A Norvell Note

Vol. 16 | No. 26 

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God — this is your true and proper worship.” (Romans 12:1, New International Version)

“And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.” (Romans 12:1, The New Living Translation)

“Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.”(Romans 12:1, New American Standard)

“So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life — your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life — and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him.”(Romans 12:1, The Message)

“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.” (Romans 12:1, King James Version)

I shared these five different versions of this verse (and I consulted several others) because I was looking for the translation, paraphrase, or version that says that our worship only happens on Sunday morning in a pew inside a church building. I know it has to be there, I have heard it all my life. But where does it say that? Oh well.

If I understand this passage, worship happens when I give myself to God. If that is the case and if I have given myself to God, then it seems logical that my entire life is worship. I suppose that’s why Eugene Peterson (The Message) said, “Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering.”

What does that mean? That means…

When you are at your job, driving to your job, listening to a co-worker share their pain about their struggling marriage you are worshipping.

When you are putting your children to bed, and fixing them breakfast, and driving them to school, or changing a diaper, or kissing a boo-boo you are worshipping.

When you are playing softball, or coaching little league, or sitting in the parking lot waiting for practice to end you are worshipping.

When you are teaching algebra, or repairing a carburetor, or preparing a meal for a sick friend you are worshipping.

When helping your mom carry in the groceries, or babysitting your little brother, or walking your dog you are worshipping.

When you are sitting alone on the beach, or hiking a mountain trail, or watching a sunset you are worshipping.

“Take your everyday, ordinary life — your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life” and enjoy your life of wholehearted worship to God.

Tom

© Copyright 2013 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

Vol. 16 No. 25 | June 24, 2013

Life in the Kingdom begins when I give myself to God. One could be motivated to make the decision for any number of reasons: to go to heaven; to escape hell; because someone told you should do it. Paul gives another motivation: God’s mercy.

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God — this is your true and proper worship.” (Romans 12:1, NIV)

“In view of God’s mercy.” Look at God’s mercy. What do you see? Think of God’s mercy. What comes to mind? Ponder God’s mercy, then give yourself to God.

God’s mercy: “A quality of compassion, especially as expressed in God’s forgiveness of human sin. Scripture stresses God’s forbearance towards sinners. In his mercy, God shields sinners from what they deserve and gives gifts that they do not deserve.” (Dictionary of Bible Themes)

In view of God’s compassion that is expressed in His forgiveness of human sin, give yourself to God.

Aaaaah! That makes sense. Not because you are forced to. Not out of guilt. Not to earn your way to heaven. Not to show that you deserve it. You give yourself to God because of what He has done for you.

“If God’s mercy in salvation has been presented in chapters 1–11, then the response of those receiving God’s mercy begins in chapter 12.” (Holman’s New Testament Commentary: Romans)

Although he phrased it a bit differently in Ephesians 2, Paul gives that church the same message:

As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. (Ephesian 2:1-5, NIV)

How else can we respond? Why would we respond any other way?

We were dead in our sins. He made us alive because He was rich in mercy. We were lost. He saved. We were far from Him. He brought us close.

When we think of the mercy God has shown toward us we want to give our hearts to Him. When someone loves us like He loves us we want to serve Him. When we have been rescued we want to express our gratitude as often as possible. When the Creator of the universe has shown His great mercy to us we fall before Him and say, “Here I am. I am Yours. Use me. Shape me into the image You have planned for me.”

Some time this week find a quiet place and spend a few minutes reflecting on God’s mercies. Thank Him for His great mercy. Rejoice with Him that He has been merciful. Praise Him for the forgiveness of your sins.

Then, if you have not already done so, give Him your life.

Tom

© Copyright 2013 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

Vol. 16 No. 24 | June 17, 2013

Where do you fit in the Body of Christ? Do you realize that you do have a place? Are there things you can do, or not do, that will help create or enhance the life you and others experience in your community of faith? Are you looking for ways to encourage your friends and family in their spiritual walk? Romans 12 is filled with practical, valuable teaching that can help all of us as we live in the Kingdom.

The teaching begins in verse one with these words:“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.” (Romans 12:1, NIV)

“Offer your bodies.” This is where you start. This is the decision of a lifetime. Once this decision has been made all other decisions are made from a different perspective. Unless this decision is made all other decisions are made from a different perspective. It is an important decision.

