Bad Connection

Vol. 17 No. 37 | September 15, 2014

Father, our connection is bad. It is my fault. Naturally! I am always the one who pulls away. I am the one who chooses to disconnect. You are never far from me and you never disconnect from me.

You are always there waiting to hear from me. Waiting to offer me help. Waiting to fill me with Your Spirit. Waiting to listen to the concerns of my heart. Waiting to remove the stains on my heart that have been put there by sins that I have committed. You are waiting to wipe those stains away. Waiting to offer me a safe place to unload the burdens that I insist are mine to bear. You are always there waiting. Yet, from my perspective it seems as if I am the one waiting.

Waiting for You to do something. Waiting for You to show me the way. Waiting for You to give me the answer I am looking for. Waiting for Your direction on the path I should take or the decision I should make. Waiting to hear a clear message from You. Waiting to hear Your voice. Waiting for the other voices to grow quiet so I can hear Your voice. Waiting for things to work out the way I want them to work out. Waiting for You to change people that I cannot change. Waiting for You to make the wrong things right.

Father, our connection is bad. It is my fault. Naturally! I am always the one who chooses a different course. You are always walking nearby, or sitting nearby, or abiding nearby. I am the one who walks away.

You are always longing for me to come back to You. You are always looking for me to turn around. You are always inviting me to come to You. You are always the One asking me to be still. You are always reminding me that You are close by putting a sunset in the sky, a bird on my window sill, or a child in my arms. You are always telling me that You love me. You are always providing me opportunities to do good things, to help people in need, and to love people who need to be loved. You are always offering me the freedom to just be me. You are always waiting with open arms for me to come home. Yet, it seems like I am always searching.

I am always searching for affirmation that I am loved. I am always searching for the better way. I am always searching for a place to rest. I am always reaching for the more exciting adventure. I am always straining to achieve more. I am always wanting more. I am always dreaming bigger. I am always pushing harder. I am always wearing myself out. I am always preparing for the next thing. Trying harder to do life better.

Father, our connection is bad. I know it’s my fault. Thank You for not giving up on me and for wanting to stay connected with me. I am working on it.

Tom


© Copyright 2014 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

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