Author: TomNorvell

   Vol. 21 No. 41 | October 14, 2019 

Sometimes things don’t go as planned.

The car won’t  start when we need to get to work, or your baby’s diaper needs changing just as we are about to leave the house.

Sometimes our flight gets delayed, we get stuck in traffic, or we get sick while on vacation.

And sometimes, no matter what we do, our dreams really won’t come true. 

So, how do you handle yourself when things don’t go according to plan? Do you get angry and blame someone else? Do you kick and scream, and question God’s existence because you didn’t get what you wanted?

We all do one or all of these things when we feel defeated, and it’s natural to have negative thoughts and feelings. We need to give ourselves permission to feel what we feel. But then, we need to take a step back and pray for an enlightened perspective. 

Here are two that help me when I’m struggling  

When Jesus was being dragged to the cross, this is how He responded: 

Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as You will. (Matthew 26:39, NIV)

While imprisoned, Paul wrote: 

I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. (Philippians 4:12, NIV)

These responses sound reasonable enough, don’t they? But to reach that kind of peace and acceptance with God’s will takes discipline and only comes as a result of developing a deeply intimate relationship with God. And that means spending a lot of time with the Word and in prayer.

So the next time something doesn’t go as planned, we’re going to have to decide how to react. But this time, let’s try a different approach. Let’s first do “nothing.” Let’s just take a few minutes to pray and remind ourselves of Jesus’s words: 

Yet not as I will, but as you will.

______________________________ 

Tom Norvell’s Coaching & Counseling

Click here to order Until Hope Returns.

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2019 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved 

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Vol. 21 No. 40 | October 7, 2019

Our family reunions always include great food and meals together, lots of time catching up on the past year and sharing family photos. It also usually includes a visit or two to the cemetery. 

As I have strolled along the headstones, reading the names of those buried underneath-and the dates when they were born and when they died- I wondered what their lives were like. Where did they live? Did they have a family? Was their life one of adventure and good fortune, or disappointment and hardship? Did they love and were they loved well?

It reminded me of these words from Jesus: 

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (John 10:10, NIV)

I know my life is full, but am I fully living?

I am blessed with abundance, good health, loving family and friends, and a purpose for living. 

God has done His part, but am I doing mine to live with fullness and gratitude? I thought about what living fully means to me…

living fully means I find joy in who I am and what I do. It means I know my purpose and live intentionally to bring glory to God.  It means appreciating the blessings I receive and doing what I can to be a blessing to others.

Living life to the fullest means enduring life’s difficulties with patience and confidence, and sharing what I learn with others. It also means finding the joy in my daily life and sharing that as well. 

A full life includes beginning the day in anticipation of what God is going to do and ending it with gratitude for what He has done.

Jesus came to give us life in its fullest expression. My hope is that you continue to evolve, living fully and courageously, every day of your life. 

______________________________

Tom Norvell’s Coaching & Counseling

Click here to order Until Hope Returns.

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2019 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

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Vol. 21 No. 39 | September 30, 2019

I sat in the chair by the window, journaling and enjoying a steaming cup of coffee. I glanced up at my screensaver and the photos caught my attention. 

As I watched the photos transition from one to the other, I drifted back to Nana’s sunroom, beach trips, family meals, and images of the grandgirls, all reminding me how quickly time passes. 

I walked down the aisle of my children’s weddings, as well as my own.

I relived the seasons- the beautiful trees and fall colors, serene snowfalls, sunrises, and sunsets…so many sunsets.

I  thought about church gatherings, sporting events, golf trips and their expansive courses.

I strolled down trails, past solitary ponds and along the rivers where I once walked or jogged to reset my mind and soul.

I sat on the edge of a mountain, pondering the questions of life.

After an undetermined amount of time, I forced myself to snap out of it and focus on the things I had to do.

But, before I completely came back to reality, I paused and thanked the One who created all of those people and places allowing me to experience them, even if only for brief moments in time.  

Thank you, God, for all You’ve done for me and through me.

As a boy growing up in Hope, Arkansas, I never imagined the joy I would find in life, the places I would see, the people I would come to know, and the family I would be blessed with.

Thank You, God, for all you are doing for me and through me.. 

As I go through each day, I’m amazed with what God does for me- giving me words to speak and write;  shaping my attitudes and softening my heart and allowing me to love and show mercy for the people I meet.  

Thank You, God, for all you will do for me and through me…please, continue to use me to share Your love and do Your work.

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20-22, NIV)

Vol. 21 No. 38 | September 23, 2019

I recently saw a cartoon showing a man opening the door to leave his house, and all his devices start asking where he’s going and when he’ll be back.

I think this illustration was trying to communicate several messages, including the fact that his devices were asking the questions his family should have been.

I recently did some intensive research (okay, I Googled it) to see how many messages the average person receives on a daily basis.

