A Norvell Note

A Little More on Grief

A Norvell Note

Vol. 27 No. 15

April 10, 2023

A Little More on Grief

We will all experience grief at some point. We cannot escape life without it. However, there are unhealthy and healthy ways to deal with grief.

Unhealthy Ways of Processing Grief

Deny it.

Do nothing.

Self-medicate.

Isolate yourself.

Fear it.

Healthy Ways of Processing Grief

Acknowledge it.

Embrace it.

Face it.

Talk about it.

Seek professional help.

Journaling.

Exercise.

When you experience a loss, and you will, whether you acknowledge it or not, grief needs to be processed. I encourage you to choose healthy ways to process your grief. Even if you choose healthy ways to process your grief, it is hard, so please choose the more beneficial methods. Then, you can get through it.

Tom

Grief

A Norvell Note

Vol. 27 No. 15

April 10, 2023

Grief

Sometimes you see it coming; sometimes, it comes out of nowhere. Sometimes you know what’s happening; sometimes, you have no idea what’s happening. What is it? Grief.

Grief comes in many forms and for many reasons. We commonly associate grief with the death of a loved one, but there are many other causes.

Grief may surface after losing a job, a pet, loss of health, or a dream. Likewise, grief may appear after a failed relationship, an auto accident, or one of many other losses.

Grief may show up as sadness, moodiness, anger, depression, crying, or feeling blue. A person may feel grief when you hear a particular song, eat at a favorite restaurant, or smell a familiar fragrance.

Why am I writing about grief? Because grief is real and painful and must be allowed to do its work, or you may experience serious health problems. If you are experiencing grief, saying, “I’m fine,” is not the solution. Help is available. You don’t have to go through the agony of your loss alone.

Tom

To follow updates on Junie, go here: welovejunieblue

For past articles, go here: A Norvell Note.

The Anger and the Pain

A Norvell Note

Vol. 27 No. 14

April 3, 2023

The Anger and the Pain

“In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, …Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:26, 31, 32 (NIV)

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19, 20 (NIV)

I wish reading these words would be enough to stop the anger and violence in our world.

I wish the words “be kind and compassionate to one another” would be powerful enough to change the hearts and minds of the people who are so angry before they go into elementary schools and start shooting.

I wish we could learn to be “quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”

I wish I could erase the images of parents rushing to Covenant School in Nashville clutching their children. I want to remove the feelings of helplessness. I wish I could stop being sad. And I wish there was something I could do to make things better. I want my wishes to change something.

I know that I cannot change people, I cannot change hearts, and I cannot make the rage and anger disappear. I also cannot take away the pain and suffering of the victims of rage and anger. I cannot make the anger go away.

So, I pray.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace, 

Where there is hatred, let me sow love; 

Where there is injury, pardon; 

Where there is doubt, faith; 

Where there is despair, hope; 

Where there is darkness, light; 

Where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, Grant that I may not so much seek To be consoled as to console; To be understood as to understand; To be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive; It is in pardoning that we are pardoned; And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Amen (The Prayer of St. Francis)

Tom

To follow updates on Junie, go here: welovejunieblue

For past articles, go here: A Norvell Note.

Last Week

Vol. 27 No. 13 – March 27, 2023

Last Week

Junie’s scan results: ALL CLEAR!

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

Also, last week a very dear lady from our workplace lost her battle with cancer but won her freedom over pain and discomfort and moved on to her reward of peace and eternal rest.

We celebrate.

We grieve.

We hold on.

We let go.

We love.

We move forward.

Tom

To follow updates on Junie, go here: welovejunieblue

For past articles, go here: A Norvell Note.

Anxious Times

A Norvell Note

Vol. 27 No. 12 – March 20, 2023

Anxious Times

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7, NIV)

It makes me anxious to read this passage. It makes me even more anxious to think of how many times I have written about and talked about this passage. It makes me even more nervous than that to think about how many times I have reminded someone that the Apostle Paul, guided by the Holy Spirit, said, “Do not be anxious about anything.” And yet, here I am writing about not being anxious again.

Why? Because we live in anxious times.

Relationships create anxiety. If you have children, you will have times of intense stress about their welfare. If your parents are aging, there are times when you are anxious. You have anxiety if you are married, planning to get married, or once married. Finally, you will have tense times if you date or commit to a single life.

