A Norvell Note

Always and Never

A Norvell Note for January 4, 2021

Vol. 24 No. 01

Always and Never

Always and never are big words. In marriage and relationship counseling, we advise against using the words “always” and “never.”

For instance, you might describe your spouse by saying, “You always leave your mess for me to clean up after you.” Or “You never listen to what I am saying.” Such statements are simply not factual, but they also put the other person in a hopeless situation. No one always does something. We are not that consistent or dependable.

In our frustration with communicating and overcoming relationship problems, we may feel that the other person always does something or never does something else, but it’s probably not possible. It is more accurate to say, “Sometimes, in fact, quite often, you leave your mess for me to clean up after you.” And “You seldom really listen to me when I’m talking to you.”

Avoiding using the words “never” and “always” is an important principle that encourages healthier communication.

Yet, when God uses the words, we can believe it.

“God has said, never will I leave you never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)

“Look, I am with you every minute, even to the end of the age.” (paraphrasing Matthew 28:20)

When He says always, He means always. When God says never, He means never. We may make such promises and believe them, but we also realize we are human and may not follow through. But, when God says it, we can know it is true.

What does that mean for us?

We can trust God. When life gets hard and challenges are great, our faith in God may vacillate, and people may disappoint us. God has never failed us, and He will always be worthy of our trust. He is faithful. He keeps His promises.

We are never alone. People will leave us, fail to show up, and some will be unavailable when we need them most. God is with us. We were not alone last year, and we are not alone now. We will not be alone this year.

These are my words. Trusting God, believing that He is always near me and is still with me has never been difficult. A strong belief in God’s grace and faithfulness was planted in my heart as a child and has sustained me throughout my life. Have I been disappointed, confused, frustrated, and angry when His ways have not matched my desires? Absolutely! I still do. But I trust Him.

You have had a different life experience than mine. Pain and discouragement may have impacted you than it has on me. Taking God at His word may not be easy for you. Trusting that He will be there may be beyond your comprehension. I hope that changes this year and that you will begin to feel God’s presence in your life like you never have.

He is with us. Always. He will not leave us. Never.

You may read past articles at A Norvell Note.

All Will Be Well

A Norvell Note

December 31, 2020 Vol. 23 No. 38

All Will Be Well

Here’s the plan. When the clock strikes midnight on December 31, 2020 (that’s tonight), everything that has been wrong with this year will be made right.

Everyone is vaccinated, and no one had terrible side effects. Those who have been sick are getting well. COVID is a memory only. Hospitals return to typical, and front-line workers are back to working a regular shift.

All the money lost is recovered. Every small business that has closed reopens. Every job is restored and at a higher pay rate than before.

Restaurants reopen for outdoor and indoor dining.

Coffee shops welcome people to come in, sit, work, read, visit, and enjoy their space.

Stadiums and arenas, and concert venues are full of enthusiastic fans.

Everyone is pleased with the election results, the relief bill passed quickly and unanimously, and we all get a more generous check than we expected. The transition process is moving forward with total united and unprecedented cooperation.

Schools reopen completely, parents can go back to being parents, and every teacher gets a big raise.

Zoom calls are only for the fun stuff.

Churches start holding in-person services again.

Masks are no longer needed, and we can hug and shake hands again.

Happy New Year! It’s 2021, and all is well, all will be well.

If I had the power, that’s what would happen when the clock strikes midnight tonight.

Unfortunately, I don’t have that power, which is probably a good thing. I’m sure I would abuse it and do some dumb stuff. If the only reason you’re staying up until midnight, you might as well go to bed early and get a good night’s sleep because none of the things I mentioned are going to happen on January 1, 2021.

But don’t give up. Hope is still alive.

Changing the calendar may not alter world events, heal the sick, transform a personality, or replenish an empty bank account. Still, it does allow you to evaluate how we are living and make needed improvements.

