and tries to discover who she is. When we have talked she has a look in her eyes that says she wonders where this life she has lived is going to lead and she wonders who she will be when her story comes to an end. I, too, wonder about her story and where her life will take her.

She is just a child. She is sweet. She is innocent. She is loved and nurtured and protected and nourished by the best parents anyone one could ever ask for. She has a vivid imagination and an abundance of energy. I watch her and I marvel at the story God is weaving with her, for her, and through her.

He was in his early twenties when I met him. He was troubled. He was angry. He acted tough and wanted everyone to think he was tough. Getting beyond the walls of his heart required something I did not have. We spent some time together and I did what I could, then he disappeared. I often wonder about where he is, how he is, and if he is. I wonder if he has ever been able to make sense of his story.

As I wonder about these people, I am in awe that God has allowed me to have a glimpse into their lives. For some I have played a minor role in their story. For others I have had a greater influence, just as they have influence me. They have all touched me, and challenged me, and blessed me, and opened the eyes of my heart to remind me there is more — much more — to this life than I can see. They have all reminded me that there is more — much more — to this life than me.

We all have a story. Although we may sometimes wonder about where our story is leading, or how it is being written, and why it has not taken on a different theme, we do not need to wonder about one thing: He has always been involved, graciously shaping us into the image of His Son.

For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. (Romans 8:29, NIV)

Tom

© Copyright 2015 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

Vol. 17 No. 13 | March 30, 2015

Sometimes I do not know what to say. I marvel at these words from the man of wisdom: “Not only was the Teacher wise, but he also imparted knowledge to the people. He pondered and searched out and set in order many proverbs. The Teacher searched to find just the right words, and what he wrote was upright and true.” (Ecclesiastes 12:9-10, NIV)

He is considered the wisest man who ever lived, so I would not attempt to compete or compare because sometimes I just do not know what to say.

Sometimes when I sit down to write these Notes I don’t down what to say. Words seem far away. Ideas seem unreachable. If you are a regular reader you can probably detect those articles. This is one of those times. The Teacher “also imparted knowledge to the people.” Sometimes I don’t feel like I have much knowledge to impart.

Sometimes I do not know what to say when a mother and father come to me with stories of a son or a daughter who has chosen a life apart from God. I listen to the words of the broken hearts. They ask for guidance. They ask for prayer. I show them as much compassion and kindness as possible, but I do not always know what to say.

Sometimes a couple shares their concerns for their relationship. They once were close; now they are distant. Once they could not be apart; now they have difficulty being in the same room. They once were deeply in love; now they have trouble saying the word. I may share a book. I may offer to schedule a few sessions with them to work through their issues. Sometimes I do not know what to say.

Sometimes a man will tell me how miserable he is with his job. He works long hours to provide for his family, but he hates where he works and he hates some of the things he has to do to keep his job. He never dreamed he would end up in this kind of a situation. He asks me for direction. He pleads with me for help. I pray with him. When he is gone I pray for him again. But I do not have many words for him.

I hear of churches that seem to have lost their way. I hear the distress and sadness in the voices of some of the members. I see the concern and pain in their faces. They ask for prayers. So I pray. They ask for advice. I have none. They ask for direction. I pray for them. They ask for answers. I do not have answers. Sometimes I do not know what to say.

I hear fellow preachers who have grown weary, even more weary than me, and are considering leaving the ministry for something else. I hear men who have left the ministry describe how they wish they could find a way to continue. They ask for ideas. I have none. They ask for suggestions of where they might preach. I have none. Sometimes I do not know what to say.

Sometimes I do not know what to say. Sometimes I do not have words, but tonight I do. Better yet, the Holy Spirit knows what needs to be said.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?