Notice how Eugene Peterson states: “So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life — your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life — and place it before God as an offering.” (Romans 12:1, The Message)

“Place it before God as an offering.” Give yourself to God. All of yourself. Everything you have. Give Him your heart, soul, mind, strength, attitude, talent, vocation, reputation, and possessions.

That sounds like too much to ask, doesn’t it? If we will remember that all that we have with our “everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life” really does not belong to us it makes it easier. God is the Giver of life. He is the One who made us in His image, and is simply trying to help us get back to that image of Him. He longs for us to be like Him. We will never be like Him as long as we hold on to the things that we have come to believe are what make us significant.

He knows that real life comes when we surrender our will and the control of our lives to Him. As long as we pretend that we have the answers and can figure out what His will is on our own, we will never find it. His answers and the peace of knowing His will come when we allow Him to be in complete control.

“My heart, my mind, my body, my soul, I give, to You. Take control. I give my body a living sacrifice. Lord, take control. Take control.”

Would you like to have a better church? Give yourself to God. Would like to experience a deeper worship experience? Give yourself to God. Would you like to sense God’s presence in your life in new and fresh ways? Give yourself to God.

Tom

© Copyright 2013 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

 

Vol. 16 No. 23 | June 10, 2013

“What will I listen to?” That question is asked when I get in my car and drive to the office, when I head out to lunch, when I go across town, when I sit at my desk, when I am taking a walk, and back home at the end of the day. Listening to good music soothes my soul, calms my spirit, and helps relieve tension. Not all music is appropriate for all times and settings. Some days I like to turn the volume up with an “oldie but goodie.” Some days I prefer the calmer, quieter music of movie soundtracks. Some days I do not know what I want so I ask, “What will listen to?” Some days I prefer the quiet.

I also ask, “What, or whom, will I listen to?” in other settings that have nothing to do with music.

When making major decisions I have options when it comes to listening. There are those who tell me, “This is what you need to do.” There are those who tell me, “You do not want to do this!” Others will tell me to “wait”, while another will say, “Act fast!” Some offer the voice of reason; some offer ideas and solutions that are far-fetched and impossible to accomplish. Who will I listen to?

In dealing with relationships there is a vast number of messages longing to be heard. “This book says this.” “This expert says something entirely different.” The people involved in the relationship say one thing, and objective bystanders with nothing to lose say something else. What will listen to?

When it comes to work, success, and a fulfilling life there is no absence of choices when it comes to offering wisdom. Those who have gone before offer their life experiences. Those who have failed miserably offer their advice and make their excuses. Those who have never worked, never known success, and are looking for a similar fulfillment like to say, “Here is what you need to do.” What will I listen to?

The Scriptures are not silent on the importance of listening.

The wise man of Proverbs makes his case:

To answer before listening — that is folly and shame. (Proverbs 18:13)Stop listening to instruction, my son, and you will stray from the words of knowledge. (Proverbs 19:27)

In Luke’s account of Paul speaking to the intellectuals of his day he wrote:

“You are bringing some strange ideas to our ears, and we would like to know what they mean.” (All the Athenians and the foreigners who lived there spent their time doing nothing but talking about and listening to the latest ideas.)Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said: “People of Athens! I see that in every way you are very religious. For as I walked around and looked carefully at your objects of worship, I even found an altar with this inscription: to an unknown god. So you are ignorant of the very thing you worship — and this is what I am going to proclaim to you.

“The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything. Rather, he himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else. From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’

“Therefore since we are God’s offspring, we should not think that the divine being is like gold or silver or stone — an image made by human design and skill. In the past God overlooked such ignorance, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent. For he has set a day when he will judge the world with justice by the man he has appointed. He has given proof of this to everyone by raising him from the dead.”