The events of 2020 have reminded us of the importance of staying connected to people we love. That’s a good thing. Take that with you into the new year. Stay in touch. Get reconnected. If you need to express your love and appreciation, say it. Don’t wait until the right time. Now is the right time.

Living in a pandemic has opened our eyes to the fact that tomorrow is not guaranteed. So, live today. Leave the past in the past. Be present.

The anxiety produced by the Coronavirus, social unrest, and political chaos remind us to be people of peace and calm and discernment. We’ve learned to be careful with our words (some of us). Let’s continue to be cautious with what we say. We’ve learned to listen before we speak (some of us). Let’s keep listening. We’ve discovered how to be gentle and kind (some of us). Let’s continue being gentle and kind.

It’s a new year. The old year is gone. Struggles will continue, but if we use the wisdom we’ve gained in 2020, then 2021, no matter what it brings, is sure to be a better year.

“I know that I still have a long way to go. But there is one thing I do:

I forget what is in the past and try as hard as I can to reach the goal before me.”

Happy New Year, and may 2021 be a year of being blessed and being a blessing, of being loved and loving others, of holding on to hope and sharing your hope with others, and of finding peace and being a peacemaker.

Let There Be Peace on Earth

A Norvell Note forthe week of December 21, 2020

Vol. 23 No. 38

Let There Be Peace on Earth

“Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.”[i]

That peace on earth could be achievable addresses a common longing in this season of confusion, unrest, distress, and grief. That I play a role in bringing peace to the world is both challenging and inspiring.

So, I’ve asked myself, how can I help bring about peace on earth? Here are a few discoveries.

Recognizing that I have a role in creating peace on earth is the first step. Just praying for peace does not make it happen. Wishing for peace does not make it so. We will never progress toward peace until I recognize and accept that peace does indeed begin with me.

When I notice people, peace can begin. Peace begins when I acknowledge the homeless on the sidewalk and in the intersection, the dying patient under my care, the family waiting for good news, and my co-workers. The friends in my circle, the prodigal standing at my door or facing me in the mirror, and the people sitting around your table need to know I see them and appreciate their existence.

Peace will come when I listen. When I listen to my spouse, my children, my closest friends, peace can begin. When I listen to the stranger, peace can begin. When I listen to my enemy, peace can begin. When I listen to my client, peace can begin. Listen to their story. When I listen to myself, and when I listen to the Lord, peace can begin. When I listen, truly listen, not just to the words, but to the heart, peace can begin.

When I talk to people, peace can begin. When I speak with them, not down to them, and not about them, peace can begin. Peace can start when I talk to the person in front of me or on the other end of a telephone conversation; or in one of the Zoom meeting windows. When I speak with humility, respect, kindness, and gentleness, peace can begin. Talk with them to learn about them, not just wait for an opportunity to talk about myself.

Peace is possible in our homes, in our workplace, and in this world, and yes, it does begin with me. So, let there be peace on earth.

“Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.” Take time and enjoy the song and video: Let There Be Peace on Earth

“Glory to God in the highest,
And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!” (Luke 2:14)

[i] “Let There Be Peace on Earth” was initially written in 1955 for the International Children’s Choir by Jill Jackson-Miller and Sy Miller.

Your Life Matters

A Norvell Note for the week of December 14, 2020

Vol. 23 No. 37

Your Life Matters

On the anniversary of my mother’s death – December 8, 1964 – I intentionally set aside time to reflect on what that means.

Fifty-six years ago, today, Mama died.

That means there have been 56 Christmases, 55 birthdays, and 55 Thanksgivings without her.

That means she never saw me play basketball, baseball, run track, or my feeble attempt to play football

She never met any friend, girlfriend, teacher, coach, family, or preacher who helped fill in the void left by her passing.

She never met my wife, my in-laws, my son or my daughter, my daughter-in-law, my son-in-law, or our grandchildren.

She never heard me preach, teach a class, sing a song, read even one of my articles, or receive a copy of my book.

She never visited our home, attended graduations, shared a heartbreak, heard me lament over my failures, or celebrated a victory with me.

