A Norvell Note – Page 25 – Thoughts and reflections on God, life, people, and living as a follower of Jesus.

Sorting Through the Thoughts

Vol. 21 No. 36 | September 9, 2019

It’s one of those days when thoughts and emotions move faster through my mind than I can process. Ever had a day or night like that, when you can’t sleep or focus?

I think of an opportunity that looks and sounds good, and at the same time, I can’t help but think of all the drawbacks and negatives that might come with it. I think about decisions I need to make and wrestle with the advantages and disadvantages of each.

I think of people in my life, some experiencing exciting life-changing events, others, devastating ones.

I think about all the people reeling from the devastating effects of Hurricane Dorian, or a random shooting, or serious illness, while others are anticipating the change of seasons, or listening to the ocean waves or enjoying a visit with friends and family.

As I try to sort through all of life’s complicated contradictions, the Lord reminds me of these words.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:4-7, NIV)

I find these truths (which all just happen to start with “r”) help me find some peace in the midst of all the chaos.

Rejoice. Rejoice. Rejoice. And rejoice again. Of course, there are many things you can be sad about. But there are countless more you can be grateful for. You’re safe, you have people who love you and you’re breathing, so rejoice.

Remember. The Lord is near. He is with us and will not leave us alone. He protects and empowers us. With that, you can relax and let your peace and gentleness be felt and enjoyed by all. That’s another reason to rejoice.

Relinquish. Relinquish your desire to control the world. Deciding how everything is going to go and what everyone should do isn’t your responsibility. So relax. God’s on top of it He’s got your back.

Relish. Relish in the peace that comes from rejoicing, remembering, and relinquishing control.

You have four tasks this week: Rejoice. Remember. Relinquish. Relish.

When you do those four things, I am confident that all those troubled thoughts and emotions colliding with each other in your brain will settle down, and some will even disappear. Let me know how it goes.

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Tom Norvell’s Coaching & Counseling

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Opportunity is Here, and the Time is Now.

Vol. 21 No. 35 | September 2, 2019

In a letter Paul wrote to Christ’s followers, he reminded them that living as a Christian comes with the opportunity and responsibility to make a positive impact on the people and world around them.

^“Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” (Colossians 4:5-6, NIV)

“Use your heads as you live and work among outsiders. Don’t miss a trick.

Make the most of every opportunity. Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out.” (Colossians 4:5-6, The Message)

Make the most of every opportunity…

Although I’ve probably read and shared these words a hundred times, this time, more than ever before, I felt like Paul was talking to me. I’m a follower of Jesus, which means I have the opportunity and responsibility to make a positive contribution to the people and world around me.

As I reflect on the past week, I realize I had countless opportunities to positively impact the world around me. There was the conversation I had with the customer service representative, who was clearly misinformed and mistaken…I’m not sure I made her world any better that day.

There were other conversations- with insurance agents, baristas, social media connections, family, friends, and co-workers. I wonder, did I help make their day or world any better? Did my words, attitude, and demeanor bring out the best in them?

Deeper reflection reminds me of the countless opportunities and tremendous responsibility we have to improve the world around us, even if it’s in the smallest way.

We are surrounded by people who are afraid, discouraged, and hopeless. Are we doing anything to relieve their fears, lift their spirits, and give them hope? Or are we letting our own fears and hopelessness consume and paralyze us.

In the same letter referenced above, Paul also wrote, “Christ in you, the hope of glory.”

The society we live in seems to exalt arrogance and pride. But are these qualities we would use to describe Jesus? If Jesus resides within us, should these be qualities we exalt and praise? I don’t think so. So instead, we have to seize the opportunity to demonstrate humility and grace.

We can remain silent or complain about the hatred, discrimination, and violence we see around us. Or, we can invite the Spirit of God to work in and through us and act with peace, love, and tolerance.

On any given day, we will have dozens of opportunities to say something encouraging, lend a helping hand, share something inspirational, or just be kind and gracious. These opportunities are gifts, both to have and to share.

Friends, we can no longer afford to be complacent. We can no longer be so consumed with our own needs and agendas that we pass up opportunities to make the world a better place.