When they heard about the resurrection of the dead, some of them sneered, but others said, “We want to hear you again on this subject.” At that, Paul left the Council. Some of the people became followers of Paul and believed. Among them was Dionysius, a member of the Areopagus, also a woman named Damaris, and a number of others. (Acts 17:20-34)

Every day we have a choice about what we will listen to. The choice of music can determine a mood and perhaps alter our attitude. The voices of wisdom may determine the course of our lives and the direction of a relationship. What are you listening to? Who are you listening to? Be discerning. Be wise. Listen carefully. If you need to change the playlist, do not wait too long. It may determine how you live in this life and in the life to come. (Keep in mind, of course, this is just one option for you to choose from.)

Then Jesus said, “Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.” (Mark 4:9)

Tom

© Copyright 2013 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

Vol. 16 No. 22 | June 3, 2013

For the life of my two mobile devices (iPhone and iPad) I have had protective covers on both. I was afraid the beautiful clear glass would get scratched. After two years the cover on my iPhone got so scratched up that I decided to replace it with a new cover. Carefully, I peeled the old cover off with the new one nearby and ready.

Once the old cover was off I was absolutely amazed at how clear, clean, and fresh the phone looked. It looked almost brand new! I could hear Johnny Nash singing I Can See Clearly Now in the background. The protective cover went into the trash. Needless to say, the cover came off the iPad as well. What a difference it makes when you see remove the protective cover!

I wonder what other ways fear has caused me to apply a protective cover to create a distorted image and miss blessings that were available to me?

When I meet new people do I have a fear-filter that causes me to see and hear what others have said about them? Do I allow preconceived ideas and prejudices to determine how I react or respond to them? Do my defense mechanisms cause me to be defensive and cautious? Do my assumptions prevent me from seeing anything new about them?

Do I view my relationships through a protective coating? Never quite sure if people are genuine? Always wondering if they can be trusted? Or, do I put the protective cover over me so they do not see me as I really am? Am I afraid to let them see the real me? Do I do this (or try to do this) with God?

When I am in a strange place does the fear of what I have heard about that area cause me to be guarded and so cautious that I miss the beauty of what is right in front of me? Do I allow the fear of what may or may not happen paralyze me?

When problems, obstacles, and challenges confront me do I allow my fear of making a mistake to keep me from doing anything? Do I allow my fear of failure to keep me from experiencing a new adventure? Do my past experiences determine my future decisions?

What about when I read Scripture? Am I afraid that I might see something I have never seen? Am I afraid that a new understanding will force me to change not only my thinking, but also my lifestyle? Am I so concerned about maintaining the status quo that I ignore truths that I have never seen? Am I so concerned about offending someone that I refuse to acknowledge what God is saying to me? To them? To the church?

Of course there is a place and time to heed the warnings, to listen to those who caution us, and to refrain from ill-advised activity. But, fear can keep us from seeing truth when it is right in front of us. Fear can prevent us from doing good when we know we should act. Fear can blind us to blessings, opportunities, and life abundantly.

Fear is a killer! But, it does not have to be. Scripture says,

“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” (1 John 4:16-18, NIV)

Here is a suggestion: Take the protective cover off. Be confident in the God who created you. He has empowered you to not only know the difference between right and wrong, but to do right even in the face of wrong. He will give you answers. He will guide you wisdom. He will direct your steps.

Tom

© Copyright 2013 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

Vol. 16 No. 21 | May 27, 2013
Watch closely. Pay attention. Slow down. Take time. Life comes at us full force from the first breath and does not slow down until the last. There is no time to waste.

Scripture calls it “a vapor”.

Paul said, “Make the most of every opportunity.”

Jesus offers in “abundance.”

How many reminders do we need for us to get the message? Life happens fast!

Pull out your box of photos, or photo album, or pull up your photos on your computer and you will be amazed how quickly life has happened. “Where did that little girl go?” “How did he grow up so fast?” “Wow! He looks old!”

Watch the news. Another horrific tornado where lives were lost and property were destroyed in seconds. A plane goes down. An automobile accident on the Interstate. A shooting in the city. A murder in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods. A heart attack took the life of a young husband and father.

Life happens fast. It comes so fast that about the time we get comfortable in one phase of life we move into a different phase. We start feeling good being single, and suddenly we are talking marriage. Then, we work and work at being the best husband or the best wife and here come children. We feel like we get the parenting thing figured out, we are grandparents.

With life coming (and going) so fast how do we manage it? Here are a few things to remember.