As it is written:
“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:26-39, NIV)

Tom

© Copyright 2015 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

Vol. 17 No. 12 | March 23, 2015

Create in me a pure heart, O God,and renew a steadfast spirit within me. (Psalm 51:10, NIV)

Create in me a pure heart, O God. You must do it. I cannot do it on my own. I have tried, O God. Perfect church attendance has not accomplished it. Reading and memorizing Scripture has not accomplished it. Recounting all my years of preaching and teaching has not accomplished it. Keeping a record of all the good things I have done to help other people has not accomplished it. Living with guilt and shame over all the bad things I have done has not accomplished it. I have done all I know to do to create a pure heart and my heart is not yet pure. Father, will You please create in me a pure heart.

Create in me a pure heart, O God. I have tried to clean my heart and make it pure. I do okay for a while, then I find I am right back where I started. It seems as if I never really did much cleaning or purifying. A pure heart? That sounds almost too good to be true. Or, as someone has said about Your grace and mercy, “Maybe it’s too good not to be true.” Lord, I want a pure heart. I want a clean heart. I want a heart that is filled with things that are pure, not the impurities of the day.

And renew a steadfast spirit within me. Lord, my spirit is weary. It needs renewing. I need a new start. A clean start. Again, I have tried to renew my spirit by doing all the right things. That helps some. I see the value in praying, reading Your Word, fasting, and spending time in with Christian people, but my spirit still seems dry.

And renew a steadfast spirit within me. My spirit is not very strong. My spirit is not very solid. My spirit is not very steady. Flimsy would be a better description. I tend to drift along with the wind. If I am not very, very careful I can be swayed and persuaded and distracted from where and who I should be pretty easily. Father, steady my spirit.

And renew a steadfast spirit within me. I know that it is within me to live as You would have me to live. It is within me because You are in me. You live in me. Because You are within me, know I can be strong, I can be steady, and I will experience renewal. So, Father, please renew my spirit from deep within me.

I am with You, Father. I belong to You. I am weak and weary and I am a wanderer. But, if You create in me a pure heart and renew a steadfast spirit within me, I will praise You and tell of Your wonderful ways.

Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Tom

© Copyright 2015 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

Vol. 17 No. 11 | March 16, 2015

I have altered this illustration from The Grace of God by William MacDonald, just a bit to fit a little easier in our current economic situation. MacDonald wrote:

Imagine you have been invited to the White House by the President of the United States. You are seated at a table filled with the choicest foods. Every effort has been made to give you the most enjoyable evening. At the end of a lovely visit, the president stands at the front door to bid you good-bye.What do you do? As you leave, do you press a $20 dollar bill in his hand and say, “Thank you very much for your kindness. I have enjoyed the evening very much. I realize it has cost you a lot of money, and I want to help you pay for the meal”?

Is that the proper response to his kindness? On the contrary, it is a rude and insulting gesture. So it would be with God’s grace and how He has demonstrated His love for us.

Here is the application.

You have come to the end of your life and as you reach the gate into Heaven you are greeted there by God. As He is greeting you with “Well done good and faithful…” you interrupt him and hand him a list showing all the good things you have done in your life. As you show Him your list you say, “I know this has cost You a lot. I want to show You that I have done my part to help pay for it.”

It is as if, after considering all that God has done for you in demonstrating His love for you, you hand Him $20 worth of your own efforts and say, “I know this cost You a lot. I want to do my part to help pay for it.”

“I want to do my part to help pay for it.”

Question: How much is your part?

I chose a $20 dollar bill for the illustration because for most of us twenty dollars is a lot of money. If it is not now, it once was a lot of money. We hand God our $20 list of good deeds and expect Him to be impressed. We expect Him to say, “Why thank you. I could not have done it without you.”

That may not be what He says. He may instead say something like this. “Thank you very much for the good life you have lived. That shows me that you appreciated what I did for you by sending my one and only Son into the world. You know, when I allowed Him to die for you on that horrible day on that horrible cross, I did that for you. I let Him die for you. When His blood was spilled on that cross, your sins were covered. You were set free. Your entire debt was paid. I really do not need your list. I know what you have done. And, although I wish you could have relaxed a little while you were living in the world and not worried so much about doing all the right things and not doing all the wrong things, I am still glad you are here. Although I wish you could have trusted my love for you enough to enjoy the abundant life I provided for you more fully, I do love you and I really am glad you are finally here with me. Welcome home.”

