Vol. 21 No. 32 | August 12, 2019
Each week, when I sit down at my computer to write, I try to remind myself of these words:
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29, NIV)
I’ve never had a problem with using “bad” language (Around other people, that is, alone in my car is a whole different story). But I do have to work to keep my critical and judgmental comments in check, so I often repeat this prayer:
Lord, give me words that are helpful for building others up according to their needs and will benefit those who listen.
Lately, it feels like words that “build up and benefit” are in short supply, doesn’t it? Instead, words meant to demoralize, vilify, and dehumanize seem to be the norm. I fear too many people have become fluent in a common language that incites hatred, rage, and violence, and I believe it’s killing us- body, mind, and spirit.
Let’s do our part to change this. Let’s make a commitment to be intentional with one of the most powerful resources we have: our words and the ability to build others up according to their needs [and] benefit those who listen.
Here’s a useful tip that helps me:
When you read a comment on a social media page that makes you want to take a hammer to your computer screen, go ahead and respond: type exactly what you’re thinking and feeling, but DO NOT SEND IT! Copy and paste it somewhere safe and walk away. Wait a few hours (24 is best) and read it again. Then ask yourself these two questions: Does it build up the person according to their needs? Is it going to benefit those who see it?
Sometimes the person on the receiving end needs to be confronted, and you may be just the person to do it. But, you may not. Let your words marinate for a while before you hurl them out into the world for all to see, permanently.
It’s sometimes too easy to be negative, to judge and criticize. And it’s sometimes very challenging to keep things on a positive track. But when you’re in a group setting and the conversation starts to turn in a negative direction – whether about politics, religion, politics in religion, or how much milk costs – say something to shift the conversation to a more positive tone.
Because, when we choose to use language that helps and heals, we’re not only benefiting others, we’re demonstrating wisdom, kindness, and courage. But when we choose words that hurt and demoralize, we are inflicting pain on others and proving we’re weak-minded, cruel, and insecure.
And trust me, you’ll be much more popular and appreciated making people feel better and the room feel brighter.
So that’s my challenge for the week: share words that build others up according to their needs [and] benefit those who listen.
Remember, you have the power to lift others up, and by doing so, you too, will rise.
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