We can do better. We must do better…the world needs us.

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Tom Norvell’s Coaching & Counseling

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Out of our Element

Vol. 21 No. 34 | August 26, 2019

Recently, I ventured into one of those large outdoor “man” stores in search of that one basic item to I could buy with my coupon.

The banner hanging above the entrance read: “Fall Hunting Classic. It’s your season!” That should have been a clue, but I went in anyway.

I wasn’t there long before I realized I was totally out of my element.

You see, I’ve never purchased a fishing license, so I have all the fishing gear I need (which is none). And the only time I’ve ever been in a deer stand was with my brother, and all I did was drink coffee and talk to my brother.

I have one pair of cargo shorts wear occasionally to do yard work, so I wasn’t tempted by the wide selection of cargo shorts and pants.

And I’ve never thought camouflage clothing was exactly appropriate for preaching, teaching, writing, counseling, or visiting hospice patients.

The only firearm I’ve ever owned was a bee-bee gun I had as a kid. Although I did notice a pretty cool pistol holster on sale. But I decided my iPad wouldn’t fit in it, so I moved on.

After wandering aimlessly for fifteen minutes or so, I gave up, chuckling to myself. Why in the world am I here? With that, I left the Fall Hunting Classic behind, unused coupon still in hand.

Fortunately, my experience was harmless, but there are times when feeling out of our element is not so innocent.

It’s becoming increasingly common to hear about people being bullied or physically harmed simply because they were out of their element and vulnerable.

Some of us have left church assemblies because we sensed someone like us or with our circumstances, wouldn’t be welcomed. Or we may be attending a church where the culture has shifted. and we now feel uncomfortable and disconnected.

And victims of discrimination, abuse, or oppression may wonder if any place will ever feel comfortable and safe.

In some cases, we can laugh at ourselves and move on. But, there are other times when we need to remove ourselves from a place or community for our highest good, regardless of what other people say or think.

But the truth is, even when we feel alone or abandoned, there is always a place where we will be welcome, safe, and love: wherever Jesus is…which is everywhere, s

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

(Matthew 11:28, NIV)

He will give you rest and show you that you belong.

Oh, by the way, that, that hunting season sale ends soon.

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Tom Norvell’s Coaching & Counseling

______________

Click here to order Until Hope Returns.

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Can I Live This Prayer?

Vol. 21 No. 33 | August 19, 2019

“Two things I ask of you, Lord;
    do not refuse me before I die:
Keep falsehood and lies far from me;
    give me neither poverty nor riches,
    but give me only my daily bread.
Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you
    and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’
Or I may become poor and steal,
    and so dishonor the name of my God. (Proverbs 30:7-9, NIV)

On more than one occasion, I’ve prayed these words, followed by another prayer: “God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” (Luke 18:13, NIV)

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a habitual liar, (although I may have just lied), and I always strive to tell the truth. But I’m human. There are times when I say I’m fine, and I’m not; when I tell someone I’m happy to see them, and I’m not; when I promised to pray for someone, and I didn’t; and when I allowed my silence to imply approval, when that’s not what I felt.

As far as money, wealth, and poverty go, I’ve tried to strike a balance. We’ve been very blessed throughout the years- never gone hungry and always had a place to live. But in truth, there is always an underlying desire to have more.

That said, I still do my best to practice contentment, and I know a balance of possessions is the best approach. But as my friend recently said, “Hit me up in an hour, and I may have already caught the 10 o’clock to Wantsville! But for now, I am content and at peace. God is good.

I think this prayer and my desire to live it can be summed up with my favorite line in O Sacred Head, Now Wounded: “Lord, let me never, never outlive my love to Thee.” (Bernard of Clairvaux)

I hope you’ll join me this week as I try to refocus my thoughts and daily living to reflect this ancient prayer- to live truthfully and to truthfully live with gratitude by trusting that the Lord knows what I need and will graciously provide.

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Tom Norvell’s Coaching & Counseling

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Click here to order Until Hope Returns.