Tom

© Copyright 2015 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

Vol. 17 No. 10 | March 9, 2015

Do We Really Not Know? 

We have been going to church all our lives. We have listened to hundreds, maybe thousands of sermons. We have attended conferences, workshops, seminars, and small group studies all designed to help us share our story of faith with other people. We have accumulated all that information and still we act like we do not know what they need.

We have resources at our fingertips that can help us understand our neighbors and give us insight into what life is like outside of the walls of our church buildings. We read books on understanding our times and we pride ourselves in knowing our communities and yet we still act like we do not know what the people in our communities need.

We read our Bibles and pray our prayers and sing our songs and offer to help by saying, “If there is anything we can do for you please let us know.” We have our times of fellowship, we pat one another on the back, we shake hands and ask, “How are you doing?” and sometimes they tell us. We know people are hurting and we know they are in need and yet we act like we do not know what they need.

Obviously these scenarios are not always true. Not all churches and not all Christians act like we do not know what people need, but many do. Do we really not know?

Do we really not know that marriages that are in trouble need help learning better and more effective ways to communicate and become better at managing their money, or us solid Biblical teaching about being married?

Do we really not know that parents who are having trouble with their teenage son or daughter need help understanding what life is like for a teenager, need help knowing how to communicate with their teen, and learning what it means to be a parent?

Do we really not know that the family of a fifteen year old boy who was shot in his own driveway needs help dealing with the shock, anger, and pure sadness that comes with such a loss?

Do we really not know that the family of the eleven year old boy responsible for the shooting need help as they deal with the confusion, the guilt, and the loss of their son being taken from them?

Do we really not know that the woman who lost her husband after fifty years of marriage needs help to move through the grieving progress?

Do we really not know that a teen age girl dealing with all the pressures of being a teenage girl needs a mother, or a grand mother, or another godly woman to invite her into life where a relationship of trust and understanding can grow?

Do we really not know? As followers of Jesus, after reading of His life, after knowing how He lived and loved and served and touched people, do we really not know? Maybe if we remember what He came to do it might help us remember.

Jesus returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit, and news about him spread through the whole countryside. He was teaching in their synagogues, and everyone praised him.

He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom. He stood up to read, and the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written:

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me,

because he has anointed me

to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners

and recovery of sight for the blind,

to set the oppressed free,

to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”

Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him. He began by saying to them, “Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.” (Luke 4:14-23, NIV).

Do we really not know?

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2015. Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved.

Vol. 17 No. 09 | March 2, 2015

I can remember the first “store bought” hamburger I ever ate. It was from Dad’s in Hope, Arkansas. I think we could get 5 for $1. The burger consisted of a bun, a thin hamburger patty, onions (lots of onions), and mustard. You could eat in (if you were a white person) by going to the window ordering your burger and sitting at a picnic table on a sawdust floor under the tin roof attached to the main building. If your skin was black you had to order from a window in the back of the building. I do not know if there was a picnic table. As I recall the menu consisted of these items: Hamburgers. If they had other items, I never knew it. The burgers were thin, greasy and covered with chopped onions. You usually smelled like onions after eating a burger. If you went to Dad’s you knew what you were getting: a hamburger. They did hamburgers well. (At least I thought they did.) It was a big deal for my family to “eat out” at Dad’s.

Things have changed. There are not many Dad’s around.