Here’s what I found (keep in mind, some results are 2-3 years old):

●  70% of ​StopAd​ users block an average of 200 ads/day on Windows desktop devices alone. (I’m admittedly not really sure why anyone would be using a Window device).

●  If folks from the marketing firm Yankelovich, Inc. (are right, the average modern person is exposed to around ​5,000 ads per day​.

●  On average, Americans send and receive about 94 text messages/day.

●  By the end of 2019, we can expect to see 2.9 billion email users worldwide (which is more than one-third of the global population).

●  Approximately 269 billion emails were sent and received each day in 2017. According to ​Statista​, that figure is expected to increase to 320 billion emails/day in 2021. Point is, we receive a lot of messages every day.

I suppose that is why, every time I read through the book of Proverbs in the Old Testament, the word “listen” jumps off the page.

Here are a few lines from the first chapter, and there are twenty others throughout the rest of the book.

Let the wise listen and add to their learning,
and let the discerning get guidance. (Proverbs 1:​5)

Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. (Proverbs 1:8)

But whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm. (Proverbs 1:33)

With so many messages coming at us every day, it’s important to have a discerning filtering system to make sure we are hearing what we need to. So here are a few simple suggestions that help me:

1. Turn off some of your devices for designated periods of time and focus on the things and people who are important to you. Ask you, friends and family, to do the same.

2. Be very selective about what you watch, listen to and read. One of the great things about the technology we have today is that we have the option to choose what we watch or listen to. And I know this seems unheard of, but every device has an “off” switch.
It’s also important to block or “unfriend” people who are toxic or not enhancing your life in a positive way. Most will never know you’ve blocked them, so you won’t hurt their feelings.

3. Set aside some time to just be quiet and listen every day, even if only for a few minutes. Take some deep cleansing breaths and just listen to the silence, to the breeze, to your loved ones, and to the Lord. You’ll be amazed by all the messages you’ll receive…the kind you won’t want to block.

______________________________
Tom Norvell’s Coaching & Counseling
Click here to order Until Hope Returns.
A Norvell Note © Copyright 2019 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved Subscribe @ A Norvell Note

Vol. 21 No. 37 | September 16, 2019

I had my playlist set to a mix of international tunes meant to express joy, love, hope, and peace. Most of the songs were familiar and in English. Others were sung in foreign languages from all over the world. 

All the songs were colorful and lively,  and I found myself strumming and thumping along on the steering wheel. But I admit, I did skip a song or two when I couldn’t understand the language and the tune was unfamiliar. Obviously there was a message in the music, but I could not understand it. 

I was with a team on a mission to share the message of Jesus with people in another country. Most did not understand English, I spoke only a few Ukrainian words (and those were often mispronounced). Fortunately, a translator was provided to help us communicate. Without the translator, our message was lost. 

The atmosphere was similar to some churches I had attended decades ago. Most were friendly but suspicious of a stranger. The worship included only the old  traditional favorites he message was basically “We are right, and everyone else is wrong.” If there was a message of Jesus I could not understand it. 

I believe our Creator’s overall message to the world has always been this: “I made you, I love you, and I want you to know that.” For centuries, His efforts to communicate this have often been either ignored, denied, misinterpreted or misunderstood. 

God was determined to communicate His love for us, in a way that could be understood, so God sent Jesus to deliver His message. He was a human being like us. He lived among us. He became one of us to show us the message. Yet even today, His message continues to be ignored, criticized and misunderstood by so many. 

God has a message for us that transcends language barriers, borders, and backgrounds. His message is simply to offer us peace, hope, love, and joy, and help us spread peace, hope, love, and joy with everyone around us. 

My desire is to live by example and communicate the message Jesus came to share with all of us, knowing we are all equal in the eyes of God, and we all are worthy of a life filled with peace, hope, love, and joy. 

I hope you see Jesus this week, in yourself, and in all others. 

______________________________

Tom Norvell’s Coaching & Counseling

Click here to order Until Hope Returns.

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2019 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

Subscribe @ A Norvell Note

Vol. 21 No. 36 | September 9, 2019

It’s one of those days when thoughts and emotions move faster through my mind than I can process. Ever had a day or night like that, when you can’t sleep or focus? 

I think of an opportunity that looks and sounds good, and at the same time, I can’t help but think of all the drawbacks and negatives that might come with it.  I think about decisions I need to make and wrestle with the advantages and disadvantages of each.

I think of people in my life, some experiencing exciting life-changing events, others, devastating ones.

I think about all the people reeling from the devastating effects of Hurricane Dorian, or a random shooting, or serious illness, while others are anticipating the change of seasons, or listening to the ocean waves or enjoying a visit with friends and family.

As I try to sort through all of life’s complicated contradictions, the Lord reminds me of these words. 