Words That Build and Benefit

Vol. 21 No. 32 | August 12, 2019

Each week, when I sit down at my computer to write, I try to remind myself of these words:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29, NIV)

I’ve never had a problem with using “bad” language (Around other people, that is, alone in my car is a whole different story). But I do have to work to keep my critical and judgmental comments in check, so I often repeat this prayer:

Lord, give me words that are helpful for building others up according to their needs and will benefit those who listen.

Lately, it feels like words that “build up and benefit” are in short supply, doesn’t it? Instead, words meant to demoralize, vilify, and dehumanize seem to be the norm. I fear too many people have become fluent in a common language that incites hatred, rage, and violence, and I believe it’s killing us- body, mind, and spirit.

Let’s do our part to change this. Let’s make a commitment to be intentional with one of the most powerful resources we have: our words and the ability to build others up according to their needs [and] benefit those who listen.

Here’s a useful tip that helps me:

When you read a comment on a social media page that makes you want to take a hammer to your computer screen, go ahead and respond: type exactly what you’re thinking and feeling, but DO NOT SEND IT! Copy and paste it somewhere safe and walk away. Wait a few hours (24 is best) and read it again. Then ask yourself these two questions: Does it build up the person according to their needs? Is it going to benefit those who see it?

Sometimes the person on the receiving end needs to be confronted, and you may be just the person to do it. But, you may not. Let your words marinate for a while before you hurl them out into the world for all to see, permanently.

It’s sometimes too easy to be negative, to judge and criticize. And it’s sometimes very challenging to keep things on a positive track. But when you’re in a group setting and the conversation starts to turn in a negative direction – whether about politics, religion, politics in religion, or how much milk costs – say something to shift the conversation to a more positive tone.

Because, when we choose to use language that helps and heals, we’re not only benefiting others, we’re demonstrating wisdom, kindness, and courage. But when we choose words that hurt and demoralize, we are inflicting pain on others and proving we’re weak-minded, cruel, and insecure.

And trust me, you’ll be much more popular and appreciated making people feel better and the room feel brighter.

So that’s my challenge for the week: share words that build others up according to their needs [and] benefit those who listen.

Remember, you have the power to lift others up, and by doing so, you too, will rise.

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Tom Norvell’s Coaching & Counseling

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Click here to order Until Hope Returns.

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Taking My Hands Off the Wheel

Vol. 21 No. 31 | August 5, 2019

We were cruising up the freeway when a silver Tesla pulled up beside us. I noticed his hands weren’t on the steering wheel, even when we started moving again. I watched as the car followed the curves of the road, changing lanes and adjusting speed as needed. But the driver never touched the wheel.

The car finally exited the freeway and quickly disappeared. We drove on, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the car.

I thought about how amazing technology is, and how it also kind of freaked me out. I’m not sure if I could do it, give up control and trust I would be safe.”

I somehow doubt I will ever have a self-driving car that forces me to trust technology. But I do know I make decisions whether to trust or not several times a day.

When I go to a restaurant, I trust the people preparing and serving my food have followed proper regulations to assure my food is safe to eat.

When my mechanic tells me not to worry, he will take care of everything, I have faith that he knows what he’s doing and he will take care of everything.

I trust the doctor when he or she tells me what I need to do to maintain good health.

When I deposit money in the bank, I trust that it will be in my account the next time I use my debit card.

When I say goodbye to my wife, children, and grand-girls. I trust they will be well, and I will see them again.

We all have to trust people and things like technology, don’t we? Even those who struggle with trust, have to on some level.

There are times when I also struggle with giving up control. It makes me uncomfortable when I sense the Lord is asking me to let Him drive. What if He drives faster or slower than I want to go, or misses a turn, or doesn’t stop when I want Him to?

These are the times when I have to remind myself of His promises and remember, He can be trusted.

Take delight in the Lord,
and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in Him and He will do this:
He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
your vindication like the noonday sun. (Psalm 37:4-6, NIV)

Don’t be surprised if this week, you may hear the Lord say, “Let go of the wheel, I’ve got you. I know the future is uncertain and you’re afraid, but I’ve got you. Trust me.”

If you need help responding to the Lord when you hear Him, the words from this old song might help.