Restaurants that once specialized in certain items have changed. One burger place advertises more about gourmet coffee than burgers. It seems that a number of burger places are more interested in promoting their fish sandwiches, or their chicken sandwiches. One very popular pizza place highlights their brownies, not their pizza. When watching some perfume or cologne commercials you must watch very closely to understand what is being advertised. With some, even if you watch closely, you may still not understand. The same is true for some automobile commercials. I often find myself after some of these ads saying, “Whaaaaat?”

Things have changed. Is it too much to ask for hamburger businesses to sell hamburgers? Before I get too carried away with my nostalgic lament, let me admit that folks in my profession may be equally guilty. I wonder if people looking for a church might ask the same question, “Whaaaaat?”

Type “churches in my area” in your web browser and see what you get. Most likely you will have numerous options for additional searches. Churches of all names and sizes and brands. If you investigate further you are likely to find even more puzzling information. This church focuses on this. This church focuses on that. This church has this kind of worship. That church has that kind of worship. This group emphasizes these things. That church emphasizes those things. This church boosts of being enough for everyone to find a place. That church boosts of being small enough for everyone to feel at home. This church has this kind of preacher. That church has another kind of preacher. “Whaaaaat?”

Don’t misunderstand. As much as I would enjoy a good old Dad’s hamburger (or 5 for $1), I am glad we have other choices. My tastes for burgers have changed. The same is true for spiritual needs. Churches that met my needs as a teenager or young adult would not have the same appeal today. Churches that offer me spiritual nourishment might not offer anything worthwhile to someone decades younger than me.

The diversity is good. We like options. We value choices. We are all different. We have different needs and tastes and preferences.

There is one thing, however, that I believe is constant and necessary as we scan the globe for a spiritual community. What is it? Christ.

Paul said it as he explained his situation in prison as he talked of different motives and different preaching that was going on. “But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.” (Philippians 1:18, NIV)

That is what I look for in a church. Christ is preached. That is one thing I will not compromise. Christ is preached. That is one of my goals for where I preach and teach. Christ is preached.

Styles change. Preferences differ. Opinions are cheap. The emphasis we place on different methods and approaches to sharing the message are going to vary according to the context of the community and the make-up of the church. But please, I beg you, let Christ be preached.

This week I hope you find a good burger, a nice slice of pizza, and especially a church where Christ is preached.

Tom

© Copyright 2015 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

Vol. 17 No. 08 | February 23, 2015

Like many around the country the winter weather of the past week has either forced us to be confined to our home (Oh, don’t you just hate it when that happens!), off the streets and roads, or at the very least to alter our regular schedule of activity. (That’s for you folks up to the north who cannot understand how an inch or two of ice and/or snow can create such chaos.) We have sat by the fire, watching movies, listening to music, worked (or played) on our computers and mobile devices, and been amazed at how many times the weather forecasters can remind you that we have a “Winter Weather Alert in effect for your area.”

I have been reminded of stories of the good old days when “if we wanted entertainment we’d go downtown and watch the traffic light change.” This week part of our entertainment has been to look out our windows and doors, marvel at the beauty of the sun’s reflection on the snow and ice, check the current temperature, comment on how long the icicles have gotten, and wonder when the ice will melt. Well, slowly but surely it is melting (although as I write there are predictions of more on the way for this afternoon and tonight).

One of the things that happens when the ice melts is that we start moving again. We move slowly at first to make sure we have solid ground upon which to stand, walk, or drive. Once we are convinced it is safe we begin to move more freely and with greater confidence.

The same happens with relationships.

A relationship begins with a simple, “Hello, my name is Tom.” The other person responds in like manner and the usual chit-chat begins that includes where you are from, where you work, your family status, and maybe a few other significant facts about yourself. The ice has been broken. Then, there’s that long awkward space in time where you and/or the person is deciding if the relationship will go any further, or if it will end having shared those few basic facts.

Sometimes, not always, the broken ice begins to melt and conversation continues. You are interested in this person. You feel comfortable with the person and see potential in pursuing a relationship, so you continue the conversation. The ice melts and a relationship is born.