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:4-7, NIV)

I find these truths (which all just happen to start with “r”) help me find some peace in the midst of all the chaos.  

Rejoice. Rejoice. Rejoice. And rejoice again. Of course, there are many things you can be sad about. But there are countless more you can be grateful for. You’re safe, you have people who love you and you’re breathing, so rejoice. 

Remember. The Lord is near. He is with us and will not leave us alone. He protects and empowers us. With that, you can relax and let your peace and gentleness be felt and enjoyed by all. That’s another reason to rejoice. 

Relinquish. Relinquish your desire to control the world. Deciding how everything is going to go and what everyone should do isn’t your responsibility. So relax. God’s on top of it He’s got your back. 

Relish. Relish in the peace that comes from rejoicing, remembering, and relinquishing control. 

You have four tasks this week: Rejoice. Remember. Relinquish. Relish. 

When you do those four things, I am confident that all those troubled thoughts and emotions colliding with each other in your brain will settle down, and some will even disappear.  Let me know how it goes. 

______________________________

Tom Norvell’s Coaching & Counseling

Click here to order Until Hope Returns.

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2019 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

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Vol. 21 No. 35 | September 2, 2019

In a letter Paul wrote to Christ’s followers, he reminded them that living as a Christian comes with the opportunity and responsibility to make a positive impact on the people and world around them.

 ^“Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” (Colossians 4:5-6, NIV)

“Use your heads as you live and work among outsiders. Don’t miss a trick. 

Make the most of every opportunity. Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out.” (Colossians 4:5-6, The Message)

Make the most of every opportunity…

Although I’ve probably read and shared these words a hundred times, this time, more than ever before, I felt like Paul was talking to me. I’m a follower of Jesus, which means I have the opportunity and responsibility to make a positive contribution to the people and world around me.

As I reflect on the past week, I realize I had countless opportunities to positively impact the world around me. There was the conversation I had with the customer service representative, who was clearly misinformed and mistaken…I’m not sure I made her world any better that day.  

There were other conversations- with insurance agents, baristas, social media connections, family, friends, and co-workers. I wonder, did I help make their day or world any better? Did my words, attitude, and demeanor bring out the best in them?

Deeper reflection reminds me of the countless opportunities and tremendous responsibility we have to improve the world around us, even if it’s in the smallest way.

We are surrounded by people who are afraid, discouraged, and hopeless. Are we doing anything to relieve their fears, lift their spirits, and give them hope? Or are we letting our own fears and hopelessness consume and paralyze us.

In the same letter referenced above, Paul also wrote, “Christ in you, the hope of glory.”  

The society we live in seems to exalt arrogance and pride. But are these qualities we would use to describe Jesus? If Jesus resides within us, should these be qualities we exalt and praise? I don’t think so. So instead, we have to seize the opportunity to demonstrate humility and grace.

We can remain silent or complain about the hatred, discrimination, and violence we see around us. Or, we can invite the Spirit of God to work in and through us and act with peace, love, and tolerance.

On any given day, we will have dozens of opportunities to say something encouraging, lend a helping hand, share something inspirational, or just be kind and gracious. These opportunities are gifts, both to have and to share.

Friends, we can no longer afford to be complacent. We can no longer be so consumed with our own needs and agendas that we pass up opportunities to make the world a better place.

We can do better. We must do better…the world needs us.

______________

Tom Norvell’s Coaching & Counseling

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Click here to order Until Hope Returns.

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2019 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

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Vol. 21 No. 34 | August 26, 2019

Recently, I ventured into one of those large outdoor “man” stores in search of that one basic item to I could buy with my coupon.

The banner hanging above the entrance read: “Fall Hunting Classic. It’s your season!” That should have been a clue, but I went in anyway.

I wasn’t there long before I realized I was totally out of my element.

You see, I’ve never purchased a fishing license, so I have all the fishing gear I need (which is none). And the only time I’ve ever been in a deer stand was with my brother, and all I did was drink coffee and talk to my brother.

I have one pair of cargo shorts wear occasionally to do yard work, so I wasn’t tempted by the wide selection of cargo shorts and pants.

And I’ve never thought camouflage clothing was exactly appropriate for preaching, teaching, writing, counseling, or visiting hospice patients.

The only firearm I’ve ever owned was a bee-bee gun I had as a kid. Although I did notice a pretty cool pistol holster on sale. But I decided my iPad wouldn’t fit in it, so I moved on.

After wandering aimlessly for fifteen minutes or so, I gave up, chuckling to myself. Why in the world am I here? With that, I left the Fall Hunting Classic behind, unused coupon still in hand.

Fortunately, my experience was harmless, but there are times when feeling out of our element is not so innocent.

It’s becoming increasingly common to hear about people being bullied or physically harmed simply because they were out of their element and vulnerable.

