Vol. 17 No. 08 | February 23, 2015

Like many around the country the winter weather of the past week has either forced us to be confined to our home (Oh, don’t you just hate it when that happens!), off the streets and roads, or at the very least to alter our regular schedule of activity. (That’s for you folks up to the north who cannot understand how an inch or two of ice and/or snow can create such chaos.) We have sat by the fire, watching movies, listening to music, worked (or played) on our computers and mobile devices, and been amazed at how many times the weather forecasters can remind you that we have a “Winter Weather Alert in effect for your area.”

I have been reminded of stories of the good old days when “if we wanted entertainment we’d go downtown and watch the traffic light change.” This week part of our entertainment has been to look out our windows and doors, marvel at the beauty of the sun’s reflection on the snow and ice, check the current temperature, comment on how long the icicles have gotten, and wonder when the ice will melt. Well, slowly but surely it is melting (although as I write there are predictions of more on the way for this afternoon and tonight).

One of the things that happens when the ice melts is that we start moving again. We move slowly at first to make sure we have solid ground upon which to stand, walk, or drive. Once we are convinced it is safe we begin to move more freely and with greater confidence.

The same happens with relationships.

A relationship begins with a simple, “Hello, my name is Tom.” The other person responds in like manner and the usual chit-chat begins that includes where you are from, where you work, your family status, and maybe a few other significant facts about yourself. The ice has been broken. Then, there’s that long awkward space in time where you and/or the person is deciding if the relationship will go any further, or if it will end having shared those few basic facts.

Sometimes, not always, the broken ice begins to melt and conversation continues. You are interested in this person. You feel comfortable with the person and see potential in pursuing a relationship, so you continue the conversation. The ice melts and a relationship is born.

Once the relationship is born, assuming that the relationship is nurtured and given space to develop, it will grow and mature as one would expect. This is a wonderful season for relationships. Rich times of enjoyment are common. Memories are made as the life-long relationship continues to thrive. The relationship, though solid and enjoyable, is still fragile.

One day something happens. The ice that had melted refreezes. You experience hurt feelings, betrayal, struggles with life, or distractions. The closeness begins to separate and the relationship becomes distant and disconnected. The ice hardens.

“I want the ice to melt again!” you cry.

Start with an acknowledgement that something has happened, something has changed, the warmth has been replaced with coldness. Sometimes simply the honesty of acknowledgement can begin the melting process.

Deal with the problem. Try not to blame or criticize or judge or assume. Attack the problem; not the person. Do whatever it takes to thaw the ice. Long hours of conversation, prayer, listening and understanding.

Apply forgiveness as needed. Request it. Offer it. All the power of forgiveness to do what nothing else can do: provide the atmosphere where healing can take place. Without forgiveness the ice will never melt.

The temperatures have risen above the freezing mark today. Rain is falling. The ice and snow are slowly melting. Before long movement will take place and life will get back to normal. (Whatever that is.) There is hope that warmer weather and the flowers of spring are not far away.

May your relationships this week be filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and self-control!

Tom

© Copyright 2015 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

Vol. 17 No. 07 | February 16, 2015

 
Let’s review. A few weeks ago I wrote about not being in such a hurry in “What’s the Hurry?”. The next week I switched gears and wrote about “What Are You Waiting For?” And last week I wrote, “What Are You Waiting For Church?” In each of those article I wanted to challenge us to think about our motives, our actions, or in some cases, our lack of action in answering Jesus’ call to be the salt and light. This week I want to bring the idea even closer to home by asking us to look even deeper into our souls by asking “What am I waiting for?”

I know a young couple who have been married a couple of years, live far from any immediate family, and are both working hard and under a heavy load of stress. They have a good group of friends and are involved in a solid spiritual community. During the last few weeks I have noticed a change. Nothing major, but enough to signal that something is not right. I have a choice. I can ignore it and assume they are simply going through the adjustments of marriage. Or, I can invite them to our home for a meal, tell them how much we love them, and offer them listening ears, caring hearts, whatever help we can from our years of experience. What am I waiting for?

I have known this couple for years. We have enjoyed dinners together. We have attended sporting events. We have watched movies together. We have talked about our marriages, our family histories, our children, our concerns for the world and the future, and had seriously challenging spiritual conversations. Busy schedules, distance, and lack of communication has taken a toll on our once extremely close relationship. I can write it up as just the way of relationships or I can contact them to set a time to get together and once again enjoy the closeness of a truly lifelong friend. What am I waiting for?

Every week I attend multiple church gatherings, read multiple passages of scripture, listen to multiple recordings of spiritual songs, sermons, devotional thoughts, and read multiple Christian-related articles, read portions Christian books, and when possible attend lectures by well known Christian speakers. Every week I teach classes, preach sermons, write articles, counsel people all with the intent of encouraging people to love God and live like Jesus. Every week I tell myself I am going to do better at practicing the things I encourage others to practice, and every week I wish I had done better. I can go through another week waiting to live more like Jesus or I can start today. What am I waiting for?

I have an opportunity to make a difference in someone’s life every day. It may be someone I know well, it may be someone I have recently met, it may be a church member, it may be a person who is waiting on me or providing a service that makes my life better. I can be creative and do something that is unexpected, say a kind encouraging word, or I can let the opportunities pass and look back on the day and wish I had done better. What am I waiting for?

Every day God gives us the opportunity to improve our life, lift the spirits of another, share the Good News, and just be Jesus. What am I waiting for?

I want to try not to wait to do and be what God is calling me to be. If you do the same, and encourage someone else to do the same imagine what a difference we can make.

