A Norvell Note

September 28, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 36

Listening To God

It is inappropriate to end a series of articles on listening without addressing the importance of listening to God. 

Jesus said, “Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.” (Mark 4:9, Luke 8:8, 14:35)

We all have ears; some of us hear better than others, but Jesus did not qualify his statement, “Whoever has good ears, let them hear.” He said Whoever has ears, let them hear.” In my view, our primary responsibility is to listen to the Lord. 

When a tragedy occurs, we may question God. “Where were you when this happened? Why did you do this?” “Why did you let this happen?” The questions are fine, ask them, God can handle them. 

Then, after the questions, listen. When you are reading God’s word, listen. As you listen to music, listen for Him. When you sit by the ocean, in the mountains, or lie on your bed in the middle of the night, listen. The Lord has been listening to your questions and is also listening to your heart. Even when you don’t hear Him, keep listening. He is still listening to you.

I cannot promise you that God will one day answer your questions or explain why things happened as they happened. I have questions that the Lord has helped me understand; I have other questions that I probably will never understand. I trust that He knows me and will do what is best for me. 

One question I ask the Lord when I do not understand His way is this: What do You want me to learn from this? He usually responds with this: “Tom, I know it is hard to endure the silence, trust me. I will show you what you need to know. Trust me with the rest. I love you and I have you.”

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

September 21, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 35

Listening: To Others and Ourselves

I’ve spent a lot of time over the last two weeks thinking about listening, writing about listening, and talking about listening with people who have read my words on listening. And I have spent quite a bit of time trying to listen. 

Listening to sermons, podcasts, music, people, and the news. One of the benefits of listening is that you learn about people, their dreams, their failures, and their struggles. When you understand them, you may know how they feel about world, national, and local events. When you listen and learn these things, you can respond to and care for them more effectively. 

While listening to podcasts and the news, I gain information. Some is good, some is bad. Some is true, some is untrue. Some news is encouraging, while other news discourages me, angers me, and makes me terribly sad. 

When gathering information, I try to listen to myself. If I don’t listen to and understand what my mind, body, and soul are saying to me, I risk fatigue and burnout. If that happens, I’m of no use to anyone. I must take my own advice. Listening to music, walking, and silence become keys to renewal and recovery. 

Effective listening is a key to good communication in business and personal relationships, but it never happens if we don’t listen to ourselves. Take care of yourself and listen to what your mind, body, heart, and soul are telling you. 

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

September 14, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 34

Lead With Your Ears

Last week I wrote about the importance of listening. This week, I am focusing on healthy ways of listening and some not-so-healthy ways. 

In the New Testament James wrote, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” (James 1:19-20, NIV) “Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue.” (The Message)

With “lead with your ears” as a foundational communication principle, let’s consider some Dos and Don’ts for listening.  

Don’t

Don’t assume you have all the answers. If possible, don’t assume anything about the other person or the purpose of the conversation other than that you are about to have a conversation. Lead with your ears.

Don’t go into the conversation or argument just waiting for your turn. Maybe you know what the person is going to say, but you may not. Lead with your ears. 

Don’t enter the conversation expecting a fight. Lower your defenses. Be calm. Be open. Lead with your ears.

Don’t listen just to get to your turn to talk. Pay attention. Lead with your ears.

Don’t interrupt. Let the person finish what they need to say. Lead with your ears.

Don’t be afraid of the silence. Sure, it’s awkward for a bit, but the awkwardness will pass. It is okay to sit in silence. Lead with your ears.

Do

Lead with your ears.

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

September 7, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 33

Just Listen

In 1976, the year Kim and I were married, and before I had a master’s degree in counseling, and long before I had an almost PhD (all but a diploma) in counseling, I read “How to Be a People Helper” (Dr. Gary Collins). On the back cover of that book are these words, 

“Everyone you know has problems, and it’s likely you can help them more than you realize. Think about it! You know that more ‘hurting’ people are helped by friends, relatives, parents, business associates, etc., than are helped by professional counselors. Even the counseling profession is facing that face. It is the objective of this book to help you become a better people helper than you already are; to help you become more sensitive to the feelings, need and pains of the people around you, to help you learn how to deal with ‘people-problem’ crisis; to help you learn how to use the same principles used by professionals I helping people; to help you know when and where to refer people who have problems too serious for you to handle, and to help you to understand how the principles of Christian discipleship are the basis for this total process.”

Almost fifty years later, I’m trying to learn to be a better people helper. 

Thanks to people helpers in my life – Jesus, friends, teachers, professors, family members, and long-distance mentors – I’ve learned a lot since 1976. I do not remember if Dr. Collins said this in his book or not, but probably the more important thing I’ve learned about helping people is this: just listen. 

