Vol. 16 No. 17 | April 29, 2013

What do you say to the man who, as he reflects on his long life and says, “Why did God bless me like He did?”

What do you say when you learn that a relative has inoperable cancer?

What do you say when you walk into your bosses office and he informs you that your position with the firm is being eliminated?

What do you say to the soldier when he returns home from the war and is haunted with the question of why he survived the attack but his buddies did not?

What do you say when the doctor tells you that she has your tests results and she would like for you to come to her office…and she suggests that your husband come with you?

What do you say when you learn that your wife has been having an affair for several months and she is not interested in working on your relationship?

What do you say when your best friend tells you that he and his wife are getting a divorce?

What do you say when your best friend reveals that the reason she has pulled away from you for the last several months is because she believes you betrayed her?

What do you say when your son tells you he is tired of living by your rules, is “taking off”, and really does not care what you think about his decision?

What do you say to the man who tells you he has messed up his life so completely that he feels he is better off dead?

What do you say to the woman who has been a “good and faithful servant” almost all of her life yet lives in fear everyday that she “has not done enough”?

What do you say to the young wife and mother as she walks away from the graveside of her husband faced with raising her children alone?

What do you say to man you have loved and admired for decades when he tells you that he tells you that he never feels that God is satisfied with his performance and that he does not think he can ever please Him?

What do you say to the teenage couple sitting in your living room confused, frightened, weeping because they have just learned that she is pregnant?

What do you say after another natural or man-caused disaster and people ask over and over again, “Why did this happen”?

What do you say to these people? What can you say?

Questions. We have more questions than answers, don’t we? Some have answers. Some may not. Some we may attempt to answer only to realize we had no business trying to answer them. Some we understand and can relate to, others we have no concept of what the person is going through.

A couple of lessons from Job’s story may be helpful.

Don’t say anything. Just be with the person.

When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was. (Job 2:11-13)

Sometimes the best answer is silence. It is still an answer. Unless you are confident you know for sure what God would tell the person, be quiet. Listen to them. Pray with them and for them. Allow them time to process the questions, the crisis, or the tragedy. There will be time to help them find answers, but for now don’t say anything.

Admit that you have no right to speak to such things.

Then Job answered the Lord: “I am unworthy — how can I reply to you? I put my hand over my mouth. I spoke once, but I have no answer — twice, but I will say no more.” (Job 40:3-5)Then Job replied to the Lord: “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted. You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know.

“You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.’ My ears had heard of you
 but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself
 and repent in dust and ashes.” (Job 42:1-6)

For some reason we tend to think that life must be explained, that God must be explained, and we are responsible for coming up with the explanations. We tend to feel that God must be defended. We think God owes us an explanation. We sometimes assume that mystery is a bad thing.

The conversation between Job and God reminds us that God can handle His own defense, that He can explain His actions if He chooses to explain. Even when people are hurting, want answers, and look to us for answers, we as compassionate people naturally want to ease the suffering, but it still may be inappropriate for us to answer for God.

What do you say when life hits hard? What can you say? God may need you to speak, but unless you are absolutely sure, be content with being a silent presence.

Tom

© Copyright 2013 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

Vol. 16 No. 16 | April 22, 2013

What can you do when you have more “down” days than “up” days?            

What can you do when the clouds block your view of the sun day after day after day after day?
What can you do when you continue to take two steps forward then slide three steps back?

What can you do when the negatives in life are overpowering the positives in your life?

What can you do when the bills accumulate faster than the income does?

What can you do when day after day the “To Do” list is longer than your “Done” list?

What can you do when dreams have faded?

What can you do when you hope that life will get better is all but gone?

What can you do when you have more reasons to be afraid than reasons to trust?

What can you do when you feel paralyzed by fear?

What can you do when your sadness over the injustices of life begins to turn into anger?

What can you do when you see the more people you try to help the more people you meet who need help?

What can you do?

Start by reading Philippians 4:4-9.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

After reading that text from Philippians 4 try these suggestions:

Remember and remind others that The Lord is near. 