Tom
© Copyright 2015 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

Vol. 17 No. 06 | February 9, 2015

Jesus came to seek and save the lost. What are you waiting for church?

The world is looking for good news. You have it. What are you waiting for church?

There are children in your neighborhood who need food, clothing, someone to take care of them after school, someone to show them the love of Christ. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me.” What are you waiting for church?

There are couples in your community who need help with their marriage. They need someone to help them learn what it means to love their spouse as Christ loved the church. They do not know how because they have never seen a living example. What are you waiting for church?

There are parents in your community who are struggling with the overwhelming responsibility of rearing their children. They need guidance on how to be good guides for their children. What are you waiting for, church?

There widows in your community who have no one to call when their pipes freeze, their car does not start, or when they are sick and need a ride to the doctor’s office. When the sun goes down they have no one to talk to, to watch tv with, or to tell they are lonely. What are you waiting for church?

There are widowers in your community who spend day after day all alone because they have never had to ask for help so they don’t know how. They are still healthy and enjoy having fun as much as they ever did, but no one ever invites them out to dinner, or to go with them to a movie, or to come for a home cooked meal. What are you waiting for church?

There are homeless people in your community who need a little help getting back on their feet. They are not looking for a free ride. They are willing to work. They do not want to live on the street or in a shelter. They would enjoy having a real conversation about life, family, politics, the economy, religion, maybe even your faith. What are you waiting for church?

There are young men in your community who need a father figure in their life. They have questions about girls, getting an education, being a good employee, and how to be a godly man. They are interested in goals you had at their age, and how you have achieved the them. What are you waiting for church?

There are likely people in your community who struggle with drug addictions, alcohol addictions, sexual additions, sexual identity issues, some may be involved in sexual exploitation of various forms, some struggle with eating disorders, some struggle due to sexual abuse, or have anger issues. Some of them want help, but the last place they would think of turning to for help is a church. We can do better. What are you waiting for church?

There are neighborhoods in your community that need to be cleaned up, playgrounds that need to be repaired, and buildings that could use a little paint. There are businesses that need your support. There are public servants who need to know you support them. What are you waiting for, church?

There are young ladies in your community who are pregnant and have no idea what to do or where to go. They are scared. They feel terribly alone. They feel abandoned and overwhelmed by the thought of taking care of themselves, and cannot imagine taking care of another human being. They need support, they need guidance, and they need to be loved just as they are. What are you waiting for church?

Tom

© Copyright 2015 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.

Vol. 17 No. 05 | February 2, 2015

Here is another common traffic scenario (or it seems fairly common to me). You are at an intersection. There is a right turn lane. There is a left turn lane. The person in front of you is straddling the line (thus blocking both lanes) but turning left. They wait for traffic to clear. And they wait. And they wait. And they wait. From your perspective there have been many opportunities for them to turn, but they wait. At the height of your frustration you yell, “WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?” They do not hear you and you quickly look around to make sure your windows are closed and nobody heard you. “Finally!” you say once they move.

Although there are legitimate reasons to stop hurrying as I wrote last week (What’s the Hurry?), there are also times to stop the waiting and get on with the life we are created to live; do the thing we are gifted to do.

You have worked hard. You have received the necessary training. You have the credentials and the qualifications. A job is offered. You love the company. You love the location. You love the salary. Your spouse is thrilled that you have this opportunity. Everything about it screams that this is a great opportunity. What are you waiting for?

You have been going to church your entire life. You have listened to more sermons than anyone you know. You know the Bible. You understand the message. You love the Lord and try to follow the teaching of Jesus. You are a good husband, and good father, and good employee, and a good neighbor. But you have never really made any firm commitment to give your life to God. What are you waiting for?

All your life you have prayed that the Lord would send you a Christian mate. You have your standards and you have stuck to them. You have been waiting and continued to pray. Finally you meet him. He is more than you had asked for or imagined. You are amazed. He asks you to marry him. You could not ask for more in a man. What are you waiting for?

You have prayed for an opportunity to share your faith with your friend. You have asked the Lord to give you the words and the courage and show you just the right time. The Lord answers your prayers. Not only is the perfect time in the conversation, but they ask you about your faith. They want to know. What are you waiting for?

You have dreamed of the day you could be out on your own, away from home, away from your parents, doing what you want to do when you want. You are there. Your parents have taught you and prepared you for this day. You are ready. They are ready. What are you waiting for?

What causes us wait? What causes us to hesitate? What causes us to stand still when everything and everyone around us tells us to move? Fear. Fear of failure. Fear of looking foolish. Fear of making the wrong decision. Fear of being disappointed. Fear of change. Fear. Fear stops us. Fear paralyzes us. When we are afraid we freeze, we panic, we freak out, and we make poor choices. When we are afraid often do what we were afraid we were going to do.

Do this. Go to your favorite Bible app or website or concordance and look up or type in “Do not be afraid.” Read through the passages. Here’s one of my favorites in the long list:

“I know your afflictions and your poverty — yet you are rich! I know about the slander of those who say they are Jews and are not, but are a synagogue of Satan. Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. I tell you, the devil will put some of you in prison to test you, and you will suffer persecution for ten days. Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you life as your victor’s crown.”“Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches. The one who is victorious will not be hurt at all by the second death.” (Revelation 2:9-11, NIV)

It is not necessary to read all of them, but take time to read some of them. Hear the Lord reminding you of His presence, His care, His guidance, His courage, His Spirit, His protection, His power, and His nature. As you read let your fear and anxiety disappear. That is what He wants. That is what you want.

What are you waiting for?

Tom

© Copyright 2015 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.