Some of us have left church assemblies because we sensed someone like us or with our circumstances, wouldn’t be welcomed. Or we may be attending a church where the culture has shifted. and we now feel uncomfortable and disconnected. 

And victims of discrimination, abuse, or oppression may wonder if any place will ever feel comfortable and safe.

In some cases, we can laugh at ourselves and move on. But, there are other times when we need to remove ourselves from a place or community for our highest good, regardless of what other people say or think. 

But the truth is, even when we feel alone or abandoned, there is always a place where we will be welcome, safe, and love: wherever Jesus is…which is everywhere, s

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

(Matthew 11:28, NIV)

He will give you rest and show you that you belong.

Oh, by the way, that, that hunting season sale ends soon.

______________

Tom Norvell’s Coaching & Counseling

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Click here to order Until Hope Returns.

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2019 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

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Vol. 21 No. 33 | August 19, 2019

“Two things I ask of you, Lord;
    do not refuse me before I die:
Keep falsehood and lies far from me;
    give me neither poverty nor riches,
    but give me only my daily bread.
Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you
    and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’
Or I may become poor and steal,
    and so dishonor the name of my God. (Proverbs 30:7-9, NIV)

On more than one occasion, I’ve prayed these words, followed by another prayer: “God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” (Luke 18:13, NIV)

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a habitual liar, (although I may have just lied), and I always strive to tell the truth. But I’m human. There are times when I say I’m fine, and I’m not; when I tell someone I’m happy to see them, and I’m not; when I promised to pray for someone, and I didn’t; and when I allowed my silence to imply approval, when that’s not what I felt. 

As far as money, wealth, and poverty go, I’ve tried to strike a balance. We’ve been very blessed throughout the years- never gone hungry and always had a place to live. But in truth, there is always an underlying desire to have more. 

That said, I still do my best to practice contentment, and I know a balance of possessions is the best approach. But as my friend recently said, “Hit me up in an hour, and I may have already caught the 10 o’clock to Wantsville! But for now, I am content and at peace. God is good. 

I think this prayer and my desire to live it can be summed up with my favorite line in O Sacred Head, Now Wounded: “Lord, let me never, never outlive my love to Thee.” (Bernard of Clairvaux)

I hope you’ll join me this week as I try to refocus my thoughts and daily living to reflect this ancient prayer- to live truthfully and to truthfully live with gratitude by trusting that the Lord knows what I need and will graciously provide. 

______________

Tom Norvell’s Coaching & Counseling 

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Click here to order Until Hope Returns. 

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2019 Tom Norvell All Rights ReservedSubscribe @ A Norvell Note

Vol. 21 No. 32 | August 12, 2019

Each week, when I sit down at my computer to write, I try to remind myself of these words:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29, NIV)

I’ve never had a problem with using “bad” language (Around other people, that is, alone in my car is a whole different story). But I do have to work to keep my critical and judgmental comments in check, so I often repeat this prayer:

Lord, give me words that are helpful for building others up according to their needs and will benefit those who listen.

Lately, it feels like words that “build up and benefit” are in short supply, doesn’t it? Instead, words meant to demoralize, vilify, and dehumanize seem to be the norm. I fear too many people have become fluent in a common language that incites hatred, rage, and violence, and I believe it’s killing us- body, mind, and spirit.

Let’s do our part to change this. Let’s make a commitment to be intentional with one of the most powerful resources we have: our words and the ability to build others up according to their needs [and] benefit those who listen.

Here’s a useful tip that helps me:

When you read a comment on a social media page that makes you want to take a hammer to your computer screen, go ahead and respond: type exactly what you’re thinking and feeling, but DO NOT SEND IT! Copy and paste it somewhere safe and walk away. Wait a few hours (24 is best) and read it again. Then ask yourself these two questions: Does it build up the person according to their needs? Is it going to benefit those who see it?

Sometimes the person on the receiving end needs to be confronted, and you may be just the person to do it. But, you may not. Let your words marinate for a while before you hurl them out into the world for all to see, permanently.

It’s sometimes too easy to be negative, to judge and criticize. And it’s sometimes very challenging to keep things on a positive track. But when you’re in a group setting and the conversation starts to turn in a negative direction – whether about politics, religion, politics in religion, or how much milk costs – say something to shift the conversation to a more positive tone.

Because, when we choose to use language that helps and heals, we’re not only benefiting others, we’re demonstrating wisdom, kindness, and courage. But when we choose words that hurt and demoralize, we are inflicting pain on others and proving we’re weak-minded, cruel, and insecure.

And trust me, you’ll be much more popular and appreciated making people feel better and the room feel brighter.

So that’s my challenge for the week: share words that build others up according to their needs [and] benefit those who listen.

Remember, you have the power to lift others up, and by doing so, you too, will rise.

______________

Tom Norvell’s Coaching & Counseling

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Click here to order Until Hope Returns.

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2019 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

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