Vol. 21 No. 34 | August 26, 2019

Recently, I ventured into one of those large outdoor “man” stores in search of that one basic item to I could buy with my coupon.

The banner hanging above the entrance read: “Fall Hunting Classic. It’s your season!” That should have been a clue, but I went in anyway.

I wasn’t there long before I realized I was totally out of my element.

You see, I’ve never purchased a fishing license, so I have all the fishing gear I need (which is none). And the only time I’ve ever been in a deer stand was with my brother, and all I did was drink coffee and talk to my brother.

I have one pair of cargo shorts wear occasionally to do yard work, so I wasn’t tempted by the wide selection of cargo shorts and pants.

And I’ve never thought camouflage clothing was exactly appropriate for preaching, teaching, writing, counseling, or visiting hospice patients.

The only firearm I’ve ever owned was a bee-bee gun I had as a kid. Although I did notice a pretty cool pistol holster on sale. But I decided my iPad wouldn’t fit in it, so I moved on.

After wandering aimlessly for fifteen minutes or so, I gave up, chuckling to myself. Why in the world am I here? With that, I left the Fall Hunting Classic behind, unused coupon still in hand.

Fortunately, my experience was harmless, but there are times when feeling out of our element is not so innocent.

It’s becoming increasingly common to hear about people being bullied or physically harmed simply because they were out of their element and vulnerable.

Some of us have left church assemblies because we sensed someone like us or with our circumstances, wouldn’t be welcomed. Or we may be attending a church where the culture has shifted. and we now feel uncomfortable and disconnected. 

And victims of discrimination, abuse, or oppression may wonder if any place will ever feel comfortable and safe.

In some cases, we can laugh at ourselves and move on. But, there are other times when we need to remove ourselves from a place or community for our highest good, regardless of what other people say or think. 

But the truth is, even when we feel alone or abandoned, there is always a place where we will be welcome, safe, and love: wherever Jesus is…which is everywhere, s

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

(Matthew 11:28, NIV)

He will give you rest and show you that you belong.

Oh, by the way, that, that hunting season sale ends soon.

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Tom Norvell’s Coaching & Counseling

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Vol. 21 No. 33 | August 19, 2019

“Two things I ask of you, Lord;
    do not refuse me before I die:
Keep falsehood and lies far from me;
    give me neither poverty nor riches,
    but give me only my daily bread.
Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you
    and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’
Or I may become poor and steal,
    and so dishonor the name of my God. (Proverbs 30:7-9, NIV)

On more than one occasion, I’ve prayed these words, followed by another prayer: “God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” (Luke 18:13, NIV)

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a habitual liar, (although I may have just lied), and I always strive to tell the truth. But I’m human. There are times when I say I’m fine, and I’m not; when I tell someone I’m happy to see them, and I’m not; when I promised to pray for someone, and I didn’t; and when I allowed my silence to imply approval, when that’s not what I felt. 

As far as money, wealth, and poverty go, I’ve tried to strike a balance. We’ve been very blessed throughout the years- never gone hungry and always had a place to live. But in truth, there is always an underlying desire to have more. 

That said, I still do my best to practice contentment, and I know a balance of possessions is the best approach. But as my friend recently said, “Hit me up in an hour, and I may have already caught the 10 o’clock to Wantsville! But for now, I am content and at peace. God is good. 

I think this prayer and my desire to live it can be summed up with my favorite line in O Sacred Head, Now Wounded: “Lord, let me never, never outlive my love to Thee.” (Bernard of Clairvaux)

I hope you’ll join me this week as I try to refocus my thoughts and daily living to reflect this ancient prayer- to live truthfully and to truthfully live with gratitude by trusting that the Lord knows what I need and will graciously provide. 

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Tom Norvell’s Coaching & Counseling 

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Click here to order Until Hope Returns. 

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Vol. 21 No. 32 | August 12, 2019

Each week, when I sit down at my computer to write, I try to remind myself of these words:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29, NIV)

I’ve never had a problem with using “bad” language (Around other people, that is, alone in my car is a whole different story). But I do have to work to keep my critical and judgmental comments in check, so I often repeat this prayer:

Lord, give me words that are helpful for building others up according to their needs and will benefit those who listen.