We never shared a cup of coffee, talked about our fears, our hopes, our dreams, had a conversation about life, faith, church, religion, politics, spoke about how difficult life can sometimes be, and so many other things.

Yet, there is never a day that her influence on my life is not felt, experienced, or seen. Her short life of forty-four years made a profound and eternal impact on my sister, my two brothers, me, and countless other people.

My Mama’s life mattered. Her life still matters.

As I continued my reflections, I recalled that this verse was the basis for the first official sermon I ever preached: “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10, NIV)

As I prepared that sermon, I was confident that I had enough notes to preach for at least 45 minutes. At the 11-minute mark, I realized that I had nothing more to say. So, I stopped. Maybe that was the Lord telling me that it’s not the length of the sermon, nor the years of life, that matters, but the quality that matters.

He invites us to live our lives fully and abundantly. That’s how He lived, and His life mattered. That’s how my Mama lived, and her life mattered.

Your life matters. Live it well, and your influence will last far beyond your years on this earth.

Every life matters.

ADDENDUM: Let us also remember the 300,000 people who have died this year from the virus. Each life that mattered and they will live on through those who loved them.

Dates We Remember

A Norvell Note forthe week of December 7, 2020

Vol. 23 No. 36

Dates We Remember

There are certain days in history that we remember exactly where we were and what we were doing.

I was in Mrs. Roger’s 5th-grade class at Guernsey School when we heard about the death of President John F. Kennedy on November 22, 1963.

I was doing homework in my house listening to the radio on April 4, 1968, when I heard about Martin Luther King, Jr.’s fatal shooting while standing on the balcony outside his second-story room at the Lorraine Motel in Memphis, Tennessee.

I was with high school friends on July 20, 1969, Neil Armstrong became the first human to step on the moon.

And I was in a staff meeting at the East Brainerd Church of Christ on September 11, 2001.

I was on my way home from school when I got off the bus at my Uncle Ruby and Aunt Eunice’s grocery store on December 8, 1964, when I learned that my mother had died at the age of 44. This week marks 56 years since that day. I was 11 years old.

Even if I am paying attention, that last date hits me with a wave of nostalgia and sadness. I remind myself it’s coming, I reflect on the many other mothers who have stepped in through the years to help fill that void, and I usually spend time being grateful for the life she lived and the heritage that she left me. After all this time, I still grieve a little.

Although we may not remember the exact time and place where we first heard the word “Coronavirus,” we will never forget the year 2020. We will all remember, and many will grieve.

For those who are grieving the loss of human life, I offer these reminders.

Moving through holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries for the first time is hard. Prepare yourself for some difficult days and nights. Preparing will not eliminate the pain, but it will help.

Let yourself grieve. You need to mourn. If you find yourself feeling angry, it is okay. If you feel like crying, it is okay to cry. Whatever you are feeling is okay. Let yourself feel it.

Let yourself grieve the way that is best for you. Good and well-meaning friends and family may tell you what you should do and how you should go through this time. Let them talk. Thank them. And then, do what you need to do. If they say, “I know exactly how you feel.” They probably don’t.

Don’t hesitate to ask for help if you need it. Asking for help does not mean you are a failure. It merely means you need a little help to get through a rough spell. Call a friend, visit a neighbor, spend time with family, or join a group. You do not need to go through it alone if you don’t want to.

Yes, 2020 will be a year we will always remember, but won’t it be great when we can call it a memory.

A Time to Let Go

A Norvell Note for the week of November 30, 2020

Vol. 23 No. 35

A Time to Let Go

I have an old pair of Levi’s that are loose and frayed and worn, and now have a couple of iron-on patches. They have served me well through the years and especially during the Pandemic. But, I know the day is coming, may have already passed, when it will be time to let them go.

Our 2007 Toyota Highlander, had 8 miles on the odometer on it when I drove away from the dealership, now has almost 281,000 miles on it. Within the last year, we repaired or repaired many significant parts, the outside is scraped and scratched, and the seats are worn thin and stained. There will come a time when we will not include the Highlander in our travel plans.