Once the relationship is born, assuming that the relationship is nurtured and given space to develop, it will grow and mature as one would expect. This is a wonderful season for relationships. Rich times of enjoyment are common. Memories are made as the life-long relationship continues to thrive. The relationship, though solid and enjoyable, is still fragile.

One day something happens. The ice that had melted refreezes. You experience hurt feelings, betrayal, struggles with life, or distractions. The closeness begins to separate and the relationship becomes distant and disconnected. The ice hardens.

“I want the ice to melt again!” you cry.

Start with an acknowledgement that something has happened, something has changed, the warmth has been replaced with coldness. Sometimes simply the honesty of acknowledgement can begin the melting process.

Deal with the problem. Try not to blame or criticize or judge or assume. Attack the problem; not the person. Do whatever it takes to thaw the ice. Long hours of conversation, prayer, listening and understanding.

Apply forgiveness as needed. Request it. Offer it. All the power of forgiveness to do what nothing else can do: provide the atmosphere where healing can take place. Without forgiveness the ice will never melt.

The temperatures have risen above the freezing mark today. Rain is falling. The ice and snow are slowly melting. Before long movement will take place and life will get back to normal. (Whatever that is.) There is hope that warmer weather and the flowers of spring are not far away.

May your relationships this week be filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and self-control!

Tom

© Copyright 2015 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

Vol. 17 No. 07 | February 16, 2015

 
Let’s review. A few weeks ago I wrote about not being in such a hurry in “What’s the Hurry?”. The next week I switched gears and wrote about “What Are You Waiting For?” And last week I wrote, “What Are You Waiting For Church?” In each of those article I wanted to challenge us to think about our motives, our actions, or in some cases, our lack of action in answering Jesus’ call to be the salt and light. This week I want to bring the idea even closer to home by asking us to look even deeper into our souls by asking “What am I waiting for?”

I know a young couple who have been married a couple of years, live far from any immediate family, and are both working hard and under a heavy load of stress. They have a good group of friends and are involved in a solid spiritual community. During the last few weeks I have noticed a change. Nothing major, but enough to signal that something is not right. I have a choice. I can ignore it and assume they are simply going through the adjustments of marriage. Or, I can invite them to our home for a meal, tell them how much we love them, and offer them listening ears, caring hearts, whatever help we can from our years of experience. What am I waiting for?

I have known this couple for years. We have enjoyed dinners together. We have attended sporting events. We have watched movies together. We have talked about our marriages, our family histories, our children, our concerns for the world and the future, and had seriously challenging spiritual conversations. Busy schedules, distance, and lack of communication has taken a toll on our once extremely close relationship. I can write it up as just the way of relationships or I can contact them to set a time to get together and once again enjoy the closeness of a truly lifelong friend. What am I waiting for?

Every week I attend multiple church gatherings, read multiple passages of scripture, listen to multiple recordings of spiritual songs, sermons, devotional thoughts, and read multiple Christian-related articles, read portions Christian books, and when possible attend lectures by well known Christian speakers. Every week I teach classes, preach sermons, write articles, counsel people all with the intent of encouraging people to love God and live like Jesus. Every week I tell myself I am going to do better at practicing the things I encourage others to practice, and every week I wish I had done better. I can go through another week waiting to live more like Jesus or I can start today. What am I waiting for?

I have an opportunity to make a difference in someone’s life every day. It may be someone I know well, it may be someone I have recently met, it may be a church member, it may be a person who is waiting on me or providing a service that makes my life better. I can be creative and do something that is unexpected, say a kind encouraging word, or I can let the opportunities pass and look back on the day and wish I had done better. What am I waiting for?

Every day God gives us the opportunity to improve our life, lift the spirits of another, share the Good News, and just be Jesus. What am I waiting for?

I want to try not to wait to do and be what God is calling me to be. If you do the same, and encourage someone else to do the same imagine what a difference we can make.

Tom
© Copyright 2015 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.