Live today, not tomorrow or yesterday. Spend too much time looking ahead or behind and you will miss what is happening in the present. Jesus said, “Take no thought in tomorrow.” Paul said, “Forgetting what it behind I press on.”

Slow down. Try to eliminate hurry from your life. If you have small children try not to say, “Hurry up!” too many times. When you get on the freeway, drive the speed limit. When you are walking if you see something worth looking at, stop and look at it. Remind yourself that you have all the time you need to do what God wants us to do.

Enjoy the moment. When you work, work hard. When you rest, rest. When you are with friends, shut your phone off and be with your friends. When you are with your spouse, really be with her. When you are with your children, be with them.

Life happens fast, but it does not have to overwhelm us, we do not have to miss it, and we can enjoy it. God has given us life and life abundantly. We have the tools to live it at His pace and in His time and like He wants us to.

This week I hope you can receive the life God has planned for you and enjoy it to the fullest.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2013. Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved.

Vol. 16 No. 20 | May 20, 2013

Sometimes words come slowly. My head and my heart are filled with so many thoughts that it is difficult to bring any single thought out into the open. As I clear my mind and open my heart the thought that surfaces is that of being abundantly grateful.

I find myself feeling grateful for life. The sixty plus years I have lived have been good and blessed and filled with joy. Yes, there have been (and surely will be) times of deep sorrow and great pain, but gratitude is the theme of this morning. Thank You, Giver of life, for bringing me into this world to enjoy Your creation and experience the “abundant life” You have given me.

I sense this abundant gratitude when I look at my wife and my children, their spouses, and my granddaughter. They are healthy. They are beautiful. They are living in and through Your Spirit. They are walking in Your ways and loving Your people. When I have time with them in any form I am filled with abundant joy for the blessing of these people.

I feel abundant gratitude when I look at Your creation. What a world You have made! There is so much of it I have never seen, and will never seen, but there is so much of it that I have seen. The ocean. The mountains. The forests. The cities. The rivers and streams. The view from an airplane. The view from a walkway through the green places. The sunrises I have seen. The sunsets I have marveled at the colors and the peacefulness of a day well spent as it ends.

I feel abundant gratitude for the people. My family, my friends, my colleagues, my coworkers, the people I have spent decades with sharing our journey through this world. Each one has played a role in shaping my view of life, enhancing my view of people, and enlarging my view of God.

I am abundantly grateful for the people I know only as “that man”, or “that woman”, or “that boy”, or “that girl”. I am abundantly grateful for the man or woman I exchanged eye contact with for a brief moment on a sidewalk, in a hall, or across a crowded room.The woman selling papers on the street corner. The young man ringing up my groceries at the super market. The countless men and women who have served me a meal, cleaned a room, given me change, cleaned my shirts, or greeted me with a smile. I am abundantly grateful for God’s timing and the way He placed each one there in my midst for that brief moment.

I am abundantly grateful for times of rest. I am grateful for those rare times when there has been no schedule, there has been no agenda, and the only plan for the day has been to enjoy it to the fullest. There are times when the question, “What is next?” has been replaced with “Let’s enjoy this moment.” There are times when sleep is more important than seeing the sunrise, or finishing the project, or sending the email. I am abundantly grateful for those times with I have heeded God’s invitation to “Come away with me and get some rest,” when I have taken his yoke upon me, and when I have just been still and reflected upon God.

I am abundantly grateful for memories. Memories of moments that happen only once in a life time. Memories of moments that are repeated and relived every Sunday, every summer, every Christmas holiday, and every time any part of God’s family gathers. Memories that are more vivid than the photographs, speak louder and more clearly than the video recordings. Memories that are housed deep in our hearts and dwell in our souls.

I am abundantly grateful for the love that I have experienced. The love I have received from God. The love I received from my family, from my friends, from my brothers and sisters in Christ, and from strangers. I am grateful for those special God-moments when I have been able to reflect some of that love into the life of another human being.

God is on His throne. Jesus is Lord. My heart is full. My soul is well. I am abundantly grateful.