I have dreamed dreams that were clear and seemingly within the realm of possibility, only to realize that they will never come true later. A successful career never materialized. The growth potential never developed. The relationship that held so much promise never evolved.

Against our will, because of the Pandemic, we have learned about letting go. We’ve let go of traditions and people who are sacred to us. We’ve let go of dreams. We’ve let go of plans. We’ve delayed graduation ceremonies and parties, reimagined wedding plans, put vacations on hold, and celebrated holiday traditions in non-traditional ways.

Life teaches us to accept that material possessions wear out, people leave us, plans can change and fall through, dreams sometimes fade, and we have to let go of them.

The wise man who told us, “There is…a time to throw away,” also said, “There is a time to keep. [i]” So, do your best to accept the fact that letting go is a part of living a full life. It is not always easy, but acceptance is key to the process.

Then, hold on to what you can. Add another patch to those favorite jeans, as long as it is cost-effective, make those auto repairs, and keep dreams. Cherish every moment with your family and friends. Hold tight, keep it running, dream on, and live a rich life of blessings and blessing others.

[i] Proverbs 3:6

We Can Still Be Thankful

A Norvell Note forthe week of November 23, 2020

Vol. 23 No. 34

We Can Still Be Thankful

We wear masks to protect others and ourselves, but creative people have provided colorful, unique, and safe face coverings. For these people and these masks are thankful.

Medical professionals are still willing to risks their lives to save others’ lives; some have lost their lives. For these dedicated workers, we are thankful.

Companies have been thoughtful and innovative in developing tools and opportunities for their employees to work remotely. For this can be thankful for that.

Individuals, churches, businesses, and food banks collect and distribute tons of food and essential products to families so they will not go hungry. For these generous hearts, we are thankful.

Nearly 100,000 small businesses have closed, millions have lost their jobs. If you are still working for this, you can be thankful.

Teachers, school administrators, and parents are learning new and creative ways to provide quality education. For dedicated teachers and determined parents, we can be thankful.

Church leadership teams are being diligent in providing meaningful ways to worship safely. For these spiritual leaders, we can be thankful.

You may not be able to have a typical Thanksgiving this year, but hopefully, you can safely share a meal with someone you love. For this, you can be thankful.

We may not be able to reach out and physically touch someone who needs encouragement, but we can use the technology we have to call, text, email, FaceTime, or Zoom to remind them that you love them and are thankful for them. For this, we can be grateful.

The deaths from the pandemic and increasing cases of violence have reminded us that life is fragile. If you are healthy and your family safe and well, for good health, we should be thankful.

In a year when almost everything has changed, we have the opportunity to be a source of hope and peace. For this, we can be thankful.

A Different Time

A Norvell Note for the week of November 16, 2020

Vol. 23 No. 33

A Different Time

An Old Testament wisdom book says: “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”

The writer expands that thought by listing life’s cycles, and that change is inevitable.

We know change is inevitable, don’t we? We’ve all experienced the expected changes in life. When we become an adult, we share specific changes. Choosing to marry or not marry brings definite changes. Having a child changes just about everything. Then, navigating the stages our children go through brings change that never seems to end.

Change is a part of living. I have been called a “change agent” on more than one occasion (not issued as a compliment). And, yes, sometimes I change things just for the sake of change. The changes we have experienced in the last nine months have surpassed anything we could have imagined or can comprehend. Life is very different than what we knew a relatively short time ago.

The way we shop is different.

The way we eat is different.

The way we travel is different.

Healthcare is different.

The way we communicate is different.

How we celebrate holidays is different.

The way we dress is different.

The way we do our jobs is different.

The way we engage in the education process is different.

The way we vote is different.

The way we exercise and enjoy sporting events is different. (The Master’s in November.)

The way we experience death and grief is different.

We are learning to change how we handle change.

Let me offer this counsel on piloting these forced changes.

