A Norvell Note for April 25, 2022
Vol. 26 No. 17
Communication
Do you ever get frustrated as you share directions to your location with a friend over the phone? You know what you are saying and know all the landmarks that stand out along the path, but the friend on the other end of the call is still lost. So you try again, talking slower and then louder, but they still don’t get it. Or maybe the roles are reversed, and you are trying to understand your co-worker’s instructions on how to complete a project. To them, the instructions make perfect sense. To you, it’s gibberish—the frustration increases.
There is a reason for the frustration. Clear and effective communication takes effort. Maybe that’s why Jesus said, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear.”
Across the coffee shop from me, there is what appears to be a tutoring session taking place. The young lady tutoring another lady will occasionally pause, lean back in her chair, rub her eyes, and take a deep breath to say, “Why can’t you get this?” Then, a little later, she’ll smile and raise her hands in celebratory fashion, expressing, “That’s it! Good job!”
Tony Weston (college friend, fellow communications major, brother in Christ, and occasional musical partner) told this story many times during speech competitions.
An elderly gentleman and his wife were sitting on the front porch. He turned to her and said, “I’m PROUD of you, Maw!” She leaned toward him and said, “eeeehh?” He repeated, “I’m PROUD of you, Maw!” She leaned towards him again and said, “eeehh?” He repeated loudly, “I said I’m PROUD of you, Maw!” She spits on the floor and says, “I’m TIRED of you too, Paw!”
We laugh at the story, but the truth remains that clear and effective communication takes effort.
After decades of searching for words, illustrations, practices, and styles that help transfer my thoughts so that others can receive and understand, I have collected a few insights that seem to help.
Good intentions are not enough. “This is what I meant to say.” “I didn’t mean to say that.” Your message may be clear and concise to you, but the person sitting across from you may be hearing something different. That’s not a bad thing; it’s just reality.
Know and pay attention to your audience. If you know and understand the people you are communicating with, you should be able to adjust your message and style, which will help them know what you are saying.
Know what you want to say and say it. Have you ever been listening to a sermon only to realize halfway through the speaker had no idea what he was saying?
Listen and hear what is said. Listening is an essential element in the communication process that we overlook. Listen with the intent of understanding, not just waiting for the speaker to stop talking so you can say what you want to say. Listen.
After centuries of trying to communicate His love to the world, God eventually demonstrated it by sending His one and only Son into the world to live, die and rise from the tomb. Yet, even with that, we sometimes don’t get it. Clear and effective communication is difficult, but not impossible. It is possible. It’s worth the effort.
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