Just listen. Listen to the words, their eyes, their silences, and their hearts. A part of the listening process is understanding that I cannot fix them, change them, or take away their pain. Jesus can, but I cannot. But I can listen. 

I cannot take away the sadness of a 90-year-old man who cannot understand why He is still here when he says, “I can’t do anything anymore.” I cannot change the fact that an 83-year-old lady feels angry and estranged from her son and daughter-in-law. But I can listen. 

I cannot undo what being married to a narcissistic husband for forty years did to the 91-year-old woman who, though much healthier now than she was then, still weeps as she shares her story. But I can listen. 

I cannot heal the friends who have been diagnosed with cancer, nor the friend who sobs as he describes what is going on with his family and the feelings of helplessness.

Although I often wish I could ease the grief in people who have suffered from church abuse, are devastated by the loss of a spouse or a child, or a relationship, or a teenager is trying to understand who she is. I cannot do that, but I can listen. 

Like Job’s friends, I find that I’m much more effective at helping people when I sit with them and just listen. I have learned that, as Solomon said, “a time to be silent and a time to listen.” When I need help, usually that’s what I want: someone who will just listen. 

Do you want to help someone you love? Start by listening to them.  

Just listen.

Tom

I love you.

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

August 31, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 32

Not Enough

“Thoughts and prayers are not enough.” We’ve heard those words once again in Minneapolis, a shooter killed two children and injured eighteen others while they were singing and praying in what should be the safety of their school and church. We must do something.

I agree, thoughts and prayers are not enough, but at least it is a start. So, let’s start there. 

Remind parents who drop their children off at school or put them on a bus in the morning, you are thinking about them and praying for them and their children. Then, really pray for them to be kept safe and to return home safely at the end of the day. Remind them often that you are thinking about them and praying for them.

Take the time to think about and research ways to improve things. When you see a school that provides a safe and secure environment where children and teachers can work, learn, and play without fear, compliment them on their system. When you see one that lacks a security system, encourage them to make improvements.  

I’m not suggesting protests in the street or banning weapons and firearms, but I am suggesting that we use good common sense on how we sell weapons to whom we sell them. Parents, grandparents, friends, pay attention to what’s going on around you. If you notice something that looks out of place, please speak up. 

If you hold a position of leadership in the community, use your influence and authority to promote positive change and reduce the angry rhetoric that is so prevalent in our culture.

Obviously, we have not yet found a foolproof security system, and perhaps there is no perfect system, but we can strive to do better. Let’s think, let’s pray, let’s do something. Let’s do whatever it takes to protect our children and help them feel safe.

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

August 24, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 31

The Voice of My Heart

Sometimes when I am writing, I get stuck. My mind is full of thoughts and images of people and situations, but I cannot transfer those thoughts and images to paper, a computer screen, or verbal expressions. I sip my coffee, pray for words, pause, and look around the room. I listen to music, maybe pet the cat, stare out the window, and wait. Usually, the words come.

The same thing often happens when I am praying. Faces and places hover above, around, and inside me. So, I sit quietly with my thoughts and pray, “Father, hear what’s in my heart.” He does.  

Fernando Ortega sings, “I prayed with the voice of my heart. And He heard my cry.” (I Stretched Out My Hands)

While gathered with people I love and long to be with, we have sung, Listen to Our Hearts. I’m confident He has. 

While sitting with a troubled soul or standing in a room with a family trying to make sense of the passing of a loved one, I remind them and myself of these words. “Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our expectant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.” (Romans 8:26-28, The Message)

Father, thank You for understanding when we don’t have words and for listening to the voice of our hearts. 

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

August 17, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 30

Where Can We Go

Father, 

I watched the reports of the search and rescue efforts as the floodwaters rose quickly and more powerfully than anyone in the Texas Hill Country had ever seen.

I waited anxiously for word that our children had reached high ground and were safe at a friend’s home during the tsunami warning. 

I watch story after story of gunmen who enter buildings and open fire on unsuspecting coworkers and innocent bystanders. 

I see the destruction caused by tornadoes, hurricanes, fires, explosions, train derailments, and all manner of other accidents that create havoc and change lives forever. 

I shake my head in disbelief at the actions, inaction, and consequences of the decisions made by political and world leaders.

I watch, I listen, I sit in silence and grieve, and I ask, where can we go to be safe?

Then, I remember Your words. 

John 16:33, “I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.”