Accept the fact that life is different. Regardless of how we feel about it, life is different. The world is different. Almost everything is different.

If possible, try to stay focused on the present. Try not to dwell too long on the way it was or what may or may not be in the future. Try to accept the fact that these changes have occurred. Acceptance is key.

As often as you can, pause, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and think about the things that have not changed. God is still God. People need respect, kindness, gentleness, mercy, and love. You always have the opportunity and ability to show them respect, kindness, gentleness, understanding, and love. We have changed by the changes, but you are still you. Keep being you.

Today will bring more changes, and you can help others adjust. You can offer a listening ear or a kind word. You can give a gentle touch and be a comforting presence.

There is a time for everything, and now is the time for you to change a life.

Hear us. Help us. Heal us. Hold us.

A Norvell Note forthe week of November 9, 2020

Vol. 23 No. 32

Hear us. Help us. Heal us. Hold us.

Rather than recap all the happenings of last the nine months, and especially the last week, I’ll just pray.

Hear us, Lord.

On any given day, and especially on this day, we need to know. You hear us. Some of us are crying out in despair, some in frustration, and some in sadness and anger. We are also crying out with disbelief, relief, joy, and celebration. All of us are crying out for wisdom, patience, understanding, and discernment. All of us are crying out for calmness, restraint, justice, and mercy. Hear us, Lord.

Help us, Lord.

Whether we are experiencing feelings of celebration or feelings of defeat, we interact with one another in our homes, work with friends and in church, help us express our feelings with respect, humility, and graciousness. When we talk about the events taking place in the world around us, give us the language that builds others up and encourages those who listen. Help us, Lord.

Heal us, Lord.

We are battered and bruised, confused and distracted, afraid, and cautious about the future. Our opinions, decisions, and assumptions divide us. We are trying to maintain our hope, but we struggle to maintain that attitude of hopefulness consistently. We are hurting. Heal us, Lord.

Hold us, Lord.

A child frightened by a thunderstorm, or awakened by a nightmare, wants to be held and comforted. So we want to hear Your calming voice and long for the peacefulness of resting in Your strong arms. We trust You, and we need You. Hold us, Lord.

So That You May Have Peace

A Norvell Note for the week of November 2, 2020

Vol. 23 No. 31

So That You May Have Peace

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33, NIV)

Jesus spoke those words to His closest friends as He moved toward the cross, as they encountered a time of confusion and struggle as they had never known. He wanted them to see that He was aware of what they were experiencing even though He would not be with them in the flesh.

The circumstances are different, but our need for comfort and peace is just as real today.

We are living in a time of confusion and struggle. How many people will die from the Coronavirus? How much longer with the pandemic last? Will I be able to pay my mortgage? Will I be able to feed my family? Will I get COVID? What if one of my loved ones gets it? Will our nation be at peace after the election ends? Will all people ever be treated as equals? Why is this happening? When will it end?

It took some time before the disciples completely understood what He was saying to them, but He wanted to prepare them for what was ahead. It will take some time before we fully grasp what has happened and is happening to us and our country. It is exhausting, and maybe futile, to try to answer all the questions.

We can find comfort (“take heart”) in knowing God is aware of our situation. He knows what we are going through, and He knows how it is affecting us. He may not choose to intervene or change the circumstances, but He knows, and He is with us.

We can find comfort in knowing that He has overcome the world. “In this world you will have trouble.” How? That is another question I can’t answer, but I am confident that it is true. When He ready, He will reveal His plan.

I don’t know when the pandemic will end. I don’t know what will happen when the vote is final. I don’t know what will happen an hour from now. But, I do know that God is here, Jesus is alive, and the Spirit is with us and in us. That is enough for today.

Peace be with you.

Always and Never

All Will Be Well

Let There Be Peace on Earth

Your Life Matters

Dates We Remember

A Time to Let Go

We Can Still Be Thankful

A Different Time

Hear us. Help us. Heal us. Hold us.

So That You May Have Peace

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