In the midst of trials, crisis, boiling tempers, and smoldering anger if you will pause and remind yourself “the Lord is near,” you will be amazed at how quickly attitudes can change. Gentleness will become the natural response. If you have to repeat to yourself: “The Lord is near.” “The Lord is near.” “The Lord is near.” Then, let your gentleness be evident to all.

Take all your fears and anxieties to The Lord.

“Present your requests to God.” Be honest with your feelings. Tell Him what you are thinking. Share your fears. Open up your heart to Him. If you are anxious, say, “Lord, I’m anxious.” If you are afraid, say, “Lord, I am afraid.” If you have a need, say, “Lord, please help me.”

Think about something else. 

“Think on these things.” Sometimes you just have to change the channel on the television, on the radio, or get off the Internet. Fold the newspaper and put it away. Quit watching the news. Think about good things. Think about pure things. Think about things that are excellent. It takes real discipline of the mind to change a direction of thought, but it will make a difference in how you see things, and how you respond to life.

What can you do? Remember you can do something. You are not helpless. You are not powerless. The world may seem to be crumbling around you, or the ground may feel like it is shaking beneath you, but the Lord is near, He will hear you, and give you peace.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2013. Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved.

Vol. 16 No. 15 | April 15, 2013

After Jesus said these things, many of his followers left and stopped following him.

Jesus asked the twelve apostles, “Do you want to leave too?”

Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, where would we go? You have the words that give eternal life. We believe in you. We know that you are the Holy One from God.” (John 6:66-69, ERV)

The gospel song says, “Where could I go? Oh, where where could I go but to Lord?”

That was true for those disciples at that crucial moment in their lives and in the earthly ministry of Jesus, and it is still true today. Where would we go? Where can we go except to the Lord?

Where can we go to find words when we have no words worth speaking?

Where can we go to remind us to be silent when we want to be speaking?

Where can we go to learn how to love those people who are the hardest to love?

Where can we go to find and receive forgiveness when all we feel is shame, regret, and guilt?

Where can we go to find rest when we are washed-out, washed-up, and weary?

Where can we go to find peace when we are surrounded by crisis, chaos, and drama?

Where can we go to find hope when all around us is confusion, cynicism, and doubt?

Where can we go to be reminded of joy when all we are seeing is sadness and destruction?

Where can we go to find comfort when we have been hurt, rejected, and betrayed?

Where can we go to know we are not alone even though we feel extremely lonely and homesick?

Where can we go to find healing after we have been beat-up, beat-down, and beat-on?

Where can we go to find security when we feel lost, abandoned, and forgotten?

Where can we go when our minds are so full we cannot think, we cannot sleep, and we cannot find clarity?

Where can we go when our hearts are breaking, our dreams are fading, and all our plans are changing?

Where can we go when we are filled with fear, despair, and disillusionment?

Where can we go when life experiences have overwhelmed us, problems have devoured us, and pain has drained us?

Where? Where can we go? We can go to the Holy One of God because He has words of eternal life.

Tom

© Copyright 2013 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

Vol. 16 No. 14 | April 8, 2013

This article is about perspective.

From where I sit the sun is shining and spring is blooming all around. Bradford Pear trees are as white as snow. Cherry blossoms are beautiful. The grass in my lawn is growing and green and could use a mowing. The weeds could use a killing. The neighborhood is calm. From where I sit it is a beautiful peaceful spring afternoon.

Not far from here a family is grieving due to a house fire and loss of life. A little further away a family is grieving the loss of three people due to an apparent murder/suicide. Others are grieving the loss of a loved one in a car accident. From where they sit life is quite different.

From where I sat this morning the worship was rich and full and alive. God was being praised. Our assembly consisted of people from different races, from different spiritual backgrounds, and from different social and financial segments of our community. Worshippers were openly expressing their love and adoration for the One who has given us life and hope and a reason to live. We were free to assemble and free to worship with all our hearts.

In other parts of the world some were forbidden to assemble for worship. In some places what went on in the assembly was dictated and followed a very strict pattern of what is appropriate. Some worshipped with only people of similar backgrounds, and tastes, and beliefs. Some people worshipped in secret because of their fear of punishment. Some people worshipped in large assemblies and some worshipped where two or three were gathered.