Engaging in the world creates anxiety. You stand a good chance of getting anxious by watching the news (local, national, international). You’ll have some stress if you watch sports. If you drive an automobile, there is a real possibility of a few anxious moments in your week.

Anxiety is real. The examples I’ve shared above are the natural consequences of living in an anxiety-filled world. But there are others: sick children, family problems, addiction, accidents, poor decisions, chronic pain, church dysfunction, loneliness, and financial difficulties.

I believe the Holy Spirit guided Paul to write those words because He knew we would live in a world as we do and wants us to know that when anxiety hits, we have a healthy and effective way to deal with it. We have the response. “In every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

The promise is not that anxious times will disappear but that God’s peace will protect you as you go through them.

Go in peace.

Tom

To follow updates on Junie, go here: welovejunieblue

For past articles, go here: A Norvell Note.

A Little Less Like Me

A Norvell Note

Vol. 27 No. 11 – March 13, 2023

A Little Less Like Me

Last week I wrote, “Just Be You.” This week I was introduced to the song “More Like Jesus Less Like Me.” (More Like Jesus Less Like Me). I’ve listened to it multiple times. Here’s the chorus.

Lord, help me be
(One, two, three)

… A little more like mercy, a little more like grace
A little more like kindness, goodness, love, and faith
A little more like patience, a little more like peace
A little more like Jesus, oh, a little less like me

… A little more of living everything I preach
A little more like Jesus, a little less like me
Oh, a little less like me.

The song is a good reminder of how important it is to take who we are and allow Jesus’ nature to be revealed in and through us.

When we do that, we show mercy and grace to those who need it most but feel most unworthy.

Our kindness, goodness, love, and faith become the heritage we leave behind.

Patience and peace become achievable goals.

And living what I preach is the most natural thing I can do.

Let’s be a little more like Jesus.

Tom

To follow updates on Junie, go here: welovejunieblue

For past articles, go here: A Norvell Note.

Be You

A Norvell Note

March 6, 2023 – Vol. 27 No. 10

Be You

You have one life to live. So, why not live like God wants you to live? He created you with specific gifts, qualities, talents, and a unique personality. When He created you, He intended you to be you. So, be you.
Not everyone will like you but be you.
Not everyone will appreciate you but be you.
Not everyone will understand you but be you.
Not everyone will want to be around you but be you.
Not everyone will think you’re cool but be you.
Not everyone will respect you but be you.
Not everyone will want your opinion but be you.
Not everyone will want to be your friend but be you.
Not everyone will agree with you but be you.
Not everyone will say you are pretty or handsome but be you.
Not everyone needs to know your political views. That’s okay. Be you.
Not everyone wants or needs to hear you talk. That’s okay. Be quiet when you need to. Be you.
God created you to be you so be you. Unless you’re a jerk, then be someone else.

Tom Norvell

To follow updates on Junie, go here: welovejunieblue

For past articles, go here: A Norvell Note.

Not Too Seriously

A Norvell Note

February 27, 2023 – Vol. 27 No. 09

Not Too Seriously

According to the Enneagram, my personality type is an improver (some call it perfectionist). As an improver, I believe there is a right way to do things and a wrong way. Since I discovered this about myself, I have tried to be aware of these tendencies, and I think I have improved on trying to make everyone do things my way instead of the wrong way.

However, there’s much work when it comes to me. I am very aware of my mistakes and failures. And daily, I ask what I can do to live better, be better, treat people better, and be a better follower of Jesus. Admittedly it can be wearisome, but I am learning that it is okay for others to see and do things differently.

One practice that is helping me is reading this passage often. I’m sharing it here from TheMessage because of the simple and plain language and because it reminds me that although I can continually improve on how I practice it, I really cannot improve on what God wants me to do. So when I read it, God says, “Tom, relax. You know what to do. Just do it.”

But he’s already made it plain how to live, what to do,
    what God is looking for in men and women.
It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor,
    be compassionate and loyal in your love,
And don’t take yourself too seriously—
    take God seriously. (Micah 6:8, The Message)

After reading it multiple times, I always sense Him pausing before the last two lines and saying, “Tom, don’t take yourself too seriously—take Me seriously. Yes, life is serious, but you’ve got this.”