I surrender all
I surrender all
All to Thee my blessed Saviour
I surrender all (Israel Houghton)

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Tom Norvell’s Coaching & Counseling

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Standing At a Crossroad

Vol. 21 No. 30 | July 29, 2019

I sat down to watch TV with my wife just as the movie Cast Away was starting. As soon as I heard the soundtrack, I felt the same emotions I had the first time I saw Tom Hank’s amazing performance. As I watched his character, Noland, attempt to find relief from his desperation, I felt anxious, confused, frustrated, and disappointed. I couldn’t help but think how futile it all seemed.

Those emotions felt so real because, although I have never been trapped on a deserted island, I have lived through times of anxiety, frustration, disappointment, and futility.

I remember waking up in a cold, dark room in a small Ukrainian village realizing I was seriously ill. I found out 5 days later that I had an adult version of Chicken Pox. But during those first 5 days, the isolation and uncertainty I felt made me wonder if my end had come.

I remember the utter horror and futility I felt when our house caught on fire. My two neighbors and I stood in the cold watching my house engulfed in flames as the firemen tried to save as much of it as they could.

I remember the frustration and helplessness I felt when I couldn’t fix someone’s problem, improve a church situation, help a couple desperate to fix their marriage or give hope to a man who was paralyzed by depression and wanted to die.

Those are just a few experiences that came to my mind as I watched Noland try to survive four years marooned on an island, only to return home and discover his former life no longer existed.

But in the final scene, Noland arrives at a crossroad, and his desperate situation is transformed into one of opportunity and hope. He has a choice- he can be a victim of his circumstance, or he can face them with courage and forge on.

We know that feeling too, don’t we? Before, during, and after times of confusion and futility, we stand at a crossroad that could permanently change the course of our lives.

So what will we make of this day? Will we take the opportunity to offer a word of encouragement to someone in need, or will we find the courage to seek out the encouragement we need from someone else? Will we live this day to please God, or will we choose to focus on our own pleasure instead?

I am confident and grateful that God is with me at each crossroad, reminding me of His presence, listening to my concerns, and assuring me that, whichever road I choose, He will be with me.

We don’t know what this week will bring. We may experience feelings of desperation and isolation. And we may be faced with disappointment and futility.

All we can do is make a choice- be victims of our circumstances or face them with courage and forge on.

My prayer for you this week is that you face the day, or even just the next hour, with courage and as much joy you can, allowing God to walk with you and light your path.

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Tom Norvell’s Coaching & Counseling

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Click here to order Until Hope Returns.

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For the Unseen Heros

Vol. 21 No. 29 | July 22, 2019

How do they do it? What compels them to go without sleep, sacrifice their time, and go the extra mile? What keeps them from throwing in the towel?

The police officer who is constantly scrutinized and criticized by the public.

The single parent who sacrifices everything for his or her kids.

The divorced man or woman who gets up alone and goes to bed alone every night.

The broken-hearted lovers who feel a pain as relentless and it is unbearable.

The middle-aged man who realizes his life-long dream is never going to happen.

The teacher who is overworked, underpaid, and disrespected.

The small business owner who continues to scrape by, struggling to keep the doors open and hoping to make it to the end of another year.

The ones who are oppressed because of their gender, skin color, sexual orientation, religious beliefs, or for just being different from the status quo.

How do they do it? How do they keep going?

I see them, am amazed by them, and want to be more like them.

I don’t know if they believe in Him or share His beliefs and convictions. But when I watch these people, I cannot help but see Jesus in them, reminding me of His words:

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
    because he has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
    and recovery of sight for the blind,
to set the oppressed free,

to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” (Luke 4:18-19, NIV)

Like Jesus, these people understand who they are and why they’re here. They are determined to forge on, to fulfill their purpose, no matter the cost.

Or maybe they haven’t figured out who they are or why they are here, but they still choose to live authentically, with conviction, integrity, love, and compassion.

To all of these people who live with such courage and grace, thank you. You are seen, admired, loved, and respected.

May I be a mirror so you can see all that you are, may you accept all that you are, and may you thrive.

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Tom Norvell’s Coaching & Counseling

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Click here to order Until Hope Returns.

