Vol. 21 No. 30 | July 29, 2019

I sat down to watch TV with my wife just as the movie Cast Away was starting. As soon as I heard the soundtrack, I felt the same emotions I had the first time I saw Tom Hank’s amazing performance. As I watched his character, Noland, attempt to find relief from his desperation, I felt anxious, confused, frustrated, and disappointed. I couldn’t help but think how futile it all seemed.

Those emotions felt so real because, although I have never been trapped on a deserted island, I have lived through times of anxiety, frustration, disappointment, and futility.

I remember waking up in a cold, dark room in a small Ukrainian village realizing I was seriously ill. I found out 5 days later that I had an adult version of Chicken Pox. But during those first 5 days, the isolation and uncertainty I felt made me wonder if my end had come.

I remember the utter horror and futility I felt when our house caught on fire. My two neighbors and I stood in the cold watching my house engulfed in flames as the firemen tried to save as much of it as they could.

I remember the frustration and helplessness I felt when I couldn’t fix someone’s problem, improve a church situation, help a couple desperate to fix their marriage or give hope to a man who was paralyzed by depression and wanted to die.

Those are just a few experiences that came to my mind as I watched Noland try to survive four years marooned on an island, only to return home and discover his former life no longer existed.   

But in the final scene, Noland arrives at a crossroad, and his desperate situation is transformed into one of opportunity and hope. He has a choice- he can be a victim of his circumstance, or he can face them with courage and forge on.

We know that feeling too, don’t we? Before, during, and after times of confusion and futility, we stand at a crossroad that could permanently change the course of our lives.

So what will we make of this day? Will we take the opportunity to offer a word of encouragement to someone in need, or will we find the courage to seek out the encouragement we need from someone else? Will we live this day to please God, or will we choose to focus on our own pleasure instead?

I am confident and grateful that God is with me at each crossroad, reminding me of His presence, listening to my concerns, and assuring me that, whichever road I choose, He will be with me.

We don’t know what this week will bring. We may experience feelings of desperation and isolation. And we may be faced with disappointment and futility.

All we can do is make a choice- be victims of our circumstances or face them with courage and forge on.

My prayer for you this week is that you face the day, or even just the next hour, with courage and as much joy you can, allowing God to walk with you and light your path.

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Tom Norvell’s Coaching & Counseling

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A Norvell Note © Copyright 2019 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

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Vol. 21 No. 29 | July 22, 2019

How do they do it? What compels them to go without sleep, sacrifice their time, and go the extra mile? What keeps them from throwing in the towel?

The police officer who is constantly scrutinized and criticized by the public.

The single parent who sacrifices everything for his or her kids.

The divorced man or woman who gets up alone and goes to bed alone every night.

The broken-hearted lovers who feel a pain as relentless and it is unbearable.

The middle-aged man who realizes his life-long dream is never going to happen.

The teacher who is overworked, underpaid, and disrespected.

The small business owner who continues to scrape by, struggling to keep the doors open and hoping to make it to the end of another year.

The ones who are oppressed because of their gender, skin color, sexual orientation, religious beliefs, or for just being different from the status quo.

How do they do it? How do they keep going?

I see them, am amazed by them, and want to be more like them.

I don’t know if they believe in Him or share His beliefs and convictions. But when I watch these people, I cannot help but see Jesus in them, reminding me of His words:

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
    because he has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
    and recovery of sight for the blind,
to set the oppressed free,

    to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” (Luke 4:18-19, NIV)

Like Jesus, these people understand who they are and why they’re here. They are determined to forge on, to fulfill their purpose, no matter the cost.

Or maybe they haven’t figured out who they are or why they are here, but they still choose to live authentically, with conviction, integrity, love, and compassion.

To all of these people who live with such courage and grace, thank you. You are seen, admired, loved, and respected.

May I be a mirror so you can see all that you are, may you accept all that you are, and may you thrive.

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Tom Norvell’s Coaching & Counseling

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Click here to order Until Hope Returns.