From where I sit friends frequently gather to enjoy an evening of fellowship, food, and spiritual conversation. We regularly share meals with friends and family in our home and in restaurants. We laugh. We talk. We cry. We share. We support. We encourage. We share our stories.

Others are alone. They cannot remember they actually sat across the table from another human being. They cannot remember the last time they actually had a conversation with another human being. They cannot remember the last time they felt loved.

From where I sit I see God as a loving, caring, compassionate father who always wants what is best for me and is constantly sharing His creation and vast world of blessings with me. I see God as loving me unconditionally. I see God as drawing me to His side so that He can nurture me, comfort me, console me, and protect me.

Others see God as uncaring, cold, harsh and caring very little about what goes on in our world. Others see God as intent on making life miserable. Others see God as waiting for them to make a mistake so He can angrily correct them and condemn them to hell.

From where I sit I imagine God looking at us from where He sits with gentle loving eyes knowing that although we all may see things differently, think differently, act differently, and react to life differently, we are all still His children. From where I sit I imagine God reaching out to each one of us with open arms inviting us to bring our fears, our tears, our pains, and our suffering to Him. I imagine seeing Him life on this earth comes to an end as He welcomes home where once and for all we will enjoy eternal rest.

I like what I see from where I sit.

Tom

© Copyright 2013 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

Vol. 16 No. 13 | April 1, 2013

Father, on this day help me to allow the wisdom You have given me so that I will make, not only the right choices, but choices that demonstrate spiritual wisdom and choices that will produce spiritual fruit.

Father, on this day help me to surrender my will to Your will so that Your will is done in my life as it is in Heaven.

Father, on this day help me to allow Your Spirit to guide me resist temptation.

Father, on this day help me to seek Your Kingdom first and trust that You will provide for my all needs.

Father, on this day help me to trust that You will give me the strength to do all the things that I need to do today.

Father, on this day help me to know that You are aware of everything that is going on in the world and realize that You did not ask, and are not asking me to fix the wrongs nor to take credit for any of the rights.

Father, on this day help me to receive all the gifts You will make available to me with a grateful heart.

Father, on this day help me to keep Your teachings on love, compassion, kindness, and gentleness in the forefront of my mind as interact with people.

Father, on this day help me to rejoice with those who rejoice.

Father, on this day help me to mourn with those who mourn.

Father, on this day help me to receive any attacks that may be aimed toward me without retaliation.

Father, on this day help me to ignore comments and criticisms that are spoken to harm and discourage me.

Father, on this day help me to reject the lies that the prince of the darkness whispers in my ear or tries to plant in my mind.

Father, on this day help me to sense Your constant and abiding presence in every circumstance.

Father, on this day help me to speak when I need to speak.

Father, on this day help me to be silent when I need to be silent.

Father, on this day help me to simply listen to those who need to be heard without comment or instruction or correction or judgment.

Father, on this day help me to forgive anyone who has harmed me.

Father, on this day help me to release any ill will toward another human being that I may be holding on to.

Father, on this day help me to express my gratitude to every person who does a good deed to me or around me.

Father, on this day help me to look for opportunities to do good and ask for nothing in return.

Father, on this day help me to hear Your voice above all other voices that I will hear, and to heed what you say.

Father, on this day help me to think not only of my own interests but also the interests of others.

Father, on this day help me to think on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy.

Father, on this day help me to let Your gentleness be evident to all so they will know that You are near.

Father, on this day help me to overlook little and insignificant things that people do that annoy me…remembering that I do little and insignificant things probably annoy them as well.

Father, on this day help me to be a person that people enjoy spending time with.

Father, on this day help me to be the husband, the father, the father-in-law, the grandfather, the brother, the friend, the teacher, the preacher, the counselor, the writer that You created and gifted me to be.

Father, on this day help me to follow You in such a way that when others see me they will see You.

Father, on this day when I fail to do any one or all of these things to remember that You still love me, to ask for Your forgiveness, to accept Your forgiveness, and to know that if I wake up tomorrow You will give me the opportunity to start over and hopefully do better than I did today.

Tom

© Copyright 2013 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.