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Pancakes & Strawberry Popsicles

Vol. 21 No. 28 | July 15, 2019

Our oldest granddaughter, Isabel, is on her way home after spending the past week with us. Although she has stayed with us before, it was always with her parents. This was the first time she would be spending an entire week with us by herself and her first time away from home for this long. It was also the first time we would be spending an entire week alone with one of our grandchildren.

I think we were all a bit nervous. What if she got homesick, or worse, physically sick? What if she asked for something we can’t allow? What if something happens to her while she’s with us? How will she do when she wakes up and her parents are gone?

But we were also excited and planned a week packed full of activities- pancakes and strawberry popsicles, sleeping on the sofa, sleeping in a fort, spending the night with cousin Norah, a trip to the donut shop, a trip to Aunt Laura’s shop, swimming, watching movies, eating watermelon, ordering pizza, burgers on the grill, a trip to the mall, more swimming, camping in the backyard (which was abandoned for an air-conditioned room without the flies), FaceTime with the family (that included lots of laughter and some moments trying to hold back tears), more swimming, and more pancakes.

We got through the week with only some minor hiccups- a couple of cousin squabbles; a few gentle reminders that “We don’t do that.” Constant requests for a snack, followed by and an equal amount of “I’m still hungry.”

But, thanks to her dad, who had packed a bag of “just in case” items, there were no complaints about being bored.

As the week comes to an end, the memories are already filling up my mind, along with hopes for the future…

I hope the silence in our home from the absence of little voices and laughter won’t be too deafening.

I hope the memories made this week will be the first of many. And I hope they will continue even when she grows up and prefers spending time with her friends over visiting Papa and Yei-Yei.

I hope that she will always know that we love her more than she will be able to understand until she has a grandchild of her own.

I hope I’ll never forget the look on her face when she stepped off the subway at her stop, inhaled deeply, and said, “Mmmmm. That smells good.”

And I hope our home will always be a place she wants to come back to, a place she knows she will find love, joy, peace, pancakes and strawberry popsicles.

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Tom Norvell’s Coaching & Counseling

______________

Click here to order Until Hope Returns.

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A When-Will-This-Happen-Again Event

Vol. 21 No. 27 | July 8, 2019

It was one of those “when-will-this-happen-again” family events.

Scheduled around the 4^th of July, we were able to get my two brothers and our spouses; our four sons and one daughter and their spouses; and our thirteen grandchildren, all together in one room.

It took a good amount of effort to schedule, time and money to travel, and gracious hospitality. But it was worth it. For a few hours we were all together for good food, heartfelt conversations, and fellowship of the richest kind.

I came away with these reflections.

Family gatherings take effort. A few weeks earlier, none of us would have thought a gathering like this was even possible. But someone had the idea, shared it with the rest of us, and everyone agreed to make it happen.

Modern technology and transportation offer us opportunities and adventures that make it easy to keep in close contact with our loved ones. But to be face-to-face with them requires intentional action.

Time passes quickly. Some of us had not seen each other in years, and some of the children are almost unrecognizable compared to the younger images that were etched in our minds. It’s feasible that some of them will be adults and have children before we see them again. Time passes quickly and we have to take advantage of these opportunities when we have them.

Family gatherings also remind us of those who are missing. We try not to dampen the spirit of being together or drift into nostalgic melancholy, but it is difficult to avoid. As I watched our children and grand-girls interact with my siblings’ children and grandchildren, I could not help but think that our sister would have enjoyed this. I also thought of my parents and wondered if they had any idea what would evolve out of their union so many years ago.

I love my family. I have been blessed by my family. Memories like we created this weekend motivate me to live in a way that reflects the values and traditions of our family. I realize that not everyone is as fortunate as I am to have grown up with and enjoy the family I have.

I also know, for those who don’t have a close family, that it may not be too late. I believe it is possible to develop and nurture your own healthy, happy family if you are intentional and invest in doing what it takes to cultivate one.

This is my hope, that one day you will see your family flourish and enjoy one another. It takes effort. It takes time. But it will be worth it.

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Tom Norvell’s Coaching & Counseling

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Chick here to order Until Hope Returns.

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