Tom

© Copyright 2013 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

 

Vol. 16 No. 19 | May 13, 2013

A light snow was falling in Richmond, Virginia the day the doctor confirmed that we were going to have another baby. At that point we were not sure if we were having a boy or a girl. From early on one sweet woman from our church assured us that this would be a girl. She was right. When the doctor welcomed Laura Lee into the world tears of joy flowed down my face. When I held her in my arms for the first time I prayed: “Father, thank You for this beautiful baby girl. Help her to learn Your ways, help her to know Your love, and help me release her into Your care when it is time to let her go.”

The first day of school was hard. I drove to the school for the first time, pulled into the drop-off lane, made certain the card with her name and her teacher’s name card was securely draped around her neck, kissed her, said, “I love you,” opened her door, and watched her walk toward the door and I cried. As I drove away from the school I prayed: “Father, thank You for this beautiful little girl. Help her to learn Your ways, help her to know Your love, and help me release her into Your care when it is time to let her go.”

Later on she learned to swim and started to compete. She swam like a fish, only sweeter. She won some races and received a few awards. She was praised by her coach. I watched from the side of the pool as she dove in, swam her laps and hopped out of the pool with a look of “I did it!” on her face. As she learned to compete I prayed: “Father, thank You for this beautiful little girl. Help her to learn Your ways, help her to know Your love, and help me release her into Your care when it is time to let her go.”

We rode our bikes through the neighborhoods, we walked the trails of the parks, we were introduced to sleep-overs, and learned more about letting her become her own person. With each new adventure I prayed: “Father, thank You for this beautiful little girl. Help her to learn Your ways, help her to know Your love, and help me release her into Your care when it is time to let her go.”

She needed surgery. We discussed the options. We pondered the limitations. We greeted the doctor and nurses, hugged her, told her we loved her. As we watched them roll her away I prayed: “Father, thank You for this beautiful young girl. Help her to learn Your ways, help her to know Your love, and help me release her into Your care on days like this when it is time to let her go.”

She continued to grow and mature and we were introduced to high school sports, cheerleading, and the high drama of relationships. Every time she walked out the door I prayed: “Father, thank You for this beautiful young girl. Help her to learn Your ways, help her to know Your love, and help me release her into Your care when it is time to let her go.”

She finished high school, walked across the stage, we drove her to college, moved her in the dorm, kissed her goodbye, said, “I love you,” and left her there. As we drove away I prayed: “Father, thank You for this beautiful young person. Help her to learn Your ways, help her to know Your love, and help me release her into Your care each time it is time to let her go.”

She waited as God prepared a man to be her husband, they married, and I pronounced them husband and wife. As they drove away. I prayed: “Father, thank You for this beautiful young woman. Help her to learn Your ways, help her to know Your love, and help me release her into Your care each time it is time to let her go.”

She has completed her college education, ready to start her life as a nurse, and she and her husband are preparing to make their first move to a new community with the prayerful hope of making a difference. She is strong. She is beautiful. She is determined. She is wise. She loves God and cannot wait to see Jesus. At the end of each visit, and many times in between, I continue to pray: “Father, thank You for this beautiful young woman. Help her to learn Your ways, help her to know Your love, and help me release her into Your care each time it is time to let her go.”

Tom

© Copyright 2013 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

 

Vol. 16 No. 18 | May 6, 2013

Luke records the story of Jesus healing a blind man in chapter 18,

As Jesus approached Jericho, a blind man was sitting by the roadside begging. When he heard the crowd going by, he asked what was happening. They told him, “Jesus of Nazareth is passing by.”

He called out, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”

Those who led the way rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”

Jesus stopped and ordered the man to be brought to him. When he came near, Jesus asked him, “What do you want me to do for you?”

“Lord, I want to see,” he replied.

Jesus said to him, “Receive your sight; your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus, praising God. When all the people saw it, they also praised God. (Luke 18:35-43, NIV)

If you were blind what would you want God to do for you? That is what Jesus asked this blind man. “What do you want me to do for you?” Somewhere in the the depths of our soul we know how we would respond to that question. We may be reluctant to ask, we may be embarrassed to ask, or we may think God does not want us to ask, but if I am reading the story correctly, God wants us to ask.

Here are three lessons that seem to emerge from this story:

We all have that one request we want to make of the Lord.

“Lord, I want to see.”

“Lord, I want to hear.”