Maybe you need to read those words too. Perhaps you take yourself too seriously and think it is your responsibility to keep the world spinning. Or perhaps you don’t take yourself or God seriously enough. Maybe you should hear the Lord say, “Don’t take yourself too seriously—take Me seriously. Be fair and just with your neighbor be compassionate and loyal in your love. You’ve got this.”

Tom

To follow updates on Junie, go here: welovejunieblue

For past articles, go here: A Norvell Note.

Just Be Kind

February 20, 2023 – Vol. 27 No. 08

Just Be Kind

We talk a lot about kindness. We chose kindness as their word for the year, printed it on shirts and hats, plastered it on our car’s bumper, and tattooed it on their body. Galatians 5 lists kindness as one of the fruits of the Spirit. We think about kindness and talk about it, but is it part of who we are? Here are a few situations where I need to be kind or wish others would be kind.

When you tell someone, you will call them, call them. It’s the kind thing to do. However, be thoughtful when someone tells you they will contact you and they don’t.

Show up when you say you will meet with someone, be there. It’s the kind thing to do. If you can’t make it, let the person know. Likewise, be kind when someone tells you they will meet you at a specific time but miss the appointment.

Do what you say you will do. Keep your promise. Keeping your commitment is a kind thing to do. If you can’t keep your promise, let the person know and apologize. Be kind when someone fails to keep a promise they made to you. Remember the times you have been unable to keep a promise.

Listen first. If someone is talking, listen first. If you walk into a room in the middle of a conversation, listen before you speak. You may not know what the people are talking about, and they may not want or need your input. It is a kind and wise thing to do. It may keep you from appearing or sounding silly. When someone is talking, listen. Don’t interrupt. It is a kind thing to do. When you interrupt someone, apologize. Let them talk. It’s a kind thing to do.

Acknowledge people. When you are on the phone and someone needs your attention, you don’t have to stop your conversation but acknowledge them. Let them know you will be with them as soon as you can. When you need to speak to someone, but they are on the phone, wait patiently (another of the fruits of the Spirit), and don’t interrupt the person. Be kind if you feel ignored (visualize being in a restaurant). Leave if you need to, but don’t make a scene. Just be kind.

Kindness costs us nothing and requires little other than getting past our ego and pride. Yet, we all need kindness and compassion. If you are a follower of Jesus, it is not optional.

Just be kind.

Tom

To follow updates on Junie, go here: welovejunieblue

For past articles, go here: A Norvell Note.

Hard Times and Small Potatoes

A Norvell Note

February 13, 2023 – Vol. 27 No. 06

Hard Times and Small Potatoes

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18, New International Version)

I was reminded of these words by a man wasting away and his physical world falling apart. I read more.

So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever. (2 Corinthians 4:17-18, The Message)

I believe these words, I have taught these words, and I have preached these words. I have written about these words and shared them with many of you. However, sometimes I find it challenging to live as if troubles are “light and momentary” and the “hard times are small potatoes.”

Hard times do not seem like small potatoes when I talk with a husband who watches his wife slowly wasting away, and she feels like his world is falling apart.

Troubles do not feel light or momentary to the couple trying to keep their marriage together when they feel like their world is falling apart.

It’s hard to convince the young lady that being single and pregnant is all small potatoes. It’s equally difficult to convince her parents.

Light and momentary troubles do not seem to fit a friend who has lived a long, good life but now wonders if his life has any real meaning.

The daughter caring for her aged mother is not likely to say, “Ah, this is small potatoes.”

If you listen to parents in NICU, you are not likely to hear parents saying, “No worries. These are light and momentary troubles.”

Hard times and troubles come to all of us. There are times when we can focus on the things above, realize that our crisis is temporary, and live confidently that better days are ahead. But, unfortunately, there are other times when it is not so easy. Either way, we hang on and do not lose heart. We do not give up.

Here are two suggestions for helping people get through hard times.

First, remember that the person going through difficult times may be unable to view them as small potatoes. Listen to them. Do not tell them to get over it, it’s no big deal, or it could be worse.

Second, when you’re going through troubles, be kind to yourself and give yourself some grace. There is a reason they are called hard times. Keep your eyes on Jesus. Then, listen to this song and watch this video by Matthew West. It may help you keep going one more day. Wonderful Life

Tom

To follow updates on Junie, go here: welovejunieblue

For past articles, go here: A Norvell Note.

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