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2019 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

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Vol. 21 No. 28 | July 15, 2019

Our oldest granddaughter, Isabel, is on her way home after spending the past week with us. Although she has stayed with us before, it was always with her parents. This was the first time she would be spending an entire week with us by herself and her first time away from home for this long. It was also the first time we would be spending an entire week alone with one of our grandchildren.

I think we were all a bit nervous. What if she got homesick, or worse, physically sick? What if she asked for something we can’t allow? What if something happens to her while she’s with us? How will she do when she wakes up and her parents are gone?

But we were also excited and planned a week packed full of activities- pancakes and strawberry popsicles, sleeping on the sofa, sleeping in a fort, spending the night with cousin Norah, a trip to the donut shop, a trip to Aunt Laura’s shop, swimming, watching movies, eating watermelon, ordering pizza, burgers on the grill, a trip to the mall, more swimming, camping in the backyard (which was abandoned for an air-conditioned room without the flies), FaceTime with the family (that included lots of laughter and some moments trying to hold back tears), more swimming, and more pancakes.

We got through the week with only some minor hiccups- a couple of cousin squabbles; a few gentle reminders that “We don’t do that.” Constant requests for a snack, followed by and an equal amount of “I’m still hungry.”

But, thanks to her dad, who had packed a bag of “just in case” items, there were no complaints about being bored.

As the week comes to an end, the memories are already filling up my mind, along with hopes for the future…

I hope the silence in our home from the absence of little voices and laughter won’t be too deafening.

I hope the memories made this week will be the first of many. And I hope they will continue even when she grows up and prefers spending time with her friends over visiting Papa and Yei-Yei.

I hope that she will always know that we love her more than she will be able to understand until she has a grandchild of her own.

I hope I’ll never forget the look on her face when she stepped off the subway at her stop, inhaled deeply, and said, “Mmmmm. That smells good.”

And I hope our home will always be a place she wants to come back to, a place she knows she will find love, joy, peace, pancakes and strawberry popsicles.  

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Tom Norvell’s Coaching & Counseling

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Click here to order Until Hope Returns.

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Vol. 21 No. 27 | July 8, 2019

It was one of those “when-will-this-happen-again” family events.

Scheduled around the 4^th of July, we were able to get my two brothers and our spouses; our four sons and one daughter and their spouses; and our thirteen grandchildren, all together in one room.

It took a good amount of effort to schedule, time and money to travel, and gracious hospitality. But it was worth it. For a few hours we were all together for good food, heartfelt conversations, and fellowship of the richest kind.

I came away with these reflections.

Family gatherings take effort. A few weeks earlier, none of us would have thought a gathering like this was even possible. But someone had the idea, shared it with the rest of us, and everyone agreed to make it happen.

Modern technology and transportation offer us opportunities and adventures that make it easy to keep in close contact with our loved ones. But to be face-to-face with them requires intentional action.

Time passes quickly. Some of us had not seen each other in years, and some of the children are almost unrecognizable compared to the younger images that were etched in our minds. It’s feasible that some of them will be adults and have children before we see them again. Time passes quickly and we have to take advantage of these opportunities when we have them.

Family gatherings also remind us of those who are missing. We try not to dampen the spirit of being together or drift into nostalgic melancholy, but it is difficult to avoid. As I watched our children and grand-girls interact with my siblings’ children and grandchildren, I could not help but think that our sister would have enjoyed this. I also thought of my parents and wondered if they had any idea what would evolve out of their union so many years ago.

I love my family. I have been blessed by my family. Memories like we created this weekend motivate me to live in a way that reflects the values and traditions of our family. I realize that not everyone is as fortunate as I am to have grown up with and enjoy the family I have.

I also know, for those who don’t have a close family, that it may not be too late. I believe it is possible to develop and nurture your own healthy, happy family if you are intentional and invest in doing what it takes to cultivate one.

This is my hope, that one day you will see your family flourish and enjoy one another. It takes effort. It takes time. But it will be worth it.

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Tom Norvell’s Coaching & Counseling

______________

Chick here to order Until Hope Returns.

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2019 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

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