Torn Between the Two

Vol. 17 No. 43 | October 27, 2014

6697Have you ever been at a crossroads in life where your choices were all good? If you go down this road you are confident that good things are going to happen. If you go down the other road you are equally confident that good, perhaps better, things will happen. You want this, and you want that.

Your trust in God is strong. He has always been faithful to His people, He has never left you alone, and He has proven over and over that He is worthy of your trust. There is no doubt that regardless of your decision He will walk with you, He will carry you if necessary, and He will deliver you in His way and on His timetable. You know it.

That is Paul’s conflict as he writes to his beloved friends in Philippi.

Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and God’s provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again your boasting in Christ Jesus will abound on account of me. (Philippians 1:18-26, NIV)
Paul says, “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.”
I am torn between the two. I want, I prefer, to leave this body and dwell with God. But, it seems that being here with and for you is best. I am torn between the two. “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.”

I am torn between the two. On those days when decisions are difficult, questions outweigh answers, and rest seems beyond reach I want to leave this earth. On those same days I am reminded of relationships, old and new, where God has allowed and continues to allow me to have significant influence and I want to stay here a little longer.

I am torn between the two. There are situations that require so much of me that I want to escape, run away, find a hole and crawl in it. In the same instant I can see that these circumstances provide a challenge, a promise of growth, and the opportunity to develop my faith.

When it comes time to leave my children or granddaughters, no matter how long the visit, and return home I am torn between the two. I love my family. I feel extremely blessed for any amount of time I get to spend with them. I love our conversations. I love the openness and honesty we have developed. I love watching our granddaughters as they develop new skills, expand their horizons, and make new discoveries. I also love the ministry God has blessed me with. I love the people with whom I share this ministry. I love seeing God open doors of opportunity to share His message of love and forgiveness. When it comes time to leave and go home, I am torn between the two. I want to stay and I want to go. I want to go, but I also want to stay.

Like Paul I desire one thing, but it is necessary that I hear God’s voice and follow His leading so that those God has placed in my path may be blessed and encouraged, and so that I may receive blessings and encouragement from them.

As we are in this world and endeavoring to be followers of Jesus we will be torn between the two (or more) options, situations, and opportunities that God places before us. It is where we are. It is who we are. I suppose as we come to the end of our time in this world we will be torn between staying here with loved one and going home to be with the Father.

Like the Apostle, “For to us, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” May we walk in His Spirit and live courageously, boldly, and joyfully all the days of our lives!

Tom

© Copyright 2014 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

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