Nahum 1:7, “The Lord is good,
    a refuge in times of trouble.
He cares for those who trust in him,”

Psalm 46:10-11a, “Attention, all! See the marvels of God!
    He plants flowers and trees all over the earth,
Bans war from pole to pole,
    breaks all the weapons across his knee.
“Step out of the traffic! Take a long,
    loving look at me, your High God,
    above politics, above everything.” (The Message)

¹¹     The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.” (NIV)

Psalm 139: 7-12, 23-24, “Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
    to be out of your sight?
If I climb to the sky, you’re there!
    If I go underground, you’re there!
If I flew on morning’s wings
    to the far western horizon,
You’d find me in a minute—
    you’re already there waiting!
Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
    At night I’m immersed in the light!”
It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you;
    night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.”

“Investigate my life, O God,
    find out everything about me;
Cross-examine and test me,
    get a clear picture of what I’m about;
See for yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong—
    then guide me on the road to eternal life.”

Philippians 4:5-9, “Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”

Father, I watch, I listen, I sit in silence and grieve, and I find comfort in knowing that You are our safe place. Our only truly safe place. 

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

August 11, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 29

At Just the Right Time

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷ Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person, someone might possibly dare to die. (Romans 6:6-7)

At just the right time. 

There are no words to adequately express how much those five words mean to all who acknowledge the gift of eternal life at just the right time. He gave His life for us at just the right time, and He continues to help, lead, teach, and show us that He loves us. He does these things at just the right time. 

He puts us in the places at just the right time. He puts us in with people at just the right time. He tells us what to do at just the right time. He reminds us that goodness is within us when we can’t see it at just the right time. He gives us strength when we don’t think we have any, at just the right time. He leads us beside the quiet waters at just the right time. He uses us for His good purposes at just the right time. 

We may not realize it at the time, but if we are not paying attention, we will see that He is with us and for us at just the right time. He always does what He does at just the right time.  

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

August 3, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 28

He Is Our Hope

Solomon’s words ring true on any given week. 

 There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,

     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,

     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,

     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

If we pause and reflect on the last seven days of our lives, we have experienced a little bit of everything. 

Some saw a baby take their first breath, and some saw a loved one take their last.

Some settled into their new homes, while others uprooted their families and headed to a new one. 

We heard about killings, and we heard about healings.

We have wept and mourned, and we have laughed and danced for joy.

Some have gathered our belongings, and others have scattered them.

We have embraced our loved ones, and others could not embrace the ones they love. 

Some have searched for what was lost and eventually given up the search, while others have found what they were looking for.

Some of us sorted through our belongings, kept certain items, and either gave them away or threw them away. 

We have torn some things and mended others. 

We have been silent, and we have spoken.

We have loved some of what we’ve seen and hated what we have seen.

We have seen the tragedies of war and have enjoyed times of peace.

That was not just last week or the coming week; that is each week. That is life. How do we do it? How do we survive? How do we flourish in life with so many ups and downs? 

I know of only one way: We put our hope in Jesus Christ, the Son of the living God. 

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved

A Norvell Note

July 27, 2025 – Vol. 29 No. 27

What Do They See?

According to Mark 8:27, Jesus asked His disciples, “Who do people say that I am?” In a similar vein, at times of introspection, I find myself wondering, “What do others see when they look at me?”

When people look at me, they see a unique blend of characteristics that define who I am. Each person perceives me through their lens, influenced by their experiences, beliefs, and emotions. This perception can vary widely, but certain common threads often emerge.

Firstly, people see my physical appearance. This perception includes my height, build, facial features, and the way I carry myself. My style of dress, grooming, and overall presentation also play a significant role in how I am perceived. These external attributes can convey a lot about my personality, confidence, and even my mood on a given day.

Beyond the surface, people also see my expressions and body language. A smile, a frown, or a look of determination can speak volumes. My gestures, posture, and eye contact can reveal my level of engagement, openness, and approachability. These non-verbal cues are powerful indicators of my inner state and can significantly influence how others see me.

People also see my actions and behavior. How I interact with others, my manners, and my responses to different situations all contribute to the image I project. Acts of kindness, patience, and empathy can leave a lasting impression, just as negative behaviors can. My consistency in actions and words helps build trust and credibility over time.

Moreover, people see my achievements and contributions. Whether in my personal or professional life, the things I accomplish and the impact I make are visible markers of my capabilities and values. These achievements can inspire respect and admiration, and they often shape how others view my potential and worth.

Ultimately, what people see when they look at me is a complex interplay of my physical presence, expressions, actions, and accomplishments. Each of these elements contributes to the multifaceted image that others perceive, reflecting both who I am and how I choose to present myself to the world.

Beneath all those possible perceptions, more than anything else, I hope people see a man who wants to live like Jesus and help others see Him and live like Him. 

I love you.

Tom

A Norvell Note © Copyright 2025 Tom Norvell All Rights Reserved