Lately, it feels like words that “build up and benefit” are in short supply, doesn’t it? Instead, words meant to demoralize, vilify, and dehumanize seem to be the norm. I fear too many people have become fluent in a common language that incites hatred, rage, and violence, and I believe it’s killing us- body, mind, and spirit.

Let’s do our part to change this. Let’s make a commitment to be intentional with one of the most powerful resources we have: our words and the ability to build others up according to their needs [and] benefit those who listen.

Here’s a useful tip that helps me:

When you read a comment on a social media page that makes you want to take a hammer to your computer screen, go ahead and respond: type exactly what you’re thinking and feeling, but DO NOT SEND IT! Copy and paste it somewhere safe and walk away. Wait a few hours (24 is best) and read it again. Then ask yourself these two questions: Does it build up the person according to their needs? Is it going to benefit those who see it?

Sometimes the person on the receiving end needs to be confronted, and you may be just the person to do it. But, you may not. Let your words marinate for a while before you hurl them out into the world for all to see, permanently.

It’s sometimes too easy to be negative, to judge and criticize. And it’s sometimes very challenging to keep things on a positive track. But when you’re in a group setting and the conversation starts to turn in a negative direction – whether about politics, religion, politics in religion, or how much milk costs – say something to shift the conversation to a more positive tone.

Because, when we choose to use language that helps and heals, we’re not only benefiting others, we’re demonstrating wisdom, kindness, and courage. But when we choose words that hurt and demoralize, we are inflicting pain on others and proving we’re weak-minded, cruel, and insecure.

And trust me, you’ll be much more popular and appreciated making people feel better and the room feel brighter.

So that’s my challenge for the week: share words that build others up according to their needs [and] benefit those who listen.

Remember, you have the power to lift others up, and by doing so, you too, will rise.

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Tom Norvell’s Coaching & Counseling

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Vol. 21 No. 31 | August 5, 2019

We were cruising up the freeway when a silver Tesla pulled up beside us. I noticed his hands weren’t on the steering wheel, even when we started moving again. I watched as the car followed the curves of the road, changing lanes and adjusting speed as needed. But the driver never touched the wheel.

The car finally exited the freeway and quickly disappeared. We drove on,  but I couldn’t stop thinking about the car.

I thought about how amazing technology is, and how it also kind of freaked me out. I’m not sure if I could do it, give up control and trust I would be safe.”

I somehow doubt I will ever have a self-driving car that forces me to trust technology. But I do know I make decisions whether to trust or not several times a day.

When I go to a restaurant, I trust the people preparing and serving my food have followed proper regulations to assure my food is safe to eat.

When my mechanic tells me not to worry, he will take care of everything, I have faith that he knows what he’s doing and he will take care of everything.

I trust the doctor when he or she tells me what I need to do to maintain good health.

When I deposit money in the bank, I trust that it will be in my account the next time I use my debit card.

When I say goodbye to my wife, children, and grand-girls. I trust they will be well, and I will see them again.

We all have to trust people and things like technology, don’t we? Even those who struggle with trust, have to on some level.

There are times when I also struggle with giving up control. It makes me uncomfortable when I sense the Lord is asking me to let Him drive. What if He drives faster or slower than I want to go, or misses a turn, or doesn’t stop when I want Him to?

These are the times when I have to remind myself of His promises and remember, He can be trusted.

Take delight in the Lord,
    and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;
    trust in Him and He will do this:
He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
    your vindication like the noonday sun. (Psalm 37:4-6, NIV)

Don’t be surprised if this week, you may hear the Lord say, “Let go of the wheel, I’ve got you. I know the future is uncertain and you’re afraid, but I’ve got you. Trust me.”

If you need help responding to the Lord when you hear Him, the words from this old song might help.

I surrender all
I surrender all
All to Thee my blessed Saviour
I surrender all (Israel Houghton)

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Tom Norvell’s Coaching & Counseling

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Click here to order Until Hope Returns.

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