“Lord, I want to be healed.”

“Lord, I want to be a good parent.”

“Lord, I want to save my marriage.”

“Lord, I want to be able to help more people.”

“Lord, I want a job.”

“Lord, I want someone to love me.”

“Lord, I want to be forgiven.”

“Lord, I want peace.”

“Lord, I want to know I’m saved.”

“Lord, I want to make a difference in the world.”

“Lord, I want to really live again.”

We need to make the request.

Why not take a moment right now and present your request to the Lord. (Philippians 4:6-8) Get with a friend. Or, get alone. Get with God and lay it all out. Yes, He already knows before you ask. Ask anyway. Pour your heart out to Him. Tell Him what you want Him to do for you.

We need to praise God when our request is granted.

The blind beggar did. The people around him did. The blind man in John 11 did. The people around him did not. When He grants you the request thank Him, praise Him, share what He has done.

God is ready and willing to hear your request. And, He is ready and willing to grant your request in His time and His way. When He does, rejoice and praise Him.

Tom

© Copyright 2013 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

 

Vol. 16 No. 17 | April 29, 2013

What do you say to the man who, as he reflects on his long life and says, “Why did God bless me like He did?”

What do you say when you learn that a relative has inoperable cancer?

What do you say when you walk into your bosses office and he informs you that your position with the firm is being eliminated?

What do you say to the soldier when he returns home from the war and is haunted with the question of why he survived the attack but his buddies did not?

What do you say when the doctor tells you that she has your tests results and she would like for you to come to her office…and she suggests that your husband come with you?

What do you say when you learn that your wife has been having an affair for several months and she is not interested in working on your relationship?

What do you say when your best friend tells you that he and his wife are getting a divorce?

What do you say when your best friend reveals that the reason she has pulled away from you for the last several months is because she believes you betrayed her?

What do you say when your son tells you he is tired of living by your rules, is “taking off”, and really does not care what you think about his decision?

What do you say to the man who tells you he has messed up his life so completely that he feels he is better off dead?

What do you say to the woman who has been a “good and faithful servant” almost all of her life yet lives in fear everyday that she “has not done enough”?

What do you say to the young wife and mother as she walks away from the graveside of her husband faced with raising her children alone?

What do you say to man you have loved and admired for decades when he tells you that he tells you that he never feels that God is satisfied with his performance and that he does not think he can ever please Him?

What do you say to the teenage couple sitting in your living room confused, frightened, weeping because they have just learned that she is pregnant?

What do you say after another natural or man-caused disaster and people ask over and over again, “Why did this happen”?

What do you say to these people? What can you say?

Questions. We have more questions than answers, don’t we? Some have answers. Some may not. Some we may attempt to answer only to realize we had no business trying to answer them. Some we understand and can relate to, others we have no concept of what the person is going through.

A couple of lessons from Job’s story may be helpful.

Don’t say anything. Just be with the person.

When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was. (Job 2:11-13)

Sometimes the best answer is silence. It is still an answer. Unless you are confident you know for sure what God would tell the person, be quiet. Listen to them. Pray with them and for them. Allow them time to process the questions, the crisis, or the tragedy. There will be time to help them find answers, but for now don’t say anything.

Admit that you have no right to speak to such things.

Then Job answered the Lord: “I am unworthy — how can I reply to you? I put my hand over my mouth. I spoke once, but I have no answer — twice, but I will say no more.” (Job 40:3-5)Then Job replied to the Lord: “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted. You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know.

“You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.’ My ears had heard of you
 but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself
 and repent in dust and ashes.” (Job 42:1-6)

For some reason we tend to think that life must be explained, that God must be explained, and we are responsible for coming up with the explanations. We tend to feel that God must be defended. We think God owes us an explanation. We sometimes assume that mystery is a bad thing.

The conversation between Job and God reminds us that God can handle His own defense, that He can explain His actions if He chooses to explain. Even when people are hurting, want answers, and look to us for answers, we as compassionate people naturally want to ease the suffering, but it still may be inappropriate for us to answer for God.

What do you say when life hits hard? What can you say? God may need you to speak, but unless you are absolutely sure, be content with being a silent presence.

Tom

© Copyright 2013 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.